Does your soulmate play the victim all the time? We all play the victim at one point or another. But does your soulmate have a victim mentality? Do you always have to apologize because you are blamed for everything? Are you tired of defending yourself because you can’t seem to do what’s right? If your soulmate is playing the victim too often, you may need to point it out to them. You may also need to change the way you react and respond when they go into victim mode.
For instance, your soulmate continually makes excuses for their poor choices or mistakes. People who play the victim don’t like to accept personal responsibility for anything. It’s always the fault of someone else, something else or something beyond their control. They simply don’t want to say “I screwed up”. When your soulmate does this, stop accepting their excuses.
Let’s say your soulmate is late for a date. If their excuse is that there was an accident on the freeway, don’t just shrug it off. Instead, say “Well, we have all been caught in traffic sometimes.” You’re at least letting them know this isn’t about THEM. Casually mention that the lesson learned here is to allow extra time. If they don’t like it, who cares. You’re simply stating fact.
If your soulmate is constantly telling you about all the people who have done them wrong, don’t act overly sympathetic. Don’t feed into it. Why? Eventually you’ll join the ranks with those people. Keep in mind you’re also missing the other half of the story. While there may be a slim chance that many people are mistreating them, more than likely they have played their part in all of it.
Start turning the conversation to what they have learned from this experience. Point out that since this seems to happen so often they need to ensure it doesn’t keep happening. Ask them what they can do and what’s in their power to take control of the situation. This at least brings the focus back on them taking some responsibility. And you’re not feeding their victim mentality.
BUT IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT
If your soulmate keeps pointing out over and over all that you have done wrong, because they hold grudges, put a stop to that too. Let them know that if you have forgiven them for their wrongs, it’s time they let yours go to. If they don’t, they’re holding your relationship back. Put the responsibility for that back on them.
If you know you have done all you can to apologize, yet they won’t let it go, tell them they may need professional help if the relationship is to continue. Tell them at this point it’s out of your control. You have done all you can, and although you wish you could help them, you can’t. They won’t like this at all. But it will be a huge step in teaching them that you’re no longer going to be the bad guy all the time.
Remember, even soulmates can try to put the blame on you, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Don’t let them always play the victim at your expense.