Is Your Soulmate Afraid of Losing You? They Should Be

If your soulmate is not afraid of losing you, you need to sit back and ask yourself why. The quick and easy answer is because they have no fear you’d ever leave them.

You have made it too easy for them. After all, they see you tolerate their countless nonsense, bad behavior and bad manners. So what’s one more time going to hurt?

You are the one getting hurt, not your soulmate. So why should they stop their nonsense for fear of losing you? Since you haven’t left, they doubt you ever will. When you make abnormal behavior acceptable in a relationship, it becomes the norm in your relationship.

This is the fastest, quickest and easiest route to a dysfunctional soulmate relationship.

WHY THEY’RE NOT AFRAID OF LOSING YOU

If you want your soulmate to be afraid of losing you, you will have to stand up for yourself. No one is afraid of a weakling. A strong, empowered man or woman knows they have to back up their words.

They also need to back up their ultimatums with actions. There has to be consequences, a punishment if you will, for bad behavior. If you make too many allowances and excuses, they won’t think you mean business.

You have to be believable. Your soulmate may know you’re terrified of losing them, no matter what they do to you. And they use that fear against you. Do you show them you will stay with him at the expense of your own self-respect, dignity and happiness? If you do, why would they be afraid of losing you? They shouldn’t and they won’t!

Stand up for Yourself

Your soulmate needs a natural, normal fear. One that if they screw up badly, they will lose you. In order for that to happen, the first time they screw up, you have to take it seriously. Don’t let it slide. Create and enforce your boundaries.

Is Your Soulmate Afraid of Losing You?
Is Your Soulmate Afraid of Losing You?

Even if you have to take a break from them for a while, have the courage to do it. It may sound hard to do, but it’s not as hard as putting up with mistreatment over and over. Make them worry about what would happen if they do it again.

If it’s not believable, the fear goes out the window. Think about all the things we fear. We’re afraid of these things because they will either cause us to lose something, hurt us or kill us. That’s where most fears come from.

They should fear that they screwed up one time too many. And they should fear your feelings for them may change. They should be afraid of losing their soulmate, someone who is irreplaceable.

Just showing them your fear won’t work. Your tears about how hurt you are won’t work. Guilting them won’t work. Those are your feelings of hurt and fear, not theirs. Only their own will make them stay in line.

START BY LOOKING AT YOURSELF

A good place to start working on healthy fears in a relationship is to examine your own. Is your fear of losing them is so great it allows you to tolerate bad behavior without taking a stand? If you don’t change you will never get the relationship to have proper balance or mutual respect.

It’s time to examine why you allow yourself to stay in a relationship where you’re undervalued and disrespected. You can’t use the soulmate label as an excuse. Spiritual relationships are held to higher standards. Lowering your standards disgraces the spiritual bond you have. That’s not what the universe intended, and they will not support it.

Once someone loses respect for you the way they see you changes. It ‘s just a matter of time.

Why?

Because what you don’t respect is not attractive to you. And by putting up with intolerable behavior you lose their respect down the line. Don’t teach them they can do terrible things to you and you wont do anything about it.

Empower yourself.

Your hurt feelings should be enough for you do something about it. Your feelings alone obviously aren’t doing enough to make them change. You need action. You need to put your foot down. And you need to make them believe you’ve had enough.

CHANGE YOUR BEHAVIOR

If they refuse to share their feelings for you, stop telling them yours. Let them learn that you need to hear it too. When they have no time for you, don’t have time for them. Stop revolving your life around their spare time.

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This will help them see you need to be a priority. If they haven’t made a commitment stop behaving like you’re already committed to them. And stop begging for a commitment. How can they think a commitment is important to you if you don’t make it so?

If a commitment is what you need, you would be prepared to give them an ultimatum. And if they cheat on you, end the relationship immediately and go quiet for a while. Yes, soulmates cheat, unfortunately.

What are your deal breakers?

They need to see that cheating is a deal breaker for you, as it is with many people. If it is a big deal, then you should act like it is. Otherwise, you send them the message it’s not such a big deal. Is that the message you really want to send?

If your relationship is an on/off relationship, realize they do this because you show them they can get away with it. So your soulmate isn’t afraid of losing you because they have done this so many times. Yet you never moved on, found someone else or turned them away. Sure, you may have bitched at them about it. But they’re not afraid of your words.

They would only be afraid of you moving on is if you turned them away when they came back. Have you done that? If you haven’t, don’t sit around dumbfounded that they did it again and again. Every time you allow it to happen you prove to them that they can do it again. Your choices are to either do something different this time or accept mistreatment. The decision, the responsibility, and the consequences that come with it, are yours.

LOOK AT THINGS REALISTICALLY

It’s time to accept certain facts and to be honest with yourself. If you truly believe your soulmate can change it’s time to put your foot down. Most people only change when they have to. So shouldn’t you make them HAVE TO?

