Soulmate memories can be bittersweet. For some people, soulmate memories bring positive emotions in remembering their connection and time together. They see it as an experience that helped shape their lives, opportunities for spiritual growth and evolving to the next level of their existence.
For others, soulmate memories can be heart wrenching, preventing them from moving forward with their lives. They live in the past because they feel the constant pull backwards to the time they shared with their soulmates. They very often obsess about the relationship and what coulda, shoulda, woulda been. It is very difficult to stay on a forward momentum and progress in your life when your soulmate has separated from you.
Regardless of the reason, or lack thereof, many people find it almost impossible to release the hold soulmate memories have over them. They wish they could stop thinking of their soulmate, or being reminded of them time and time again, through reminders the Universe throws at them. Memories come flooding back and peace of mind and emotional fortitude go out the window.
How can the memories of a soulmate help someone instead of constantly hurting them? Are there any benefits to soulmate memories? There can be numerous ways they can help, if you use them the right way.
Dwelling on the past, instead of learning from it, is a bad idea and it keeps you stuck. It is natural for someone to feel pain when thinking of a relationship that didn’t work out. If you and your soulmate have ended your relationship, don’t let their memory defeat you.
Don’t focus primarily on the good times. If you find only warm, pleasant memories plaguing you, immediately shift your focus to the bad ones. Don’t romanticize, but remember the entire relationship, not just the parts that were good. Don’t focus on the lessons they needed to learn, and when or if they ever will. Look back at the changes that relationship made in you.
Did you become someone you didn’t like? Did you change for the worse, even though you did it for love? Did you let them get away with murder? Did you constantly make excuses for them? Were they breaking things, including your heart, all the time but you always had to reach out, apologize, or be the bigger person?
That is what you should think about when soulmate memories rear their ugly head. Remember who you were before that relationship and how you may have changed for the worse. Focus on going back to who you were before the damage was done. Detox from the drama, problems and issues. Get your strength, your dignity and your self-respect back. Instead of wondering when or if they will return, worry about them returning to the same old nonsense.
Make the changes you need to so that craziness won’t happen again. Learn the lessons and experience the personal growth you needed to embrace either a new soulmate or a returning one. Then you can create new and lasting relationships in the future.
Has your soulmate made you depressed? When you met your soulmate, you thought you finally found “the one” and thought it would be smooth sailing from now on. The last think you thought was that this relationship would have made you depressed. You thought when your soulmate and you got together your interactions would be filled with nothing but romance and happiness. The connection between you is so strong, and the chemistry is unbelievable. You never felt like this before, and you knew this relationship was something different in a good way.
But now you feel like you are being tortured, and you cannot understand what this is all about. Soulmates are not supposed to make you depressed, right? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels, aren’t they? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels. The problem though is that in order to take you to higher levels, change has to occur.
Rarely is change easy, and change is also often painful. To get to the soulmate high takes some hard work. Being depressed also sometimes comes along for the ride. You may think you are excusing bad behavior or actions and taking the high road but you are actually doing the opposite. When something comes up between you and your soulmate it is one of your tests. It is revealing something about both of you that needs change for the betterment of your relationship.
If you let it go, and your soulmate thinks they got away with it, you both failed. You didn’t do something to help the relationship, you actually played a part in hurting it. These tests are going to show up, and they will repeat themselves until you both learn. Your soulmate may have made you depressed, but you may have also assisted them in doing so. You may be responsible in some way, shape or form. Let change start with you.
Some people in soulmate relationships feel depressed because they feel powerless. They don’t know how to stop the actions or words that their soul ate uses to hurt them. They feel unable to make it stop and change and they are miserable and depressed. But if you keep doing the same thing or saying the same thing as your reaction to those words and actions, of course the dynamic is going to change. You are not powerless. You are afraid to do something different.
It is your fear that is controlling you, not your soul ate. Fearful people feel powerless. They also feel depressed. Take your power back and get rid of your fear. In doing so, you may also begin the process of getting rid of your depression as well. You should also see changes for the better in your relationship. You may get resistance at first, but stay strong and low positive changes to occur for you and your soul ate. Make the required effort, instead of the same thing that never works and only makes things worse.
Is your soulmate relationship driving you crazy? There are many people who sadly allow their soulmate to drive them crazy when it really can be avoided for the most part. The best way to keep your soulmate relationship from driving you crazy is to keep the faith. If you really believe you have found your soulmate, and that you have a connection, keep the faith that you will get through this with the universe’s help.
If you begin asking yourself questions like, what is your soulmate doing, are we even soulmates, then you don’t really have faith, do you? If you don’t have the faith needed in your soulmate relationship, how can you expect your partner to? When you lose faith in what you have, you lose the power you need to get through the bad times. Soulmate relationships have a lot of challenges, and you have to draw strength from the connection you share, not break it down. Even if your soulmate is the one doing the damage, make sure you don’t join them.
You shouldn’t be driving each other crazy, or letting the soulmate relationship drive you crazy. You should just chalk it up to the fact these relationships stir up things within us that need to be addressed. Look at what the universe is showing both you and your soulmate. Separate the lessons. Don’t be so busy worrying about whether or not your soulmate will learn theirs that you are not addressing your own. When you avoid learning yours, you enable your soulmate to keep on driving you crazy.
Let’s say your soulmate pulls a disappearing act now and then. First, look at the lessons you both could need to learn. Your soulmate’s could be that they have to face problems and not run from them. Yours could be that you have to set and enforce boundaries so that your soulmate needs to understand they can’t keep doing this.
Without you learning yours, how can they learn theirs?
You actually make it harder for them to learn theirs if you don’t learn yours. If you prevent your soulmate from learning their lesson, your behavior contributes to their craziness. So, time to educate and empower yourself. If you do that, you set the wheels in motion for them to rise to your level.
