Dwelling on a soulmate can be a double-edged sword. If things are great between the two of you, then dwelling on your soulmate fills you with positive thoughts and emotions. However, if things between you have hit a snag, dwelling on your soulmate can drive you to the depths of despair. It’s very difficult not to think about your soulmate. You may try to get them out of your thoughts. But they always seem to creep back in. That’s not what is detrimental. But it is detrimental when you dwell on a soulmate for all the wrong reasons.
FOCUS ON YOURSELF
If your relationship with your soulmate hits a snag, focus on yourself first. What part of the problem belongs to you? Even if they’re at fault, look deeper for your role in the problem. How are you reacting to it? Are you excusing it too easily and now it’s become a habit? If so, focus your mind on what you need to do differently. And stop worrying if what you do differently will work.
Stop going through every worst case scenario in your head. Focusing on the fears can make them manifest. Stop dwelling on the lessons your soulmate must learn. Don’t worry about when they will learn their lesson.
Stop making it all about them. You’re not perfect. No one is. The universe brought you together to teach you some things too. If you’re too busy with their lessons, how can you learn your own? You can’t. Perhaps your lesson is to learn to pull back, or enforce boundaries, with more than your words. Perhaps your lesson could be to stop being such a control freak. How can you blame your soulmate for not learning their lessons if you refuse to learn yours?
STOP GIVING YOUR ENERGY TO THEM
If you’re dwelling on a soulmate who is no longer in your life, you need to find a way to draw your energy back to you and away from them. It’s not about cutting the cord. It’s about giving them less attention. The more energy you give to thoughts and feelings about them, the harder it will be to get rid of them. It’s like feeding a monster, it will just grow and grow. And it does nothing to bring your soulmate back to you any quicker either. We understand you miss and long for them. The pain is unbearable. But are you sure they will never be in your life again? No. Especially if your soulmate has a habit of coming in and out of your life repeatedly.
Instead of dwelling on the unknown, look at what you do know. If you know your soulmate is guilty of habitually leaving and coming back, then expect the same thing from them again. Instead of dwelling on why they keep leaving ask yourself why you keep allowing this to happen. Again, take ownership of your role in this.
Change what you do, so you can bring about change in your soulmate and your relationship. If they leave but don’t do this all the time, again, look at what you can learn. Did you push them away or act inappropriately? If you did, don’t just promise yourself you won’t do that again. Look at why you did that. Figure out what you can do to ensure that doesn’t happen again if you get another chance.
Dwelling isn’t productive and if left unchecked can quickly morph into soulmate obsession. Studying and learning from your past relationships helps you to make better choices and decisions in the future.