Are you hanging in there because you believe they don’t have it in them? That’s just another excuse. No one person can make a healthy relationship all by themselves. Why should your soulmate put forth an effort if you’re doing it all? They won’t. It’s human nature. So make them contribute to balance the relationship.

How long do you have to be unhappy before you do something about it? Don’t you want and deserve to be happy? Why should you let your fear drive YOU? Shouldn’t you demand respect? Do you fear telling them how you deserve to be treated? Are you like that with everyone in your life or just with them?

If it’s just your soulmate you need to ask yourself why.

You’ve changed for the worse for someone who treats you worse than anyone else in your life does or has. Is that was a soulmate relationship is supposed to be?

Yes, all soulmate relationships have opportunities to learn lessons. But they do not have to be learned the hard way!!! Why is there such an acceptance in spiritual relationships that you have to go through hell? It’s simply not true. But is sure is an excuse that enables people to degrade themselves for their spiritual partner. It actually stunts growth.

What it all boils down to is that a little fear in a relationship is actually healthy for the relationship. When both parties have a natural fear of losing each other they respect the relationship and each other.

When you’re the only one with fear in the relationship, the fear grows. But so does the neglect and mistreatment. There may be a chance to get that healthy fear back into your relationship before it is too late. You owe it to yourself to find out if you have a chance, and how to go about making your relationship better.

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Originally posted on 06/02/2013 @ 11:12 am

145 thoughts on “Is Your Soulmate Afraid of Losing You? They Should Be”

  1. I love this im just aftaid to do it…i want him to fight for me like i am for him…he says he wants to be with me but when his ex is around he argues with her and he pay attention to her…he also ignores me when he feels like it i want consistency and for his actions to prove his words he says he wants to be with me then why wont he go all out for me?

    Reply
  2. I have been with my bf for almost 3 years. He went on vacation and went to a bar and met a girl from the place.( he admitted. This girl is looking for foreigners because of the groups she is at . She added him on his fb and now having luvy comments on his page. I dont think it is healthy and its disrespect on my end. We have a great relationship and tells me i do not have to worry. Do you think this is acceptable to just understand him just because he just went on vacation to have a good time?

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  3. My ex and I have been broken up since Sept but of course we are still seeing eachother once a week I feel like there is someone else but when I ask him he says there is absolutely no one. I’m tired of trying. Everytime I stopped contacting him he contacts me so it’s confusing. Maybe he doesn’t have anyone else Bc why would he still be reaching out. The only thing I’ve learned is to be strong even though I still love him gotta love yourself more what’s meant to be will always be .

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  4. Thankyouu for sharing this! when I was just 19 years Old he treated me like a princess ? but when I get pregnant and has 2 kids he changed a lot! He never respect me. He do talk bad about me , he always puts me down. He always tell me if I leave him no one will love me they will just used me and throw me. He keeps on telling me i am useless person. I don’t have the right to control or to talk or to complain about him.I It is time to conquer my fear! And to value myself , I shouldn’t let him mistreated me ..just because I’m afraid of losing him doesn’t mean he can do all the bad to me… I hope I will be better . And I hope I can find my self happy without him and without depression

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  5. I love my boyfriend so much and I know he loves me too but he’s tired of the relationship cuz I refused to have sex with him cuz I’m still a virgin. I’m scared he will cheat on me cuz he’s always complaining we’ve been dating for close to 5 months now. And he told me if I’m not ready to compromise he will still cheat on me. I don’t want him to do that how will I have him all to Myself without the sex

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  6. I am not a drama. I left the man I love 1 year ago. He is 59 and i am 56. He is my forth. Been threw it before. I passed away. 10 years i been with this man. But I see him when he wants me. But now I found a picture of a woman with phone no. He got angry at me. Then he told me he has it just in case he needs to talk to someone. I called her. And talked to her nicely. I don’t know if I did right. But I told her my hopes is for to go back to each other again. She was very nice. But it seems I am pushing him more away from me. And it hurts! I wish I was stronger and not see him anymore.

    Reply
    • Sorry I wanted to say this is my 4th man in my life. 2 cheated on me. The 3rd. Man in my life of 10 years passed away. Then I met this other man 4 years after. Was with him 10 years also. But I had to leave him. I still love him. And been seeing him when he needs me or want me. Now I found a picture of a woman with phone no. And I called her. She seems very nice. He got angry and told me he only has the number incase he needs to talk to someone. Its hurts me so much and I wish i can let go.

      Reply
  7. He said he loves me, he would do anything for me. I gave him my all I am empty I can love another only him now am sick and he is left me says he has issues to settle and planning life for us. What do I do?

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  8. what if he says you have to be on a break because he has a lot of problems to solve and he is scared to loose me…should I worry or not ???

