Does your soulmate’s ex cause drama and obstacles in your relationship? Many soulmates meet when they’re in relationships with someone else, surprisingly enough.
The current relationship, or relationships if both are involved when they meet, can cause delays in forming their soulmate union. The longer it takes to end a current relationship can cause a major rift between soulmates.
The stress, despair and damage it can do to the soulmate relationship can be excruciating. And it can create bad behavioral patterns between them.
THE EX IS NOT TRULY AND EX
In the beginning, when you first meet, your soulmate’s ex is not their ex. And you pray for the day they will finally end this relationship they constantly complain about. They seem so miserable by the things they tell you, you figure it will happen in the near future. It makes sense, right?
Why would someone stay in a miserable relationship when they can be blissfully happy with their soulmate? With this line of logic, you decide to hang in there an wait. They come up with an excuse and ask for more time.
So you wait.
And you wait. You go from angry to sad and back again to angry. What are they waiting for? Yet your soulmate, again, asks for more time.
And since you’ve waited so long, and built up resentment, you direct it at your soulmate’s current partner. Why are they keeping you two apart? Your soulmate tells you horrible things about them.
You feel bad for your soulmate and believe their excuses and fears about their current partner. So you agree to wait some more. You hope your soulmate finds the courage to leave the dead-end relationship that’s the root of their unhappiness.
Now here comes your frustration. Why do they stay with someone who makes them unhappy? They could be with you instead! What hold does this person have over them that causes them to stay? You may even begin to feel you’ll never be together. And you fear you will have to move on, giving up on this soulmate relationship completely.
YOUR SOULMATE FINALLY ENDS IT BUT…
The day finally comes and your soulmate tells you their other relationship is over. Oh happy day!! Finally, the day you have been waiting for! Now you have your chance at happiness. But now you must deal with an ex who could make the break-up or divorce very challenging and contentious. And you must be careful not to let that stress affect your relationship with your soulmate.
The relationship with their ex, if toxic, can mean toxic relationship baggage will be coming into your relationship. A soulmate connection won’t stop bad behavior from a previous relationship from creeping in to yours. At first, you’re so thrilled you’re together but you don’t nip bad behavior right away.
This is a huge mistake. The longer you let it continue, the harder it will be to get rid of it in the future. You must use special care that the relationship with your soulmate does not become as dysfunctional as the one with their ex. The ex may also try to turn your soulmate’s children, friends or family against you. So be careful not to sink to their level, which will only make you look bad. It may take time for the ex to focus their energy elsewhere, but try to ride it out.
Their ex will not want you to be happy together.
They may do everything and anything to cause friction between you. Your soulmate needs to understand their isn’t their problem to deal with alone. If the ex isn’t bothering you let your soulmate handle it. But if they cause them to negatively affect your life in any real way, you should have some input. It may be their ex, but if they’re your problem too, you should both have a say in how things are handled moving forward.
Since your soulmate couldn’t handle their ex during the relationship why do they think they can handle them now? They can’t. So work together as a team in dealing with the ex. Otherwise you’re both playing right into their hands.
Every fight you have about an ex is victory for them. Remember that. Since they’re a part of the past, they need to stay in the past. They blew their chance and now it’s your chance. No ex should have any control of your daily lives. So you both need to let go of of that past.
You need to drop your resentment and hatred and live your lives. And so does your soulmate. This person has wasted enough of your valuable time. Focus on the two of you, and things will turn out just fine.
THE GAMES EX’S PLAY
Many times an ex doesn’t want to let go of your soulmate. They don’t want you to be happy in romantic union. It doesn’t matter how long they’ve been apart or even if they have a new relationship. For whatever reason, they want your soulmate to end things with you.
Sometimes an ex may believe your soulmate is actually their soulmate. But sometimes they just don’t want you to have them. And the ex certainly doesn’t want them to find a greater happiness with you. They just want to ruin your chance to find happiness with their ex.
Since they’re not happy, they don’t want you to be happy with their ex. So they always leave an open door for your soulmate to return. This can cause a major problem and create all kinds of difficulties, especially trust and insecurity issues.
You may worry your soulmate will return to their ex.
And because of that worry you let things slide. Actually, you let too many things slide. The fear of your soulmate going back to an ex will create a dynamic in your relationship that will be very difficult to change down the road.
You won’t create healthy boundaries because you’re afraid to do so. And without healthy boundaries, you can’t have a healthy relationship.
When a couple gets together, they create their roles and rules in the relationship. If your fear of your soulmate returning to their ex keeps you from creating and enforcing healthy boundaries, you will wind up in a dysfunctional soulmate relationship.
The strength of love propels a relationship forward. But the weakness of fear destroys the ability to create a solid foundation for a relationship. If you’re coming from a place of fear, what you fear most, the end of the relationship, will most likely come to pass. You must keep your faith in your soulmate and the relationship.
Sometimes the fear of your soulmate returning to their ex becomes a reality. Your soulmate may not be ready to embrace your connection and learn their lessons. So they may develop an on/off relationship with both you and their ex.
Things are going great between the two of you and then out of nowhere your soulmate starts acting weird. You feel a strange distance developing between the two of you. There’s a nagging feeling they may be in communication with their ex. You ask them what’s wrong and they tell you everything is fine. But you know better.
Then *poof*, your soulmate is out of your life and back with their ex. And this will be devastating to you. You worry they’ll never come back. You wonder what kind of power the ex has over them that makes it impossible to let go and move on with you.
Believe us, the ex has zero power.
You don’t either. Your soulmate has all the power and is using it against the both of you. They want you in their life, but aren’t stepping up to the plate. So you keep focusing on their ex, instead of your soulmate’s games and manipulation.
You may blame the ex. Don’t. Your soulmate is to blame. They are not the victim. You are their victim. Both you and the ex want them exclusively, and want the on/off relationship nonsense to stop. Neither of you is getting what you want. Only your soulmate is, they are in control, because both of you gave them control.
This cycle of insanity has to come to a close. An ex needs to stay in the past. And your soulmate needs to move forward with you into the future. The only way it will change is when someone finally puts their foot down. Unfortunately that person may need to be you. This is where you need to enforce boundaries within your relationship. Your soulmate needs to realize you will no longer be the victim in this on / off relationship game.
Originally posted on 05/12/2015 @ 10:00 am