Instability seems to be a common problem in soulmate relationships due to the challenging nature these relationships often bring into our lives. If you are in soulmate relationship, or have been in one in the past, we can pretty much guarantee there was instability at some point in your relationship.
One of the most common ways a soulmate relationship becomes unstable is when one or both partners are having issues with the connection. Many people find it weird and unsettling to be that bonded to another person in ways they have never experienced. The feelings and synchronicities are unexplainable, perhaps even foreign, because they are unlike anything felt before.
It is hard to deal with these feelings at levels never before experienced. It makes many question their own sanity. So it is easy to see why soulmates often resort to simply denying the connection exists. The instability will remain until that soulmate works through and accepts the connection and the foundation of the relationship suffers.
More often than not when a soulmate is in denial, they often become a runner. Everything can be going perfectly between the two of you but the soulmate will still be a runner. In some cases they will drop off the face of the earth, out of the blue, without even a warning or conversation. Communication ceases, they won’t see you and may even can block you from social media. So when the soulmate relationship should be building a strong foundation, the resisting of the bond creates instability, causing the relationship to go into soulmate limbo. Please check our other article, Soulmate Limbo Sucks, to gain some insight in how to deal with this issue.
Soulmates are often very fiery, and both their love and their arguments will be infused with passion. The levels of love and affection are often matched by the levels of acting out and fighting. Disagreeing on such levels also causes a lot of instability in the relationship. They can do things to each other that you would swear people who love each other could possibly do. On the flip side, they forgive each other for behaviors that others would seem unforgivable.
They may themselves be struggling with the intensity of the relationship so it’s very possible they understand what the other is going through. Since many do not want to lose their soulmate, they let them get away with anything and everything. They are afraid if they take a stand and insist they air out their differences in more healthy ways, their soulmate may leave. What they don’t seem to get, no matter how many times we explain it, is that if they allow bad behavior without consequences, it will be recurring, and become much worse.
This causes the relationship stagnate and this instability does a lot of damage. What they are trying to save they are actually causing to deteriorate. Their worst fear, losing their soulmate, is going to manifest because they won’t do the right thing for themselves and the relationship.
When a relationship is unhealthy it gets to a point where it is mostly negative and often ends. In every relationship the couple is supposed to set healthy boundaries and enforce them. If they do not, the relationship gets more and more dysfunctional and unstable. It has no choice but to eventually come crashing down around them. Drama, acting out, cheating, game playing, and staying in a previous relationship are all causes of soulmate instability. Those bad behaviors and actions need to be changed or the relationship will never be the harmonious one they both know it can be.
Leaving a bad soulmate relationship is something many people are unwilling to do. They feel they would rather stay in a bad soulmate relationship, refusing to leave, in the hopes it will get better. Leaving their soulmate is out of the question for many people. What if leaving a bad soulmate relationship is the only way to save it? What if leaving is the right thing to do or the only thing to do to create positive change?
This may seem like a foreign concept to many people. How can leaving a bad soulmate relationship actually be a positive thing? The answer is easy. Many people are afraid of leaving a bad relationship because they feel that leaving is final. They may let someone break up with them 400 times and let them back 400 times but they don’t think someone would let them back or want them back. If you ask us, that’s pretty ridiculous.
If you wind up leaving a bad soulmate relationship because your soulmate won’t get with the program, how is it your fault you left? Are you implying your soulmate is too stupid to know their behavior wasn’t pushing you away and that eventually you might leave? Your soulmate isn’t that stupid, they know they deserve to have you leave them.
The truth of the matter is you don’t believe your soulmate will care if you wind up leaving. You are insecure. You believe they will be happy without you and move on quickly to someone else. That alone is enough of a reason to leave. Why on earth would you stay in a relationship that makes you feel that way? How could you be that stupid to think you will stay together if your soulmate doesn’t care if you end it?
The longer you stay, the less attractive you will become to your soulmate. When you allow someone to treat you badly, it doesn’t make them respect you. It doesn’t prove your love for them. It makes them see you as their victim, as insecure, and someone they cannot take seriously. Their treatment of you will only get worse.