    Reply
  9. I have known this guy since we were 15 we only started dating a few years ago off and on he argues with me about leaving or who I am with argues about us could of been married yells at me then apologizes this time I walked out of his life my last words were was leave me alone I just didn’t want his drama and now he’s asking about me to our friends and getting his family to text me get me to come visit he’s no longer mad they say I’m been doing good on my own yes I miss our talks and cuddles and time we spend together wen we do get along I can’t stand his jealousy and mean words then again he’s sweet guy wen we are together.

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  10. wow it’s like you are really referring to me right now…. tnks a thousand tyms you hv really added to my life…

    Reply
  11. Not on the blog. The advisors do not answer blog comments or give readings via blog comments. If you want a reading, contact them via their call buttons on their sites such as click4advisor

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  12. We have been together for 20 months, we don’t live together, I can count on one hand how many times I’ve stayed at his and visa versa. He doesn’t like it. We spend lots of time together but come 7pm he’s away home. He knows lots about me but I no little about him. I’ve been struggling this week with were are relationship is heading he knows this. says get loves me, I just think he’s very dodge around me.vwoulcnt leave his phone around me, I haven’t met any of his friends except one. We did take the kids (1 girl each to prior relationship) away for few nights camping over Xmas but I paid my own way. I called things off tonight with him. Mixed emotions so your article has helped me thank u

    Reply
  13. He cheated on me.than he cald the women n broke up with her. In frond of me.someday he went back and fixed things wth her. Das he love me or afraid of losing me.

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  14. He s not understanding me @all ..he s younger than me 1 nd half year it’s thg he s not understanding??i m confused about my relationship.. what to do .. pls help me

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    • If you want a reading, contact the advisors via click4advisor. Readings/Advice are not given via email, or blog comments.

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  15. What if you love him so badly that even after all the stuff he did to you, you cannot imagine your life without him? What if you know he dosnt care dosnt give a damn to your tears but your heart is just not ready to leave him?

    Reply
    • Then you should seek professional help, to help you accept reality, move on, and get your self esteem back. Best of luck to you 🙂

      Reply
  16. I don’t know what to do I’m seeing this guy he is my bestfriends stepbrother and he says he really likes me but he is not ready for a relationship he says that it’s not me that he doesn’t want a relationship with it would be the same thing if it was someone else and he likes what we are doing but I want a relationship with him I have never felt this way about anyone and when we talk about it all he says is that he does not want a relationship right now and it hurts but I like him so much I don’t know what to do. plz help.

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  17. Thank you so much. I have been deeply touched by this article. I fell in love with a man and over the past seven months I have allowed myself to be disrespected and have enabled. I finally had the courage to end it a month ago….But I still bump into him from time to time and even invited him to a concert last week. Why have I allowed my boundaries to be erased? I’m learning to find my voice again. Thank you for speaking truth.

    Reply
  18. I hope I can do all the things you mentioned here. I cried while reading this. It is really what is happening to me right now. I can’t understand why he treats me this way and yet I cant let go of him though I’m trying really hard to stop holding onto him.

    Reply
  19. Hmm very good I always come here to read this the problem with our relationship is he thinks I won’t ever leave and everytime he tells me to see him I always do I make it easy for him I broke up with him because he was doing things I did not like… … & I move out he’s texted me a few times but nothing about changing … He’s blaming me and saying I left this and that

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  20. my bf puts his mothet priority and he isnt willing to spend his 2 days off with me at all mondays is his day shopping with his mother even tho we have a 4 yr old son together

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  21. Readings/advice are not given via blog comments. The advisors can be reached via their click4advisor or Ether buttons.

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  22. Ma guy is no more thinking about me but he sometimes does things for me see dat he still luvs me but other times too he changes and I don’t know wat to do bcos am no more near where he is. But I luv him too. What should I do?

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  23. I needed to hear this. My boyfriend treats me so bad. He’s never touched me not once but he says things that he knows going to hurt me more then anything. And I’ve tried to say its over but it hurts me so bad that I just start to cry and tell him I could never do that. I love him more then anything but it hurts me more being with him then it to be with out him. He’s killing me slowly from the In side out with out even realizing it. I can’t even tell him how I really feel about it because he gets mad and will start fighing with me. He breaks up with me at least twice a month then comes back and says hes sorry and I take him back over and over because im afraid to be with out him. I just don’t know what to do anymore I’m tired of feeling this way.

    Reply
    • If you want things to change, then change what you do. Create change and stop waiting for it to magically happen, because it all starts with you.

      Reply
  24. I have my bf who posted that he has married and yet he has not and due to that he is now wanting us to break the relationship please help, coz me I don’t want

    Reply
  25. My boyfriend has broke up with me because we argue a bit. But I never thought he would be so brutal I’ve pleaded and said sorry and we’ve made up and been intimate after and he’s broke up with me again he says he doesn’t love me anymore yet before the argunent2 months ago it was him doing the running around. He won’t even contact me. Being apart has made me realise how much I love him. How do I get him back.

