Soulmate Separation Anxiety
Instability seems to be a common problem in soulmate relationships due to the challenging nature these relationships often bring into our lives. If you are in soulmate relationship, or have been in one in the past, we can pretty much guarantee there was instability at some point in your relationship.
One of the most common ways a soulmate relationship becomes unstable is when one or both partners are having issues with the connection. Many people find it weird and unsettling to be that bonded to another person in ways they have never experienced. The feelings and synchronicities are unexplainable, perhaps even foreign, because they are unlike anything felt before.
It is hard to deal with these feelings at levels never before experienced. It makes many question their own sanity. So it is easy to see why soulmates often resort to simply denying the connection exists. The instability will remain until that soulmate works through and accepts the connection and the foundation of the relationship suffers.
More often than not when a soulmate is in denial, they often become a runner. Everything can be going perfectly between the two of you but the soulmate will still be a runner. In some cases they will drop off the face of the earth, out of the blue, without even a warning or conversation. Communication ceases, they won’t see you and may even can block you from social media. So when the soulmate relationship should be building a strong foundation, the resisting of the bond creates instability, causing the relationship to go into soulmate limbo. Please check our other article, Soulmate Limbo Sucks, to gain some insight in how to deal with this issue.
Soulmates are often very fiery, and both their love and their arguments will be infused with passion. The levels of love and affection are often matched by the levels of acting out and fighting. Disagreeing on such levels also causes a lot of instability in the relationship. They can do things to each other that you would swear people who love each other could possibly do. On the flip side, they forgive each other for behaviors that others would seem unforgivable.
They may themselves be struggling with the intensity of the relationship so it’s very possible they understand what the other is going through. Since many do not want to lose their soulmate, they let them get away with anything and everything. They are afraid if they take a stand and insist they air out their differences in more healthy ways, their soulmate may leave. What they don’t seem to get, no matter how many times we explain it, is that if they allow bad behavior without consequences, it will be recurring, and become much worse.
This causes the relationship stagnate and this instability does a lot of damage. What they are trying to save they are actually causing to deteriorate. Their worst fear, losing their soulmate, is going to manifest because they won’t do the right thing for themselves and the relationship.
When a relationship is unhealthy it gets to a point where it is mostly negative and often ends. In every relationship the couple is supposed to set healthy boundaries and enforce them. If they do not, the relationship gets more and more dysfunctional and unstable. It has no choice but to eventually come crashing down around them. Drama, acting out, cheating, game playing, and staying in a previous relationship are all causes of soulmate instability. Those bad behaviors and actions need to be changed or the relationship will never be the harmonious one they both know it can be.
Do you dwell too much on your soulmate? When a soulmate enters your life, it is hard not to dwell on them. You soulmate is suddenly the thing you think about and often the only person you want to talk to or hang out with. When soulmates meet, it is as if no one else in the world exists. The chemistry and the pull from the soul is strong but when you add the intensity of emotion, it’s like nothing you have experienced before.
There is a positive and negative side to dwelling on your soulmate. At first, it can be exhilarating, so enjoy that part. Since so many soulmates have a period of separation, dwelling will go in another direction entirely. When soulmates separate, even for a short time, it can feel debilitating. It is like your right arm was cut off because they are such a part of you and now that part is are missing.
Perhaps your soulmate is not around right now because of a job change or family illness. If so, try not to dwell too much. The universe is giving you time apart to get yourself in check. A soulmates reason for not being around is logical and necessary. Crying and acting as if your life is over is not what you are supposed to be doing. Dwelling like that is unhealthy, especially since you don’t have a good reason. Sure, you can miss them, but your life shouldn’t be falling apart. On the contrary, if should be building up.
If you really believe this person is your soulmate, then have some faith in that. Get some things in your life caught up so you can spend more time with them when they get back. When soulmates are apart, it is a test of sorts. If you dwell too much and fall apart, the relationship can fall apart. You don’t want that. Don’t dwell on how sad you are because they left you for right now. Remind yourself that your soulmate needed to do this and be supportive. Tell yourself how good it will be when you talk and see one another and how you will make the most of that. Rise to the challenge instead of falling to pieces.
If your soulmate left and told you the relationship is over, you can allow yourself to dwell, but not indefinitely. When a soulmate relationship ends, it can be devastating but this is not an excuse to check out of life. They hurt you by leaving, don’t hurt yourself further by constantly dwelling on the soulmate separation. At first you have a right to dwell but at a certain point you have to dust yourself off and get on with your life.
It will be hard to break the cycle of thoughts and behaviors you practiced while dwelling on your soulmate break up. It won’t be easy, but you have to start at some point and you have to allow other things into your life and your mind. You have to pick up the pieces of your life and become a bigger part of it. Start in zombie mode if you have to and just fake it until you make it. Eventually, even though your soul mate will still have a piece of your heart, you will also find joy and happiness in other things. If/when they come back, you can deal with them again. Don’t put yourself through the grieving process too long. You want to be a whole person if/when they come back, or for someone new who can enter your life.
Stalking your soulmate though social media is becoming quite common. People stalk every photo, every like, comment and interaction. Many people set up fake accounts to stalk a soulmate online because they want to do it without anyone knowing what they are up to. They believe they will find valuable, pertinent information on their soulmate social media accounts. Many also believe they can discover what their soulmate is trying to hide on social media profiles.
In some cases, checking your soulmate’s social media accounts is not a bad idea if done periodically. In many other cases, stalking your soulmate through social media is an epic waste of time. It can actually do more harm than good, because so much posted on social media is simply not reality or the whole story. In many cases it can be complete lies. So are you really gaining anything by stalking your soulmate though social media? In most cases, you are not.
