Soulmate sabotage happens all the time, for various reasons. Depending on the couple, one or both soulmates may sabotage their future relationship. Why, you may ask, would a soulmate commit soulmate sabotage? Many people are waiting patiently, and impatiently, for their soulmate. So why on earth, when they finally appear, would they sabotage this relationship and risk their future together?
There are so many reasons why soulmate sabotage occurs. The foundation of a soulmate relationship is supposed to faith, not fear. When fear, in all its ugly glory takes over, many soulmates will sabotage the relationship on purpose, in order to run away from it. Wether it is breaking up with a soulmate or being so destructive that their soulmate breaks up with them, the intention was clearly there. They want the relationship to end for whatever fear-based reason.
There are also many other soulmate couples who are behaving in ways that will ruin their relationship but engaging in soulmate sabotage. The difference is, these people don’t want the relationship damaged or destroyed. However, they fail to realize their behaviors are sabotaging the relationship. For those, we have written 10 examples of soulmate sabotage in an effort to bring awareness before things get too bad.
Top 10 Signs of Soulmate Sabotage
1) Having unrealistic expectations. So many people think soulmates are like couples in fairy tales. They meet, and then live happily ever after. Nothing could be further from the truth. Soulmates have important lessons to learn and hurdles to get over. However, sometimes a soulmate will have such high expectations that it is actually a form of sabotage. They expect their soulmate to be perfect. They expect they will never argue with their soulmate. They expect their soulmate to agree with them on everything. This is not reality, it is fantasy. Be realistic about your soulmate, otherwise you could be unknowingly sabotaging your relationship.
2) Being too passive, or always the peacemaker, is another way a soulmate can sabotage the relationship. You may think you are doing it for the benefit of the relationship, but in truth, you are not. We are all capable of saying I’m sorry, and we are all in the wrong sometimes, and need to accept that. It is not your job to keep your soulmate from growing and becoming a better person. That is more damaging than you think. You should have enough faith in your soulmate connection and your soulmate than you do.
3) Another form of soulmate sabotage is when you do not address problems, and fix them, before taking your relationship to another level. What was a problem while you were dating, will more than likely be a problem when you live together. That problem, if not corrected, will still be there if you get married or start a family. Don’t move forward with these problems. Deal with them and then move forward.
4) Focusing too much on chemistry and attraction, and not real compatibility, is another example of soulmate sabotage. Sure, the sex may be great and the chemistry intense, but that is not enough to keep you together forever. It is also not a way to fix your problems.
5) Being too melodramatic or a drama queen (or drama king) is an all too common characteristic of soulmate sabotage. Constant drama only causes long-term damage. It doesn’t make for long-term bliss. Get rid of the drama and don’t tolerate it. It has no place in a happy soulmate relationship, only a dysfunctional one.
6) Another example of soulmate sabotage is when you constantly break up over stupid, inconsequential things. That is totally disrespectful to your soulmate and the relationship itself. Your connection was a gift from the universe. If you bought someone a gift and they disrespected it, how happy would YOU be? Would you ever give them a gift again? Don’t be ungrateful for the gift you have it given, as that gift can be taken away from you.
7) Constantly keeping score is another great way to sabotage your soulmate relationship. How does feeling the need to constantly “one up” your soulmate create harmony? It doesn’t, so knock it off.
8) Always needing to be right is another top form of soulmate sabotage. You don’t need to always be right. You don’t always need to go out of your way to prove you are right. That is one of your soulmate lessons obviously. Take your ego down a notch before it’s too late.
9) Being too comfortable with your soulmate can sabotage your relationship. You may think you can do or say anything you want and get away with it because of your connection. Not so. Don’t give your soulmate the worst of who you are. They deserve the best, not the worst. Why would you treat anyone else better than you do your soulmate? How could you not think that isn’t a form of sabotage?
10) Being too needy, clingy, or not giving personal space or privacy is detrimental to your soulmate relationship. Being too needy or clingy makes a person feel smothered after a while. People that feel smothered feel the urge to break free. You should also trust them enough to have a respectful level of privacy. If you don’t, the reason for that distrust needs to be addressed.
Hopefully this will be a wake up call to some soulmates who are sabotaging their relationships without even knowing it and start using corrective action to bring harmony back to their relationships.
Competing for attention from your soulmate can prove very frustrating. You would think that a soulmate relationship would not leave you competing for attention, but quite the opposite is often true.
Due to intensity of the soulmate connection, many people think they bend the rules a bit. Breaking the rules in soulmate relationships can actually cause the relationship to fall apart. Because soulmates have a unique, eternal bond, many believe this connection can never be broken. They believe either consciously, or subconsciously, a soulmate will be extra understanding, and be there waiting for them regardless of the amount of time and energy they throw their way.
Since soulmates often prove their love in the wrong ways, it is easy to see how they think they can do anything and get away with it. So often soulmates put up with the wrong behaviors, so they can be taken for granted and mistreated in many other ways. Perhaps the reason you are competing for attention from your soulmate is because they know you won’t leave. If they are unafraid because there are no consequences to the lack of attention they give you, they figure why not do it?