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  26. Found this very interesting, this man keeps acting like a yoyo when we have been together he acts very intrested then when I’ve left he is very unintrested dont know what to make of this

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  27. It takes time. Either stay stuck on the idiot or take your time to separate him. You can’t lose him, because you never HAD HIM. You need to lose HOPE because THERE IS NONE.

    Reply
  28. WOW..!! Exactly what I’m going through right now!! Thank you for how I really feel but I keep it all to myself with the fear of losing him! I’m 50yrs old and think I should just zip it and give up on happiness outside of my marriage, I know my husband isn’t happy neither. Just needed confirmation on what I need to do with what’s going on with us. Thank you for pointing out what I’ve been feeling for a while! Time to stop the madness!!

    Reply
  29. We both are in love since 4years . caste are different now he start to avoiding me because of his parents .. But I don’t want to break up wat shall I do now

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  30. Im still inlove with my ex boyfriend and it makes me to meditate about him everytime when am with my boyfriend,i spend most of the time trying to find ways on how to forget your but its hard for me to let go even now

    Reply
  31. I feel like my man is hiding, the truth, when I ask him where do I stand with him is there future betwwen us, he just ignore that question, we got 7 to 8 months dating and he is devorced Im always supportive and care and respect but sometimes I fell like im the only one compromising for the relationship we have ,sometimes he accused me for nothing and end up apologizing for the depression he cause for me

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  32. I have been dating this guy since Jan of this year. He says he wants to marry me one day but yet to take me out on a date one on one. I haven’t met his family and friends and they all or lovely but our relationship seems so distance some times. I need advice please

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    • Advice is not given via blog comments or email. If you wish to get advice/readings, please contact the advisor via their click4advisor buttons.

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  33. That was just what I needed to read. It was like this article was written at just the right time in my life. I am taking your advice and never looking back only forward I am worth it!!!! Thank you Wendy

    Reply
  34. So he took the initiative and told me he doeant care about me and that he was only with me for the kids.
    But yet in the night he calls me and iam not answering his calls. I told him that if thats what he want hes not going to change than he wont hear from me anymore. But yet still calls. I feel alone, maybe because i was used to him. I want him to see that hes not going to hurt me anymore what can i do to show him that.?

    Reply
  35. I have been with the father of my 2 kids for 5 yrs. He makes me cry and says am nobody to tell him anything, yet he does what ever he wants and doesn’t even let me get my hair or nails done with out him asking for pictures of where i really am. He breaks up with me then acouple of days later he calls…. am unhappy

    Reply
  36. thanks a lot I have really learnt a lot that am the one entertaining his bad manners for so long that he can’t get afraid of losing me..I will show him that I don’t care and am also ready to lose him

    Reply
  37. wow this just showed me something that I never thot of
    I’ve been so sweet to someone who’s doing me wrong and do it right in front of my face with a chick he got back with in my present
    ho can I act on this coz I love him but he only told me that once , he never said his happy whenever his with me but his always happy when ever I’m not around and his been silent the whole day I Shud always b the one who text him always

    I need to let him go. but where will I start please help I can’t stand this any longer please

    Reply
  38. Very insightful things i knew all alöng,though it was easier 2 turn a blind eye n believe things wud be ok.easier said than done bt will take into consideration the good advice that so make sense
    thanks

    Reply
  39. I’ve been married for almost two years and everything was fine until I got pregnant. Once we found out I was with child he started to inbox other women on Facebook as well as on dating websites. I’ve asked him numerous times to stop. He even was engaging with women that he used to date or sleep with. I’ve also asked him to stay off of Facebook for awhile until we get our marriage back on track. He agrees and then is back on it the next day. I want to be with him because I want a family for my baby but I can’t help but to think my marriage is over.

    Reply
  40. I love him more than nethn and we have a distance rship which makes than. He doesn’t seem to care anymore instead he decided overnight he wants to enjoy life and be young. I feel like I would literally die without him. Y does life have to be so hard

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  41. I love this reading, ineed to keep reading this everyday. Makes me stronger. I’m in a situation where i feel like my boyfriend isnt scared to lose me anymore cause he knows i’ll be around him no matter how stupid or bad he did to me. There’s no more mutual respect or i dont feel valued anymore. He is an alcoholic yet he knows im coming back to him when he gets sober, so in a span of a week he can just disappear to me and say nothing. In my side im going crazy.

    Reply
    • The advisors do not offer advice or personal help via blog comments. The articles were written to help everyone, but for personal advice you must consult them for a reading.

