Valentine’s Day without a soulmate can make many people feel depressed, especially if they have been single for a while or have recently ended a relationship. They see happy couples all around them, ads for Valentine gifts all over the media, and wonder why they are spending Valentine’s Day without a soulmate. They wonder how many more Valentine’s Days will pass before a soulmate enters their life and they no longer spend Valentine’s Day alone.
It can be both frustrating and depressing. You have gotten your career on track, taken good care of yourself, have your finances in order and feel the only thing missing in your life is a stable soulmate relationship. Well where the hell are they? What is taking so long? Did they get lost?
As we have discussed numerous times, soulmate relationships are not just about romance, but learning life lessons and growing as individuals as well as a couple. You may believe 1000% the time is right to meet your soulmate but the universe may not. Being unable to control if and when your soulmate shows up is a hard pill to swallow. People do not like waiting in general, especially when we feel we are ready to go. When a soulmate does not show up for you, you feel as if the universe is abandoning or ignoring you. Some people wind up very angry and bitter about it and end up being angry and God or the Universe.
It doesn’t seem fair and you don’t think its fair. You see the commercials of blissful couples celebrating Valentine’s Day together and want to smash the television to pieces. The stores have been flooded, in many cases, since the day after Christmas advertising red, white and pink goodies for their loved ones. Even go to the grocery shopping is not a safe haven for your emotions as their entrances are flooded with Valentine’s Day goodies, flowers and stuffed animals. There seems to be no escape.
All of this over the top, in your face, Valentine’s Day over-commercialism, makes many people feel like they are a loser, not good enough or being punished in some way. The way to deal with all of this nonsense is by putting it into perspective. First of all, the universe doesn’t create soulmate connections for the sake of Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day was created in Victorian times, not by the universe, so it really is not their concern. The universe is also not here to be Cupid and just put together blissfully happy couples. That’s not really their job.
Soulmate relationships are usually tumultuous, and in many ways a series of tests. These tests are HARD. And if/until both soulmates pass them, there is a lot of drama and a lot less romance. You have to earn the happily every after. Valentine’s Day is often referred to as a retail holiday which has nothing to do with a spiritual connection. Remember it only lasts for 24-hours, and most of the people receiving Valentine’s Day tokens, gifts or flowers from their ‘loved ones’ are doing so out of obligation, threats, and the over-commercialization of a day that Hallmark rakes in the $$$- cha-ching!!!
For soulmates that get it right, every day is Valentine’s Day. Don’t lose hope, just don’t focus on the Valentine’s Day you may be spending alone, because there is always next year. Keep your chin up and keep the faith that one day you will be with your soulmate on Valentine’s Day! These years, do something to special for yourself and celebrate YOU!
Leaving a bad soulmate relationship is something many people are unwilling to do. They feel they would rather stay in a bad soulmate relationship, refusing to leave, in the hopes it will get better. Leaving their soulmate is out of the question for many people. What if leaving a bad soulmate relationship is the only way to save it? What if leaving is the right thing to do or the only thing to do to create positive change?
This may seem like a foreign concept to many people. How can leaving a bad soulmate relationship actually be a positive thing? The answer is easy. Many people are afraid of leaving a bad relationship because they feel that leaving is final. They may let someone break up with them 400 times and let them back 400 times but they don’t think someone would let them back or want them back. If you ask us, that’s pretty ridiculous.
If you wind up leaving a bad soulmate relationship because your soulmate won’t get with the program, how is it your fault you left? Are you implying your soulmate is too stupid to know their behavior wasn’t pushing you away and that eventually you might leave? Your soulmate isn’t that stupid, they know they deserve to have you leave them.
The truth of the matter is you don’t believe your soulmate will care if you wind up leaving. You are insecure. You believe they will be happy without you and move on quickly to someone else. That alone is enough of a reason to leave. Why on earth would you stay in a relationship that makes you feel that way? How could you be that stupid to think you will stay together if your soulmate doesn’t care if you end it?
The longer you stay, the less attractive you will become to your soulmate. When you allow someone to treat you badly, it doesn’t make them respect you. It doesn’t prove your love for them. It makes them see you as their victim, as insecure, and someone they cannot take seriously. Their treatment of you will only get worse.
