Letting go of a soulmate relationship is easier said than done. When it comes to soulmate relationships, instead of letting go, people usually obsess and dwell on their soulmate. It’s understandable that when a break-up first occurs, people feel they should hold on. And hope there’s still a chance to work things out. Why waste time letting go because they hope to get back together anyway. That makes sense in a way. But if many months, or years, without any communication has gone by, the excuse for not letting go disappears.
LETTING GO OF A SOULMATE IS CHALLENGING
When a relationship ends dwelling and obsessing actually keeps the relationship going in a way. It may be all in their head or heart, but day to day thoughts and feelings of a soulmate is a weird relationship. Especially since it’s with someone who’s clearly out of the picture. When you fail to let go and instead put your time, energy and effort into them, you’re focusing on their life. And not focusing on your own. Finding out what they’re doing with their lives, if they are dating or in a relationship, what they do in the evenings, checking their social media, enables you to be a voyeur into their life. Realistically you’re not longer part of their life. But you’ve made them a part of yours by watching them like you would a soap opera. And you’re invested in what is going on in their world.
Letting go does not mean giving up forever. It’s simply acknowledging that life does go on. And you must live that life without your soulmate in it. And you can. Take it one day at a time. Sure it’s hard, but you’re making it harder on yourself by not letting go. If it were up to you they’d be back in your life right now. But it’s not up to you. It’s up to them. And that’s where free will comes in.
DO YOU WANT JOY OR MISERY?
You can sit and wait for them to come back and be miserable. Or you can use that same time to find some joy in life. All the time you spend thinking, worrying, crying and playing detective would be better served doing something you enjoy. Because you’re getting no joy focusing on them, are you?
The people who are having a hard time letting go, or choosing not to let go, seem to be unhappy folks. Why be one of them? Every day it will get a little bit better and easier. So start today with the first steps of moving forward. When thoughts of them come into your head, don’t dwell on them. But try and push them out by thinking of something else. Add some enjoyable activities to your life to keep your mind busy. Or find some challenging activities that require your full attention. Make it all about YOU, not all about THEM.
WHAT MESSAGE AM IS SENDING BY LETTING GO?
Some people tell us that by letting go they’re sending a message to the universe they no longer want their soulmate in their lives. This is not true. But you are putting out that you realize you have no control over the situation. And you’re leaving the power where it lies, outside yourself. Replace your romantic idealism over the situation with reality. Why sit there and tell everyone you can’t find a way of letting go because your soulmate was so funny, cute, charming or whatever. You only concentrate on the good. The bad stuff caused the break-up, not the good stuff. Stop playing up their good side, and face their bad side. You can’t go back in time and do things differently. Nor can you go back in time and change what they do. It happened, and you must deal with it.
You’re already without your soulmate and surviving. So you should know you can be OK without them. You may not want to, but you can. But look at how you’re surviving. Isn’t there a better way? Even if your soulmate comes back, do you think they’ll appreciate or feel bad for what you went through? Not really. So why are you doing this to yourself? They would actually be more impressed, and respect you a lot more, if you’re stronger and more empowered. And this could be your soulmate lesson.
ACCEPTANCE COMES FIRST
To let go you have to first accept that your life, right now, is without them. If your soulmate returns, or not, is not up to you. Your soulmate really holds all the cards. When you get past that, you can begin to focus on what you can control vs. what you can’t . And you’ll feel stronger, as opposed to weaker. When people avoid letting go, they feel less and less powerful. And it’s a vicious cycle. Start filling up the time you would spend with your soulmate. Replacing them in your life is a great way to begin letting go. Start the process of letting go, and allow yourself to find happiness again in your life.