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  42. Hi there I really need good advice, I have been in a relationship for 3 and a half year I have a 18month old with my partner but ever since she’s been born it’s been going down hill,
    He causes fights and goes out a lot at weekends while I am in with the kids he disrespects me calls me hurtful names laughs at me makes me feel useless why can’t I just walk away?

    Reply
    • Perhaps you should seek a therapist or counselor to answer that question? No one should allow such mistreatment, especially with a child around.

      Reply
      • am finding it hard to walk away iam always hoping things will go back to the way they were and wee will get back on track? ?

      • The way they were was a lie. Accept reality, don’t hold on to lies or fantasy.

  43. I think am in a dead end relationship ?Wee have a beautiful 18month old together but that doesn’t seem enough for him to stop disrespecting me going out every other weekend and leaving me and kids…
    I just need some help or advice.

    Reply
    • The article does give help and advice. It is up to you to take it. If you don’t want to do what needs to be done, which is take a stand, then just keep letting it get worse and worse until you have the guts to. It may be too late to undo the damage by then, but that is the price you pay for allowing this behavior.

      Reply
  44. Eveything you have said is me now it’s the situation I’m in now it’s so painful he continues to hurt me but I am going to for the last time walk away I have already made the first move which is I stopped him from seeing me it’s been over a week since we seen each other and we used to see each other every single day, but now I’m must walk I want him in my life for ever and he has decided for the 50th time he wants me and loves me but only wants me as his very best friend so he dosnt feel guilty if he talks to another woman but as friends this is not going to work as it increases my pain and puts me further into a depression so I will update you
    My one wish is that he comes running back and we live happier ever after but I won’t know until I walk away and if he never comes running back then he never did love me now I loved him thank you for the information it was like reading my very own story

    Reply
  45. After reading this I had a reality check at 43yrs old. My guy ,38, that’s besides my point. I just want cry be on a planet by myself.

    Reply
  46. will he come back if i leave him he is always choosing his friends over me and the kids and acts like he is never wrong

    Reply
  47. I loved this article. It’s exactly what i needed to know. So now all there’s to do is the work. I’ve made alot of mistakes already.walking away has always been a hard part for me. I want better now so i have to do better. Thank you for these words.

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  48. Thanks for posting, I’m going through the same thing. I’m trying my best to keep the door close for good this time. I love this man but he doesn’t love me and only comes back when things fail between him and the person that he really wants….I’m learning to love my self more.

    Reply
  49. my husband does not defend me at all unless its convenient for him .I love him but im tired of being treated like crap.

    Reply
  50. This really made me think and honestly while it hurts I know I have to be strong and figure out whether its worth it or not. I’ve been with him for 5 years and he seems like he truly hates me to where I question if he ever loved me or if I’m just being used. we have a family and I just don’t want all of that to have been in vain. I just want to know is it worth it to try to make him afraid of losing me or will it jut be a waste of effort???

    Reply
  51. The advisors do not give advice or readings etc in blog comments or via email. If you would like a reading, contact the advisors via click4advisor

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  52. I need help I the one who is so afraid of losing him. I love him so much and it’s hard to believe I mean nothing to him. I have been living with him for 2 years and in the beginning it was great but after just 3 months I was replace with someone eles . His mother.. now I feel un unappropriate under valued, and most importantly not afraid of losing me. I feel like all my love and time spent with him has meant nothing to him. And that is theosteoporosis painful feeling in the world. I would just like to know how he really feels.

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  53. My situation may or may not be as bad as some think. it directly effects me as a person. My husband and I are both active duty military. we were together hardly 4months an di got pregnant. we married out of bliss for the child. today we have been married just over a year. My issue is this, I am a compassionate woman, I find joy in other people and animals, if I helped ANYTHING today I will feel accomplished, I will feel a self-worth. he on the other hand is anti-social, doesn’t have a anything that makes him better. recently my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, me being the person I am .. I rushed home with my daughter. now in the military we only have so much leave available to us. My husband and I planned to go home a few months after this tragedy hit us. me taking this leave cause “our” leave to change. He still throws it in my face that I ruined his leave. HIS leave. yesterday I found out a near and dear friend had passed away, I am across the country from this, I am devastated… my husband comes home turns on the PlayStation tells me to go get dinner.. after crying most of the day I didn’t want to leave the house so I told suggested he go, knowing the pain I am in he looked at me and went into the kitchen made himself something to eat and continued playing the game.
    This is just a few things he has done that are inconsiderate. he belittles me if I simply leave an outfit on the ground.. he threatens divorce often. if I come to him sad about his actions he ignore the fat I said anything at all. or blames me for him reacting that way. The other day we pulled into the parking lot of a store.. he gets out and hits the car next to him with our door. I looked at him and he says “well your the one who parked to close” now is he really blaming me for his PHYSICAL actions??? I don’t understand?