You may think if you stay instead of leaving a bad soulmate relationship, they may wake up one day and realize how important you are to them. Well, how many days have you given them already to test your theory? What are you going to do to wake them up?
Sometimes leaving a bad soulmate relationship can remind someone how much they need you. Leaving doesn’t always mean you have to end the relationship. You can physically leave, by being less affectionate. You can emotionally withdraw as a way of leaving. You can focus more on yourself and stop making the relationship and your soulmate’s nonsense a priority. Withdrawing or pulling back your attention can be an effective way of leaving. It could be as simple as not initiating contact, or begging to see them, or complaining about not spending enough time together.
At some point, leaving a bad soulmate relationship could be the best thing that happens to you as a couple. Sometimes it is the lesson your soulmate needs to learn to move forward in a more positive and healthy way. You will learn from this experience as well.
Soulmates don’t grow on trees. Of course most people would like to meet their soulmate, but many don’t understand soulmates are not exactly easy to find. First of all, they are not everywhere, you can’t just go pick one up at your local Walmart. Your soulmate is one grain of sand on a huge beach, so of course, if you decide to put your energy into finding yours, it could take a while.
The universe created a soulmate for you, and will, of course, create the time and place for you to get together and begin your journey. Finding a soulmate can become frustrating because many people expect the universe to create a soulmate for them, but they want to decide where, when and how they meet. It doesn’t work like that. It is not up to you, it is up to the universe.
Think about it, many people don’t believe in soulmates, so it stands to reason they are not looking for them. Does this mean they will never meet a soulmate? Of course not. They are going to meet a soulmate regardless of whether they want to or not. This is why so many people feel blind sided when they meet one.
They were not looking for them and they probably didn’t even believe soulmates could exist. Their soulmate often manifests in their lives at a very inconvenient time for them. Why? Because the universe has its reasons, and when they want soulmates to come together, they put them together. There is always a reason why soulmates meet when they do. It causes both soulmates to take a look at what is not working for them in their lives.
One, or both, of the soulmates could be in previous relationships that have run their course and must come to an end. It could be to take a different career path, or to focus more, or less, on their current job/career. Another reason is to break bad relationship habits, otherwise they will just wind up in one dysfunctional relationship after another.
Friends and family may have created a toxic environment and the soulmate enters to help them break these ties that are holding them back from happiness and their life purpose. So when a soulmate enters, something has to exit. These exits, whether they are people, or ways of thinking or behaving, bring tons of drama and resistance with them. In many cases, only a soulmate connection can give each individual the kick in the pants, or the inner strength, to create those changes that would otherwise go unchanged.
Soulmate connections are rare and you don’t have hundreds of them to choose from. Just because you have a strong pull towards someone does not mean they are your soulmate. That pull could just be a strong physical chemistry, which is often confused with a soulmate connection. Although soulmates have a strong physical chemistry, not all couples with a strong physical chemistry are your soulmate.
You may be strongly attracted to someone because something is missing in your life, and that part of you has remained dormant for a long time. When it awakens it can feel really powerful and shake your life up. Does that mean they are a soul mate? Not necessarily. It could just be a strong attraction you have to something that you lost, or never had. There can be many instances where you meet people you feel a strong attraction to, a crush on, love, infatuation, or have special feelings for. They won’t all be soulmates, and it is important you don’t put the soulmate label on the wrong person.
Check our other article: Stop Trying to Make the Wrong Person Your Soulmate
When is it time to give your soulmate a time-out? Is there ever a good reason to give your soulmate relationship a time-out? Since soulmates are supposed have a connection, how can a time-out be the right thing for them? How could a time-out help a soulmate relationship? Soulmates can benefit from time-outs as it can actually reinforce their connection.
Because of their deep connection, a time-out can be just what they need. Emotions run so very high in soulmate relationships. The love to the extreme and they can battle to the extreme. Everything is extreme when it comes to soulmates. The love and affection are on a higher level, and the fighting is just as intense. So when soulmates are at odds, it could be a very good idea to go to separate corners for a while.