When your soulmate has an attitude like this, there is no telling what kind of shenanigans they may wind up pulling on you and your relationship. Your soulmate should not put you in a place where you are competing for attention. You should not have to compete with their family, their friends, hobbies, work, or even a romantic rival. And you should never allow yourself to be put in that situation either.
You may be terrified to lose them and act on that fear. That fear causes your relationship to deteriorate. You reward their bad behavior by standing by them, being afraid to punish them, and therefore enabling them to continue with the lack of time they spend with you. They are immune to your feelings, because your feelings for them come first, with both of you.
If you revolve your world around them, then they are the center of the universe. You are no longer equals. You both took a spiritual connection and made it a dysfunctional one. The universe won’t save your relationship, because they didn’t trash it. Both of you created this mess and it is up to you both to fix it. You can’t repair your soulmate relationship by competing for affection, attention, or anything else.
In order for your soulmate to honor your connection, you must honor it as well. You need to hold them, as well as yourself, to a higher standard, not a lower one. If they want to lower their standards, don’t go down there with them. It will be even harder to rise from the gutter. Instead, challenge them with your higher standards. Don’t give in so easily to theirs! One of you is going to get what you want, and do either of you really want to destroy what you could have?
Soulmates don’t always get to stay together forever. Some can be in wonderful long-term relationships, but those soulmates rose to the soulmate challenge and raised their relationship standards. They did not lower them, at least not permanently. If you lower your standards, you may have a long-term relationship, but it will be full of chaos, drama, and dysfunction, which makes many of them wish a soulmate had never entered their lives.
Before you let fear be your guide, think things though, using your head, not your heart. Would you let anyone else get away with this? Do you really think it is a bad thing to say what is on your mind and tell your soulmate they need to give you the attention you deserve? Is there anything really wrong with expressing how their lack of attention has made you feel? Do you think you have a right to tell them enough is enough and it is time for a change? Isn’t that what you should be able to do in a healthy relationship?
In a healthy soulmate relationship, or any relationship for that matter, the two parties will make mistakes, but they work through them, and resolve them. They don’t focus on the competition, because that won’t fix anything. It is not the competition that is the problem. It is not any outside party, it is one of the two, and it must be fixed from within the relationship. Your soulmate is choosing to put their attention elsewhere, and it is up to you to show them they are making the wrong choice.
Instability seems to be a common problem in soulmate relationships due to the challenging nature these relationships often bring into our lives. If you are in soulmate relationship, or have been in one in the past, we can pretty much guarantee there was instability at some point in your relationship.
One of the most common ways a soulmate relationship becomes unstable is when one or both partners are having issues with the connection. Many people find it weird and unsettling to be that bonded to another person in ways they have never experienced. The feelings and synchronicities are unexplainable, perhaps even foreign, because they are unlike anything felt before.
It is hard to deal with these feelings at levels never before experienced. It makes many question their own sanity. So it is easy to see why soulmates often resort to simply denying the connection exists. The instability will remain until that soulmate works through and accepts the connection and the foundation of the relationship suffers.
More often than not when a soulmate is in denial, they often become a runner. Everything can be going perfectly between the two of you but the soulmate will still be a runner. In some cases they will drop off the face of the earth, out of the blue, without even a warning or conversation. Communication ceases, they won’t see you and may even can block you from social media. So when the soulmate relationship should be building a strong foundation, the resisting of the bond creates instability, causing the relationship to go into soulmate limbo. Please check our other article, Soulmate Limbo Sucks, to gain some insight in how to deal with this issue.
Soulmates are often very fiery, and both their love and their arguments will be infused with passion. The levels of love and affection are often matched by the levels of acting out and fighting. Disagreeing on such levels also causes a lot of instability in the relationship. They can do things to each other that you would swear people who love each other could possibly do. On the flip side, they forgive each other for behaviors that others would seem unforgivable.
They may themselves be struggling with the intensity of the relationship so it’s very possible they understand what the other is going through. Since many do not want to lose their soulmate, they let them get away with anything and everything. They are afraid if they take a stand and insist they air out their differences in more healthy ways, their soulmate may leave. What they don’t seem to get, no matter how many times we explain it, is that if they allow bad behavior without consequences, it will be recurring, and become much worse.
This causes the relationship stagnate and this instability does a lot of damage. What they are trying to save they are actually causing to deteriorate. Their worst fear, losing their soulmate, is going to manifest because they won’t do the right thing for themselves and the relationship.
When a relationship is unhealthy it gets to a point where it is mostly negative and often ends. In every relationship the couple is supposed to set healthy boundaries and enforce them. If they do not, the relationship gets more and more dysfunctional and unstable. It has no choice but to eventually come crashing down around them. Drama, acting out, cheating, game playing, and staying in a previous relationship are all causes of soulmate instability. Those bad behaviors and actions need to be changed or the relationship will never be the harmonious one they both know it can be.