You may think if you stay instead of leaving a bad soulmate relationship, they may wake up one day and realize how important you are to them. Well, how many days have you given them already to test your theory? What are you going to do to wake them up?
Sometimes leaving a bad soulmate relationship can remind someone how much they need you. Leaving doesn’t always mean you have to end the relationship. You can physically leave, by being less affectionate. You can emotionally withdraw as a way of leaving. You can focus more on yourself and stop making the relationship and your soulmate’s nonsense a priority. Withdrawing or pulling back your attention can be an effective way of leaving. It could be as simple as not initiating contact, or begging to see them, or complaining about not spending enough time together.
At some point, leaving a bad soulmate relationship could be the best thing that happens to you as a couple. Sometimes it is the lesson your soulmate needs to learn to move forward in a more positive and healthy way. You will learn from this experience as well.
There are rules you can follow to have a positive soulmate experience. Growth is hard, and so are the challenges involved in a soulmate relationship. There are, of course, some rules you can adhere to help you have a more positive soulmate experience than a negative one.
The first rule for a positive soulmate experience is to have faith and trust in your connection to your soulmate. Instead of thinking you are insane, that the connection couldn’t possibly be real, you should understand that you are a rational person, and the reason you feel so connected to this person is because they are your soulmate. Don’t let the connection scare you. Sure, it makes you vulnerable but it should also give you more strength than you ever had before.
Even if your soulmate is going through denial, don’t follow along side them. Remain calm and steadfast, and have faith that they will gain acceptance of the bond between the two of you. If you have the faith to believe in soulmates, have the belief in them when you have found yours. There is a reason you came into one another’s lives, so have faith that the universe will reveal those reasons to you both.
The second rule for a positive soulmate experience is having the strength to know that if you are doing the right thing, the universe will reward you. You don’t have to suffer, you don’t have to give in, and you don’t have to do all the work. The universe doesn’t want you to do that.
Another rule for a positive soulmate relationship is to stop thinking that your soulmate doesn’t share your connection or feel it the way you do. Just because the two of you are reacting to it differently doesn’t mean the connection is only one-sided. Sitting around worrying that your soulmate doesn’t love you, will leave you forever, or has broken your connection for no good reason, is giving into fear. The connection between the two of you, and the fact that you feel it so strongly for this person should assure you that they are in the same boat as you. It goes both ways. We realize they may not be acting like they feel the same way that you do, but that is only acting. Don’t act out alongside them.
The next rule for a positive soulmate experience is to stop being so concerned with when your soulmate is going to learn their lessons and come around. It is better for you to focus on what negative things about yourself you are having to face right now and deal with them. You need to make changes. Don’t think that you don’t. Find out what they are and get to work. If your soulmate has created distance between the two of you, instead of worrying and wondering if they are learning anything, use the time productively to learn what you are supposed to. It is NEVER only one soulmate that is supposed to make changes and grow. It is always both.
Soulmate relationships often do have some negative and some positive experiences. If you focus on the positive, and behave in a positive way, you have a more positive soulmate experience.
Soulmates don’t grow on trees. Of course most people would like to meet their soulmate, but many don’t understand soulmates are not exactly easy to find. First of all, they are not everywhere, you can’t just go pick one up at your local Walmart. Your soulmate is one grain of sand on a huge beach, so of course, if you decide to put your energy into finding yours, it could take a while.
The universe created a soulmate for you, and will, of course, create the time and place for you to get together and begin your journey. Finding a soulmate can become frustrating because many people expect the universe to create a soulmate for them, but they want to decide where, when and how they meet. It doesn’t work like that. It is not up to you, it is up to the universe.
Think about it, many people don’t believe in soulmates, so it stands to reason they are not looking for them. Does this mean they will never meet a soulmate? Of course not. They are going to meet a soulmate regardless of whether they want to or not. This is why so many people feel blind sided when they meet one.
They were not looking for them and they probably didn’t even believe soulmates could exist. Their soulmate often manifests in their lives at a very inconvenient time for them. Why? Because the universe has its reasons, and when they want soulmates to come together, they put them together. There is always a reason why soulmates meet when they do. It causes both soulmates to take a look at what is not working for them in their lives.