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  54. I was with my guy for ten years and we have two kids. I’ve always been there and loved him with all my heart. He started pushing me away and talking about a break. I gave him his break thinking it would only make us stronger only to find out he moved out to move in with a girl he knocked up. Killed me and hurt my kids. Anyways I’m really still in love with him and he comes around telling my we will work out and everything will be okay. He sleeps with me and then runs home to her and their son. I’m not happy I’m hurt and feel so used and thrown to the side like I was nothing. I want him to come back and be a family again but I feel he pulls me along. I’m so scared to lose him all together to a girl who knew about his family and does nothing for a living.

    Reply
  55. My problem with my boyfriend is so exhausting….
    Too big to comment on this page…reluctantly….I have decided to give up…
    I am in tears as I type this…
    I have lost all hope…
    I have given up…
    on him…
    On us…

    Reply
  56. I am in love with this post. I’ve had my share of broken relationships and I’ve learnt through them and now I am seeing this man that just started to act weird. He will pull away for couple of days and just come back, and at first I thought it is enough to just be natural and act indifferent but then he did it three times now that it annoys me. I wanted to act back and I was a bit worried because I really like him and I wish he feels the same. Now I am sure I will just sit aside and just ignore him for couple of days. I can’t handle such behaviour anymore and I think I shouldn’t in the beginning but I thought of his excuses and I decided to be “cool” .. thanks a lot for this insight!

    Reply
  57. The advisors do not give readings/advice in blog comments or via email. If you wish to speak to an advisor, contact them via their ether.com or click4advisor.com buttons.

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  58. My boyfriend is a workaholic, he doesn’t seem to be scared to lose me to some other guy. He even say he is married to his work and I may have to suffer if going with him,

    Th thing is when he has time for me, we bond together, sing karaoke with friends and amazing hot u sex. I thought we had a thing. Maybe I am wrong. I need urgent advice how to go on

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    • If you need advice please contact the advisors via their click4advisor or Ether.com buttons. The advisors do not do email readings/give advice on blog comments or via email.

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  59. I have two children and one on the way with children s father i made the decision to leave i wasnt respected i did everything i could to make my best friend love me treat me the way i should be treated i treated this man as if he was my husband ans he repeatedly told me i would never be his wife it hurts im living with my parents now i have no job i go to doctor appointment alone he doesn’t seem to care at all that i left that im even pregnant im miserable 9 years i put into this relationship

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  60. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 11 months. Everything was going fine. He did cheat in the beginning & I forgave him. Now he’s saying that he doesn’t know what he wants because he wants to be single again because his uncle just got a divorce and is out having fun. We did fight all the time and now we’re on a break. Do you think I should just break up with him or give the break some time too see if it makes him realize what he has in front of him???

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  61. I have been going through something really hard with someone. I just ended it last night but it doesn’t feel good at all. At first he was really sweet and wanted to spend a lot of time with me. He would come over and just hang out and we would do homework together. I finally told him I liked him and he felt the same way. He said he wanted to see if we had a future and he wanted to progress. Before this he was being hot and cold with me whenever it was convenient for him. He would want to hang out with me all the time one minute and talk, and then next he would continuously ignore me and treat me like crap. He said he respected me and that he thought we were close. But then he would become really distant. I have never been in a situation like this and it makes me feel really awful. I have always been the type of girl to just cut it off and let go, but for some reason I keep holding on to something that makes me still want him even though I ended it. And then when I did end it, he acted like he didn’t care at all. I don’t really know how to feel at this point.

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  62. My boyfriend and I have a 18 month old daughter he now sleeps im the livingroom I sleep in in bedroom , he gets mad when I bringnup our relationship, oi left for a week he had no idea were in was what I was doing, when I came home to get more clothes he begged me to stay balling of course it was good for a month or two but back! To the way he was I don’t do nothing he does everything he takes !y money he makes !e feel everything is my fault then makes me cry then he is sorry idk I wanna walk out but if he is willing to change I! Good

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  63. To get a reading or advice contact the advisors via click4advisor or Ether. They do not do readings via blog comment or email.

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  64. It’s a different story when your financially tied to this person and don’t have means to leave or take care or yourself.

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  65. This is whats happening me the last 3years he ends the relationship and then i keep contacting him till i decide to move on and when i do he comes back i give the threats in saying youve lost me but i dont even get a reply how can i ever make this change and make it stop he was begging for chances and i gave it and he dumps me again for no reasom

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  66. I started talking to this guy hes real sweet hes open we can talk about anything..idk its me ive been used so much that I cant really trust things he tells me..like if I call him he wont even bother to call me back and then ill text him the next day and he will come up with an excuse..he tells me hes always busy..I dont know what to do please help

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  67. I wish I would’ve seen this long ago. My fiance had been putting off marrying me for two years and always pa himself first. Every time I try to being up my feelings he gets mad and says “that’s not how you feel, you just WANT to feel that way”. I know he loves me, but I feel that he’s just so afraid of growing up that he puts himself as the victim and his personality has reverted into that of a slimed child.