Soulmates may need a time-out to shift gears from wanting to hurt one another to missing one another terribly. They need those feelings of anger or hurt to die down, and love to surge again. When soulmates fight they can act like bitter enemies where you would almost think they hate one another. Often if you give them a few days apart, they are bawling like babies because they miss each other so much. They often then could care less about or don’t even remember what they were fighting about.
So yes, there is a good time to give your soul mate a time-out. If your soul mate is acting out or acting the fool is may be the perfect time to give them a time-out. If you can’t reason with them, or they are looking to fight then let them alone. Let them know you are not going to be around them when they are acting like this. Instead of letting them wind you up over something stupid or irrational, give them a time-out.
They are obviously looking for you to sink to their level, and nothing good will come from that. Don’t go there. Do something constructive instead of destructive. Of course many soulmates are terrified that a time-out will lead to a break up. This is just silly. Do you think a time-out will do more damage than is being currently done? Do you really think they will stop loving you? Love doesn’t work that way. Do you really think they will get over you and find someone else? In a few days? Again, that is just silly and melodramatic. No one falls out of love and in love with someone else in a matter of days. Put your fears aside and do the right thing. When it is time to give your soulmate a time-out, then do so.
Don’t confuse time-outs with on/off relationships. If you are giving your soulmate time-outs constantly then there is clearly a bigger problem that must be addressed. Some people do use time-outs as power plays and to create an on/off situation. That is relationship dysfunction 101 and not a good idea at all. Check out our article about on/off soulmate relationships here.
When giving a time-out, do so in a calm manner, or as calm as possible. Let them know how long you will be gone, or how long you want them to leave. Let them know this is not the end of your relationship, but an effort to make things better. Let them know you will be think a lot about things, and that you both need time to get your heads together and your hearts in alignment. Tell them you are doing things for the good of the relationship, not to hurt it. Agree to not have any communication until the date you agree on. Make a plan to meet for lunch or dinner on that date. A time-out may be just the thing to give your soulmate relationship a much needed reboot.
Soulmate memories can be bittersweet. For some people, soulmate memories bring positive emotions in remembering their connection and time together. They see it as an experience that helped shape their lives, opportunities for spiritual growth and evolving to the next level of their existence.
For others, soulmate memories can be heart wrenching, preventing them from moving forward with their lives. They live in the past because they feel the constant pull backwards to the time they shared with their soulmates. They very often obsess about the relationship and what coulda, shoulda, woulda been. It is very difficult to stay on a forward momentum and progress in your life when your soulmate has separated from you.
Regardless of the reason, or lack thereof, many people find it almost impossible to release the hold soulmate memories have over them. They wish they could stop thinking of their soulmate, or being reminded of them time and time again, through reminders the Universe throws at them. Memories come flooding back and peace of mind and emotional fortitude go out the window.
How can the memories of a soulmate help someone instead of constantly hurting them? Are there any benefits to soulmate memories? There can be numerous ways they can help, if you use them the right way.
Dwelling on the past, instead of learning from it, is a bad idea and it keeps you stuck. It is natural for someone to feel pain when thinking of a relationship that didn’t work out. If you and your soulmate have ended your relationship, don’t let their memory defeat you.
Don’t focus primarily on the good times. If you find only warm, pleasant memories plaguing you, immediately shift your focus to the bad ones. Don’t romanticize, but remember the entire relationship, not just the parts that were good. Don’t focus on the lessons they needed to learn, and when or if they ever will. Look back at the changes that relationship made in you.
Did you become someone you didn’t like? Did you change for the worse, even though you did it for love? Did you let them get away with murder? Did you constantly make excuses for them? Were they breaking things, including your heart, all the time but you always had to reach out, apologize, or be the bigger person?
That is what you should think about when soulmate memories rear their ugly head. Remember who you were before that relationship and how you may have changed for the worse. Focus on going back to who you were before the damage was done. Detox from the drama, problems and issues. Get your strength, your dignity and your self-respect back. Instead of wondering when or if they will return, worry about them returning to the same old nonsense.
Make the changes you need to so that craziness won’t happen again. Learn the lessons and experience the personal growth you needed to embrace either a new soulmate or a returning one. Then you can create new and lasting relationships in the future.