Valentine’s Day without a soulmate can make many people feel depressed, especially if they have been single for a while or have recently ended a relationship. They see happy couples all around them, ads for Valentine gifts all over the media, and wonder why they are spending Valentine’s Day without a soulmate. They wonder how many more Valentine’s Days will pass before a soulmate enters their life and they no longer spend Valentine’s Day alone.
It can be both frustrating and depressing. You have gotten your career on track, taken good care of yourself, have your finances in order and feel the only thing missing in your life is a stable soulmate relationship. Well where the hell are they? What is taking so long? Did they get lost?
As we have discussed numerous times, soulmate relationships are not just about romance, but learning life lessons and growing as individuals as well as a couple. You may believe 1000% the time is right to meet your soulmate but the universe may not. Being unable to control if and when your soulmate shows up is a hard pill to swallow. People do not like waiting in general, especially when we feel we are ready to go. When a soulmate does not show up for you, you feel as if the universe is abandoning or ignoring you. Some people wind up very angry and bitter about it and end up being angry and God or the Universe.
It doesn’t seem fair and you don’t think its fair. You see the commercials of blissful couples celebrating Valentine’s Day together and want to smash the television to pieces. The stores have been flooded, in many cases, since the day after Christmas advertising red, white and pink goodies for their loved ones. Even go to the grocery shopping is not a safe haven for your emotions as their entrances are flooded with Valentine’s Day goodies, flowers and stuffed animals. There seems to be no escape.
All of this over the top, in your face, Valentine’s Day over-commercialism, makes many people feel like they are a loser, not good enough or being punished in some way. The way to deal with all of this nonsense is by putting it into perspective. First of all, the universe doesn’t create soulmate connections for the sake of Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day was created in Victorian times, not by the universe, so it really is not their concern. The universe is also not here to be Cupid and just put together blissfully happy couples. That’s not really their job.
Soulmate relationships are usually tumultuous, and in many ways a series of tests. These tests are HARD. And if/until both soulmates pass them, there is a lot of drama and a lot less romance. You have to earn the happily every after. Valentine’s Day is often referred to as a retail holiday which has nothing to do with a spiritual connection. Remember it only lasts for 24-hours, and most of the people receiving Valentine’s Day tokens, gifts or flowers from their ‘loved ones’ are doing so out of obligation, threats, and the over-commercialization of a day that Hallmark rakes in the $$$- cha-ching!!!
For soulmates that get it right, every day is Valentine’s Day. Don’t lose hope, just don’t focus on the Valentine’s Day you may be spending alone, because there is always next year. Keep your chin up and keep the faith that one day you will be with your soulmate on Valentine’s Day! These years, do something to special for yourself and celebrate YOU!
Leaving a bad soulmate relationship is something many people are unwilling to do. They feel they would rather stay in a bad soulmate relationship, refusing to leave, in the hopes it will get better. Leaving their soulmate is out of the question for many people. What if leaving a bad soulmate relationship is the only way to save it? What if leaving is the right thing to do or the only thing to do to create positive change?
This may seem like a foreign concept to many people. How can leaving a bad soulmate relationship actually be a positive thing? The answer is easy. Many people are afraid of leaving a bad relationship because they feel that leaving is final. They may let someone break up with them 400 times and let them back 400 times but they don’t think someone would let them back or want them back. If you ask us, that’s pretty ridiculous.
If you wind up leaving a bad soulmate relationship because your soulmate won’t get with the program, how is it your fault you left? Are you implying your soulmate is too stupid to know their behavior wasn’t pushing you away and that eventually you might leave? Your soulmate isn’t that stupid, they know they deserve to have you leave them.
The truth of the matter is you don’t believe your soulmate will care if you wind up leaving. You are insecure. You believe they will be happy without you and move on quickly to someone else. That alone is enough of a reason to leave. Why on earth would you stay in a relationship that makes you feel that way? How could you be that stupid to think you will stay together if your soulmate doesn’t care if you end it?
The longer you stay, the less attractive you will become to your soulmate. When you allow someone to treat you badly, it doesn’t make them respect you. It doesn’t prove your love for them. It makes them see you as their victim, as insecure, and someone they cannot take seriously. Their treatment of you will only get worse.
You may think if you stay instead of leaving a bad soulmate relationship, they may wake up one day and realize how important you are to them. Well, how many days have you given them already to test your theory? What are you going to do to wake them up?
Sometimes leaving a bad soulmate relationship can remind someone how much they need you. Leaving doesn’t always mean you have to end the relationship. You can physically leave, by being less affectionate. You can emotionally withdraw as a way of leaving. You can focus more on yourself and stop making the relationship and your soulmate’s nonsense a priority. Withdrawing or pulling back your attention can be an effective way of leaving. It could be as simple as not initiating contact, or begging to see them, or complaining about not spending enough time together.
At some point, leaving a bad soulmate relationship could be the best thing that happens to you as a couple. Sometimes it is the lesson your soulmate needs to learn to move forward in a more positive and healthy way. You will learn from this experience as well.