In most cases you are being both self-destructive and destructive to your soul mate relationship. If your soulmate left you for whatever reason, stalking them through social media is a waste of time. You may want to know what they are up to, but you don’t need to. The reason they ended your relationship won’t be found on social media, and it won’t be fixed by what you find on social media. They won’t alert their social media accounts that they are coming back to you before they let you know. The only thing you will discover on their social media accounts are the stupid things they are doing, posting and liking. You don’t need that information. You may want that information, but you don’t need it.
Do you really need to see the latest pictures of their family, friends, or dinner? No. But you want to, don’t you? Well, you need to stop. This is not what you should be doing during your time apart. During a soulmate separation you are supposed to work on your issues and address them, not live your life by watching theirs. It is counter productive and will get you nowhere. It’s also and epic waste of your time.
If they are not coming back, stalking your soulmate though social media keeps you from moving on. If they are, you have not done the work you need to do to make the relationship better. You have not evolved to a better version of yourself. All you are doing by stalking their social media is keeping yourself weak, over-emotional, and depressed. What your soulmate is doing with out you doesn’t matter. It only matters when they come back. If they aren’t in your life, don’t make your life revolve around them. Make it revolve around YOU.
If your soulmate is presently in your life, it is not a bad idea to randomly check their social media accounts. People like to stir up trouble, and someone may be out to get in the way of your soulmate relationship. So a periodic check here and there is no big deal. But if you are stalking their social media accounts getting pissed off every time their ex, or some other member of the opposite sex, has any interaction with them you need to stop. If they give you so much reason to be that suspicious or insecure you need to deal with those reasons, instead of spending so much time on their social media accounts. You will never solve the problem that way.
Social media often causes more harm than good in peoples lives. People tend to over analyze everything they see, and also believe it is somehow real. I cannot tell you how many times clients have told us they saw a picture of their soulmate smiling in a picture so they must be happy. Are you serious? Name one person you know that does not smile when their picture is being taken. Other than mug shots, everyone smiles when their picture is being taken, or attempts to look happy. So where does a smile in a picture mean squat? Apparently to those stalking their soulmate on social media is means TONS. Well, in reality it doesn’t mean a thing. So don’t believe everything you see on social media. Believe more in the words and actions of your soulmate. It all starts there. That is where your focus should lie. Stay away from the social media, and pay closer attention to the reality of your relationship.
People who believe in the concept of soulmates also believe soulmates are made for each other. Just the other day I was thinking about two little idioms; “They are made for each other” and “Marriages are Made in Heaven”. But are they really? Are marriages made in heaven? Or are they something we arrange here on earth when we think we have found our significant other. Are people made for each other, or do we just sort of mold ourselves to the ones with whom we are in relationship.
If you believe in soulmates and soulmate relationships, rest assured, you are made for each other… in heaven! Soulmates meet on the ‘other side’, in heaven, prior to incarnating, or being born. Before we are born, our essence, or soul, has meetings with our guides and elders as well as members from our soul family to determine the life lessons we will learn during the upcoming incarnation. Our soul family are the souls who travel with us from lifetime to lifetime. We will have real earth-bound relationships with these souls over and over again as we all come down together to experience life, learn, and evolve before our final reunion on the other side.
We may incarnate at the same or different time periods, depending on the nature of the relationship. If it is to be a boyfriend / girlfriend or husband / wife relationship we will more than likely incarnate during the same generation. Since we travel with these souls through time when we physically meet there is a sense of familiarity or a feeling of already knowing that person. There is a subtle recognition when we encounter one of the souls we travel through lifetimes with. That recognition should also come with a flashing billboard announcing “Major Life Lesson Incoming” because you know when you meet one of them, the will more than likely be a spiritual life lesson attached to that relationship that will cause you to grow and evolve.
Let’s say, for example, you need a life lesson in patience, which is one of the most difficult life lessons by the way. But don’t lose heart, when you are experiencing life lessons in patience it means you are almost at the end of your incarnation cycles and you will be literally home free! On the other hand, your soulmate needs a lesson in learning how to receive unconditional love. Both of you agree to provide this lesson to each other, in one way or another, when you develop your life’s blueprint. You create soulmate contracts or agreements with each other to provide these opportunities for spiritual growth. Your souls need these life lessons in order to evolve to the next level, whatever that level may be. After many years on Earth, you find each other, have a great connection and develop a relationship. Because you agreed to have the life lessons with that soul, or souls, you are already with each other before coming down to planet Earth. So you are made for each other because you agreed to be in each others lives for a reason to fulfill and complete your soulmate contracts and agreements to provide the lessons you each need in your individual soul evolution.
While you may be made for each other due to the soulmate agreement or soulmate contract you made with each other, it is not a guarantee that you will be together for the long haul. A soulmate can come into your life to create a relationship for a season, a reason or in some cases a lifetime. The number of instances of soulmates uniting for a lifetime however are few and far between although it can and will happen to some soulmates.
If you break up with your soulmate it creates the emotional soulmate crisis point we call soulmate separation anxiety. It is during that period of separation, and the resulting anxiety (sadness, depression, obsession) that goes with it, that you will learn the life lessons because you will have to cope and deal with the situation. Lady Sarah and Sophia Elise are both well versed in soulmates, twin flames, soulmate relationships and twin flame relationships and all the challenges and frustrations that can accompany them. They will be able to see if you soulmate relationship is for a season, a reason or a lifetime and give you the advice and guidance you need to move through the soulmate separation so you can learn your lessons easily and quickly.