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  68. Woah I would’ve seen this long ago… Have two kids with him and he’s been putting off marrying me for two years.. Ever since our first was born he’s been greedy in our relationship and puts himself before me. Every time I bring up how I feel he says “you don’t feel that way, you just WANT to feel that way”. I know he does love me but he just puts himself as the victim all the time and is so afraid of growing up that his personality had reverted into that of a spoiled child.

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  69. the guy im with has talked to another girl once so I left him but we “worked things out” and ever since ive been with him he always talks atleast 1hr to 6 hrs to text back and he never answer my phone calls idk what to do to make him realize that I cant deal with this foreal.

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  70. We are unable to provide personal guidance here on the comments, please call us for a soulmate reading for confidential insight into your personal situation.

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  71. Ok. My issue is a little similar. I am in a long distance relationship. We carry on as if we are in a relationship until I express that she has done something that I don’t like or she feels that I’m disappointed in her. Then she would say things like this feels like we are in a committed relationship. My issue is I feel that she takes my feelings for granted until she feels that I’m giving up then she shows the appropriate interested. I know she loves me but, I feel that I have given her too much of me and she does not feel it necessary to be very expressive to me. How can I help her to see what she truly would be losing.
    I love her so much.

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  72. Well he acts totally different since I had my daughter . He barely calls , we use to talk everyday. I’ve found out that he talk to other females and spends time with them but he isn’t trying to make his family work. We been together for 4 years and yes I’ve done some messed up things whole we was together but since I got pregnant and had my daughter all I focused on was having the three of us happy and together. But I ask him would he like to just Co parent and break up but all he claims is that he wants his family and he loves me and that we are together but it’s not the same . All he focuses on is his self , work, coworkers, and the females he mess with. I just want my daughter to have. Father something I never had

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  73. After I had my daughter I found out he had been talking to other females .I accepted it and let it go [well I tried to let it go] because out of the 4 years we been together I have talked to other guys but since I was pregnant , had her and till this day I don’t talk to anyone .I focus on making my family right. He rarely calls but he’s on the phone with everyone but me . All he focus on is his job, coworkers, females he talk to, and himself. I ask him would he like to Co parent and break up buy he tells me he loves me , he wants his family, and he wants to be with me. He A rather spend time with these other females than to spend time with his family. I just want the three of us together and happy and I want my daughter to have two parent home because that’s something I never had

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    • We are unable to provide personal guidance here on the comments, please call us for a soulmate reading for confidential insight into your personal situation.

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  74. Seems like he is very controlled and controlling and if he truly did care for you he would not treat you this way at all! If you need advice please call us for a private reading.

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  75. My ex bf broke up with me a month a go now, at first I was all needy and tried my hardest to get him back but he just didn’t want any of it then and also mentioned he had feelings for his co worker. He would then go out to dinners with her and he would say to me that their only friends.
    But I found out one week that he is stuck in the middle of both of us and I did tell him that I can’t be in this love triangle I’ve got to go. He starts calling me off his phone and his mothers phone constantly and then would send a message about me not being their for him when he needs me just to get my attention and I gave in and thinking he only wants me to actually have that fall back in my face when he rings up and says he’s had a shitty day he’s going out to the movies and I knew it was with her. Theirs just so much I can take, I keep telling him that I’m slipping further and further away from him and it’s sad that he actually doesn’t realise.
    I’ve just had enough of being second best, im not an option.

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  76. we can’t give personal detailed advice about these situations on our comments section due to confidentiality issues. Please arrange for a call for proper advice for this situation. this is common though, when you start to care about them they very often shut down and pull away.

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      • we can not give advice in an open forum due to confidentiality issues. If you would like personal advice please arrange for a reading with us.

    • i need to ask something about my relation. the guy i am dating with loves me alot but dont respect me. ALways stop talking rudely without any reason just because he says i want good ansers from you, i want you to cheer me up but if i dont or i dont understand the story behind his “rude behavior” he yells at me or show his anger by telling i should have done anything, i always do because i want something from you. Even though when he is with his friends he dont text me because he doesnt want his friends to know about me.. but on the other side no matter what i am doing i always reply him. He loves me more then anything but doesnt do anything what i say, like shaving or wearing something i want him to wear. there is more too but for now i guess it is alot.

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      • We do not give advice or readings via email or blog comments due to privacy issues and time restraints. If you feel you need a reading, then get one via click4advisor.

  77. My marriage is just like that. He will treat me badly and then threatens me he is going to leave and this last time I didn’t try to stop him. I’m miserable and unhappy and he is the most selfish man I have ever met In my life. I try so hard to do what I think makes him happy and it’s never enough no matter what I do. I’m just tired of being the only one trying. I am at the point where I want him to go but I can’t seem to tell him that. I don’t wanna go through splitting everything up again and plus I made a promise when I got married and I’m tryin to hold myself to it. I’m just lost. I don’t know what to do anymore.