One, or both, of the soulmates could be in previous relationships that have run their course and must come to an end. It could be to take a different career path, or to focus more, or less, on their current job/career. Another reason is to break bad relationship habits, otherwise they will just wind up in one dysfunctional relationship after another.
Friends and family may have created a toxic environment and the soulmate enters to help them break these ties that are holding them back from happiness and their life purpose. So when a soulmate enters, something has to exit. These exits, whether they are people, or ways of thinking or behaving, bring tons of drama and resistance with them. In many cases, only a soulmate connection can give each individual the kick in the pants, or the inner strength, to create those changes that would otherwise go unchanged.
Soulmate connections are rare and you don’t have hundreds of them to choose from. Just because you have a strong pull towards someone does not mean they are your soulmate. That pull could just be a strong physical chemistry, which is often confused with a soulmate connection. Although soulmates have a strong physical chemistry, not all couples with a strong physical chemistry are your soulmate.
You may be strongly attracted to someone because something is missing in your life, and that part of you has remained dormant for a long time. When it awakens it can feel really powerful and shake your life up. Does that mean they are a soul mate? Not necessarily. It could just be a strong attraction you have to something that you lost, or never had. There can be many instances where you meet people you feel a strong attraction to, a crush on, love, infatuation, or have special feelings for. They won’t all be soulmates, and it is important you don’t put the soulmate label on the wrong person.
Check our other article: Stop Trying to Make the Wrong Person Your Soulmate
When is it time to give your soulmate a time-out? Is there ever a good reason to give your soulmate relationship a time-out? Since soulmates are supposed have a connection, how can a time-out be the right thing for them? How could a time-out help a soulmate relationship? Soulmates can benefit from time-outs as it can actually reinforce their connection.
Because of their deep connection, a time-out can be just what they need. Emotions run so very high in soulmate relationships. The love to the extreme and they can battle to the extreme. Everything is extreme when it comes to soulmates. The love and affection are on a higher level, and the fighting is just as intense. So when soulmates are at odds, it could be a very good idea to go to separate corners for a while.
Soulmates may need a time-out to shift gears from wanting to hurt one another to missing one another terribly. They need those feelings of anger or hurt to die down, and love to surge again. When soulmates fight they can act like bitter enemies where you would almost think they hate one another. Often if you give them a few days apart, they are bawling like babies because they miss each other so much. They often then could care less about or don’t even remember what they were fighting about.
So yes, there is a good time to give your soul mate a time-out. If your soul mate is acting out or acting the fool is may be the perfect time to give them a time-out. If you can’t reason with them, or they are looking to fight then let them alone. Let them know you are not going to be around them when they are acting like this. Instead of letting them wind you up over something stupid or irrational, give them a time-out.
They are obviously looking for you to sink to their level, and nothing good will come from that. Don’t go there. Do something constructive instead of destructive. Of course many soulmates are terrified that a time-out will lead to a break up. This is just silly. Do you think a time-out will do more damage than is being currently done? Do you really think they will stop loving you? Love doesn’t work that way. Do you really think they will get over you and find someone else? In a few days? Again, that is just silly and melodramatic. No one falls out of love and in love with someone else in a matter of days. Put your fears aside and do the right thing. When it is time to give your soulmate a time-out, then do so.
Don’t confuse time-outs with on/off relationships. If you are giving your soulmate time-outs constantly then there is clearly a bigger problem that must be addressed. Some people do use time-outs as power plays and to create an on/off situation. That is relationship dysfunction 101 and not a good idea at all. Check out our article about on/off soulmate relationships here.
When giving a time-out, do so in a calm manner, or as calm as possible. Let them know how long you will be gone, or how long you want them to leave. Let them know this is not the end of your relationship, but an effort to make things better. Let them know you will be think a lot about things, and that you both need time to get your heads together and your hearts in alignment. Tell them you are doing things for the good of the relationship, not to hurt it. Agree to not have any communication until the date you agree on. Make a plan to meet for lunch or dinner on that date. A time-out may be just the thing to give your soulmate relationship a much needed reboot.