For part two of our article about your soulmate and his ex, we’re going to focus on the on/off relationships that seem to plague many soulmate couples. You can read Part 1 here.
THE EX WILL HOLD ON TO MAKE YOU MISERABLE
Quite frequently, the ex does not want to let go of your soulmate. She doesn’t want him to be happy. No matter how long they have been broken up, she will still jump at the chance to take your soulmate back. Sometimes an ex may believe your soulmate is actually their soulmate. Sometimes they just don’t want you to have them. She certainly doesn’t want him to find a greater happiness with you than what they had. They just want to ruin your chance to find happiness with their ex. Since they are not happy, they don’t want you and their ex to be happy either. So she leaves an open door for your soulmate to return. This can cause a major problem and create all kinds of difficulties.
You may worry your soulmate could go back to his ex. And because of that worry you let things slide. Actually, you let too many things slide. The fear of your soulmate going back to his ex will create a dynamic in your relationship that will be very difficult to change down the road.
When a couple gets together, they create their roles and rules in the relationship. If your fear of your soulmate going back to their ex keeps you from creating and enforcing healthy boundaries, you will wind up in a dysfunctional soulmate relationship. The strength of love propels a relationship forward. But the weakness of fear destroys the ability to create a solid foundation for a relationship. If you’re coming from a place of fear, what you fear most (the end of the relationship) will most likely come to pass. If you have faith in the relationship, in yourself and the connection, you will have the strength to do what needs to be done to preserve that relationship.
Sometimes the fear of your soulmate returning to their ex becomes a reality. Your soulmate may not be ready to embrace your connection and learn their lessons. They may develop an on/off relationship with both you and the ex. Things are going great between the two of you and then all of a sudden your soulmate starts acting weird. You feel a strange distance developing between the two of you. There’s a nagging feeling he may be in communication with his ex. You ask him what’s wrong and they tell you everything is fine. But you know better.
Then, *poof*, your soulmate is out of your life and back with his ex. Of course you’re devastated. You worry he will never come back. You wonder what kind of power she has over him that makes it impossible to let go of her. Believe us, she has zero power. You don’t either. HE has all the power and is using it against the both of you. He wants his soulmate in his life, but isn’t willing to step up to the plate. The ex keeps your focus them. And not him or your soulmate connection. You may blame her. Don’t. He is to blame. He is not the victim. You are his victim. Both you and the ex want him exclusively. Both you and his ex want the on/off relationship stuff to stop. Neither of you is getting want they want. Only he is. Again, blame him.
This cycle of insanity has to come to a close. She needs to stay in the past, and he needs to move forward with you into the future. The only way it will change is when someone finally puts their foot down. And unfortunately that person may need to be you. This is where you need to enforce boundaries within your relationship. He needs to realize you will no longer be the victim in this on / off relationship game.