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    • thing is if he is not willing to work on it, he just wont change. yo have to ultimately be responsible for your happiness.. blessings

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    • Yeah this is pretty much my life in a nutshell. I’m very unnhappy Thanks! I feel the exact way you do…

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    • I’m in the same situation. I’m actually crying now downstairs while he’s sleeping fine, after telling me I’m not welcome here anymore- it’s his birthday and I had presents and breakfast made this morning- but tonight we started fighting- by that I mean him getting defensive about nothing then telling me he wished he’d never met me and I’m the reason for all his problems. I’m a terrible mother … Etc the whole fight its me defending my love for him! My devotion – him yelling and telling me he’s in a “bad place” with his stress levels- while this year he’s given me an std.. Five family members have died. Plus my dad just has been diagnosed with cancer..
      I’ve given every cent I’ve made since he said I didn’t “contribute” I ask for a hug and for him to be nice to me-then he yells about me being “unstable” after he’s thrown things and flipped out- why do I love this horrible person!?????? I’m losing weight and hair- not in a pretty way. Plus dealing with this std– that he won’t admit to giving me…. Yet I’ve caught him on multiple dating sites receipts for condoms… Etc . I get yelled at for “assuming things”. . Yet he’s in a ” ” “bad place”

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    • yup we have the same situation i want him to pay respect on me. he has ni job and i am the one is working while he takes good care of our baby.everytime i am late from work he always scolds me and accusing me tht i have an affair with someone else and telling me disrespectful words. he smoked and dribk liqour everynyt. instead of talking to me after i go to work he prefer to drink beer with himself! we have house near ib the place and when we have a figth he always said g?o away in this house go back to ur mother. hi mistreated me like that knowing that i was the ine who provided him the food and everthing does my child need while him no work he drinks liqour and smoke. i want to leave him but i am afraid because i dont want a broken family..

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  78. Have a question, do you answer emails? I would like to send you a detailed email but I don’t want it posted on the site.

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    • we are not able to give personal advice via email. We dont do readings via email either. The only way we give advice is using either Click4Advisor or Ether through phone calls.

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    • My boyfriend I’m living with still keeps his ex girlfriends cell number in his phone and tells me when she texts him, does that mean he is seeing her behind my back??

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      • The advisors do not give advice or readings via email or this blog. If you want a reading, contact them via click4advisor.

  79. Yes this is happening to me. I fear of losing him and another taking my place and going on trips that we have been on. I worry about stuff I can’t control. He flirts really nasty on facebook with other women and I have told him I don’t appreciate it, and instead of stopping, he thinks he is hiding his comments by not going to his page that often, but I still see comments he make. I tell him don’t tell me he is going to call me back, and then don’t because that irritates me, and he still does it. If I speak on these and other concerns, he only makes it worst by doing doing it more. forgot to mention, he is married.

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  80. Yes this is happening to me. I fear of losing him and another taking my place and going on trips that we have been on. I worry about stuff I can’t control. He flirts really nasty on facebook with other women and I have told him I don’t appreciate it, and instead of stopping, he thinks he is hiding his comments by not going to his page that often, but I still see comments he make. I tell him don’t tell me he is going to call me back, and then don’t because that irritates me, and he still does it. If I speak on these and other concerns, he only makes it worst by doing doing it more.

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  81. Awww… I should have read this last year… I’ve been wanting to do the first step of breaking up with him but everytime I try to, I pitty him. I know he loves me but he doesn’t seem to be respecting me. Our relationship has been so toxic for me. All I want is for him to speak up but he’s doing the other way around. Until I decided that I’ll just wait for him to break up with me first but when it happened, it hurts to the bone. It was so hard for me to move on because we always see each other almost everyday and it’s killing me whenever I see him happy with the other girls…

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    • best thing to do is to put this guy behind you since he clearly seems to lack respect for you and the relatioship you shared

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  82. this is really helpful… I find it to be talking to me because i’m in the situation i feel that he has lost respect for me… He is dating this girl publicly and yet he is screwing me…. It has just made me find my inner self though i am so hurt at the moment and i feel so used… Like i can delete times that we were ever together from my lifetime amd just forget that we used to be…

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    • the best thing for you to do is stop seeing him and allowing him to use you. it is the only way you can regain your respect.

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    • I’m in the same situation he can’t see life with out me in it with him but he on FB with this check he go see her and home to me and do all couples do but says he wanna take it slow with me but he don’t know where his heart Is but loves me too death and just talks shit about this other female to no end and always saying he done with her it’s a lost case with her.i don’t Know what to do

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