Don’t let crazy behavior make you question what you know to be true. Don’t obsess as to the why and the how they could behave this way. Just chalk it up to them acting crazy, and let them do it solo. Let them work through what they need to and keep yourself sane. You know the truth. You know your love is real and your connection is real. When they question it, they act crazy. When you question it, you will act crazy. There is no way that two crazy people can have a sane relationship, so stop it.
You may need a bit of a pep talk every now and then, but don’t talk to people who you know will be driving you crazy. Keep a level head and do what you need to do, and chances are your soulmate will do the same. Regardless of how long it may take, you will get through the process a lot easier if you stay sane than let it bring you to your knees. You may not have a choice as to how long it can take for your soulmate to get their act together, but it is your choice how you handle it, and what you do while you wait it out.
Do you dwell too much on your soulmate? When a soulmate enters your life, it is hard not to dwell on them. You soulmate is suddenly the thing you think about and often the only person you want to talk to or hang out with. When soulmates meet, it is as if no one else in the world exists. The chemistry and the pull from the soul is strong but when you add the intensity of emotion, it’s like nothing you have experienced before.
There is a positive and negative side to dwelling on your soulmate. At first, it can be exhilarating, so enjoy that part. Since so many soulmates have a period of separation, dwelling will go in another direction entirely. When soulmates separate, even for a short time, it can feel debilitating. It is like your right arm was cut off because they are such a part of you and now that part is are missing.
Perhaps your soulmate is not around right now because of a job change or family illness. If so, try not to dwell too much. The universe is giving you time apart to get yourself in check. A soulmates reason for not being around is logical and necessary. Crying and acting as if your life is over is not what you are supposed to be doing. Dwelling like that is unhealthy, especially since you don’t have a good reason. Sure, you can miss them, but your life shouldn’t be falling apart. On the contrary, if should be building up.
If you really believe this person is your soulmate, then have some faith in that. Get some things in your life caught up so you can spend more time with them when they get back. When soulmates are apart, it is a test of sorts. If you dwell too much and fall apart, the relationship can fall apart. You don’t want that. Don’t dwell on how sad you are because they left you for right now. Remind yourself that your soulmate needed to do this and be supportive. Tell yourself how good it will be when you talk and see one another and how you will make the most of that. Rise to the challenge instead of falling to pieces.
If your soulmate left and told you the relationship is over, you can allow yourself to dwell, but not indefinitely. When a soulmate relationship ends, it can be devastating but this is not an excuse to check out of life. They hurt you by leaving, don’t hurt yourself further by constantly dwelling on the soulmate separation. At first you have a right to dwell but at a certain point you have to dust yourself off and get on with your life.
It will be hard to break the cycle of thoughts and behaviors you practiced while dwelling on your soulmate break up. It won’t be easy, but you have to start at some point and you have to allow other things into your life and your mind. You have to pick up the pieces of your life and become a bigger part of it. Start in zombie mode if you have to and just fake it until you make it. Eventually, even though your soul mate will still have a piece of your heart, you will also find joy and happiness in other things. If/when they come back, you can deal with them again. Don’t put yourself through the grieving process too long. You want to be a whole person if/when they come back, or for someone new who can enter your life.
Does your soulmate act like a child? Are you tired of feeling like you have a child you have to cater to rather than an adult you can depend on in your relationship? Is your soulmate rude, or even nasty to you for no reason? Does your soulmate act like a child and resort to behaviors like being spiteful, vindictive or immature when they are upset or don’t get their way? Does your soulmate act like a spoiled child and want the entire world, and your relationship to revolve around just them?
If your soulmate does things on purpose to provoke an argument, or make one worse, it’s time you put a stop to this behavior. You cannot allow someone who acts like a child to be in control of your relationship or they are going to ruin it. Sometimes, in soulmate relationships, you have to resort to tough love. When you are with a soulmate, it stands to reason you want to show them love and support. You don’t want to have to call them out or create conflict, but sometimes you have to make an effort to fix the problem. You should know when you are at a crisis point in your relationship and you need to act aggressively, not passively, at that point. Being passive isn’t going to get you anywhere, and it won’t get positive results. It will just enable your soulmate to continue to act like a child.
A child, not an adult, goes way overboard when they don’t need to. When you smile at a waiter or waitress, your adult partner should not fly into a jealous rage. It will not cause an them to start making nasty comments towards you just because you were being polite or civil to a member of the opposite sex. Jealousy and insecurity are not excuses for adults to behave like children. You shouldn’t be breaking up every time they fly into a rage for no good reason.
If you can’t talk to your soulmate and express yourself for fear they will get upset and go crazy, then they are acting like a child. Adult relationships have adult problems, and you need two adults willing and ready to tackle those problems. Putting your emotions on the back burner isn’t going to fix anything. If you feel you deserve an apology, then hold them accountable for that apology. Don’t smooth things over yourself, and don’t let them off the hook by using the amnesia trick either.
Don’t let sex be the only way they “fix” things. You should not forgive and forget what they have done just because some time has passed without an apology from them. Don’t chime in and apologize for your reactions to what they did either. Make them take responsibility and show remorse for what they have done wrong. Adults make amends when they are truly sorry and don’t keep making the same mistakes.
Your soulmate needs to act like an adult, handle their own finances and be able to stand on their own two feet. It is not your responsibility to take care of yourself and them. They need to pitch in and do the work neither of you want to do, rather than just wanting to play and have fun all the time. Running off to hang out with their friends or focus on their hobbies instead of doing the things they need to do needs to stop.
Don’t let your soulmate off the hook, it keeps them from growing up. It won’t be a quick fix, but there are a lot of things you can do when your soulmate acts like a child and you want them to act like an adult.