Soulmate sabotage happens all the time, for various reasons. Depending on the couple, one or both soulmates may sabotage their future relationship. Why, you may ask, would a soulmate commit soulmate sabotage? Many people are waiting patiently, and impatiently, for their soulmate. So why on earth, when they finally appear, would they sabotage this relationship and risk their future together?
There are so many reasons why soulmate sabotage occurs. The foundation of a soulmate relationship is supposed to faith, not fear. When fear, in all its ugly glory takes over, many soulmates will sabotage the relationship on purpose, in order to run away from it. Wether it is breaking up with a soulmate or being so destructive that their soulmate breaks up with them, the intention was clearly there. They want the relationship to end for whatever fear-based reason.
There are also many other soulmate couples who are behaving in ways that will ruin their relationship but engaging in soulmate sabotage. The difference is, these people don’t want the relationship damaged or destroyed. However, they fail to realize their behaviors are sabotaging the relationship. For those, we have written 10 examples of soulmate sabotage in an effort to bring awareness before things get too bad.
Top 10 Signs of Soulmate Sabotage
1) Having unrealistic expectations. So many people think soulmates are like couples in fairy tales. They meet, and then live happily ever after. Nothing could be further from the truth. Soulmates have important lessons to learn and hurdles to get over. However, sometimes a soulmate will have such high expectations that it is actually a form of sabotage. They expect their soulmate to be perfect. They expect they will never argue with their soulmate. They expect their soulmate to agree with them on everything. This is not reality, it is fantasy. Be realistic about your soulmate, otherwise you could be unknowingly sabotaging your relationship.
2) Being too passive, or always the peacemaker, is another way a soulmate can sabotage the relationship. You may think you are doing it for the benefit of the relationship, but in truth, you are not. We are all capable of saying I’m sorry, and we are all in the wrong sometimes, and need to accept that. It is not your job to keep your soulmate from growing and becoming a better person. That is more damaging than you think. You should have enough faith in your soulmate connection and your soulmate than you do.
3) Another form of soulmate sabotage is when you do not address problems, and fix them, before taking your relationship to another level. What was a problem while you were dating, will more than likely be a problem when you live together. That problem, if not corrected, will still be there if you get married or start a family. Don’t move forward with these problems. Deal with them and then move forward.
4) Focusing too much on chemistry and attraction, and not real compatibility, is another example of soulmate sabotage. Sure, the sex may be great and the chemistry intense, but that is not enough to keep you together forever. It is also not a way to fix your problems.
5) Being too melodramatic or a drama queen (or drama king) is an all too common characteristic of soulmate sabotage. Constant drama only causes long-term damage. It doesn’t make for long-term bliss. Get rid of the drama and don’t tolerate it. It has no place in a happy soulmate relationship, only a dysfunctional one.
6) Another example of soulmate sabotage is when you constantly break up over stupid, inconsequential things. That is totally disrespectful to your soulmate and the relationship itself. Your connection was a gift from the universe. If you bought someone a gift and they disrespected it, how happy would YOU be? Would you ever give them a gift again? Don’t be ungrateful for the gift you have it given, as that gift can be taken away from you.
7) Constantly keeping score is another great way to sabotage your soulmate relationship. How does feeling the need to constantly “one up” your soulmate create harmony? It doesn’t, so knock it off.
8) Always needing to be right is another top form of soulmate sabotage. You don’t need to always be right. You don’t always need to go out of your way to prove you are right. That is one of your soulmate lessons obviously. Take your ego down a notch before it’s too late.
9) Being too comfortable with your soulmate can sabotage your relationship. You may think you can do or say anything you want and get away with it because of your connection. Not so. Don’t give your soulmate the worst of who you are. They deserve the best, not the worst. Why would you treat anyone else better than you do your soulmate? How could you not think that isn’t a form of sabotage?
10) Being too needy, clingy, or not giving personal space or privacy is detrimental to your soulmate relationship. Being too needy or clingy makes a person feel smothered after a while. People that feel smothered feel the urge to break free. You should also trust them enough to have a respectful level of privacy. If you don’t, the reason for that distrust needs to be addressed.
Hopefully this will be a wake up call to some soulmates who are sabotaging their relationships without even knowing it and start using corrective action to bring harmony back to their relationships.
When is it time to give your soulmate a time-out? Is there ever a good reason to give your soulmate relationship a time-out? Since soulmates are supposed have a connection, how can a time-out be the right thing for them? How could a time-out help a soulmate relationship? Soulmates can benefit from time-outs as it can actually reinforce their connection.
Because of their deep connection, a time-out can be just what they need. Emotions run so very high in soulmate relationships. The love to the extreme and they can battle to the extreme. Everything is extreme when it comes to soulmates. The love and affection are on a higher level, and the fighting is just as intense. So when soulmates are at odds, it could be a very good idea to go to separate corners for a while.
Soulmates may need a time-out to shift gears from wanting to hurt one another to missing one another terribly. They need those feelings of anger or hurt to die down, and love to surge again. When soulmates fight they can act like bitter enemies where you would almost think they hate one another. Often if you give them a few days apart, they are bawling like babies because they miss each other so much. They often then could care less about or don’t even remember what they were fighting about.
So yes, there is a good time to give your soul mate a time-out. If your soul mate is acting out or acting the fool is may be the perfect time to give them a time-out. If you can’t reason with them, or they are looking to fight then let them alone. Let them know you are not going to be around them when they are acting like this. Instead of letting them wind you up over something stupid or irrational, give them a time-out.
They are obviously looking for you to sink to their level, and nothing good will come from that. Don’t go there. Do something constructive instead of destructive. Of course many soulmates are terrified that a time-out will lead to a break up. This is just silly. Do you think a time-out will do more damage than is being currently done? Do you really think they will stop loving you? Love doesn’t work that way. Do you really think they will get over you and find someone else? In a few days? Again, that is just silly and melodramatic. No one falls out of love and in love with someone else in a matter of days. Put your fears aside and do the right thing. When it is time to give your soulmate a time-out, then do so.
Don’t confuse time-outs with on/off relationships. If you are giving your soulmate time-outs constantly then there is clearly a bigger problem that must be addressed. Some people do use time-outs as power plays and to create an on/off situation. That is relationship dysfunction 101 and not a good idea at all. Check out our article about on/off soulmate relationships here.
When giving a time-out, do so in a calm manner, or as calm as possible. Let them know how long you will be gone, or how long you want them to leave. Let them know this is not the end of your relationship, but an effort to make things better. Let them know you will be think a lot about things, and that you both need time to get your heads together and your hearts in alignment. Tell them you are doing things for the good of the relationship, not to hurt it. Agree to not have any communication until the date you agree on. Make a plan to meet for lunch or dinner on that date. A time-out may be just the thing to give your soulmate relationship a much needed reboot.
Is your soulmate relationship driving you crazy? There are many people who sadly allow their soulmate to drive them crazy when it really can be avoided for the most part. The best way to keep your soulmate relationship from driving you crazy is to keep the faith. If you really believe you have found your soulmate, and that you have a connection, keep the faith that you will get through this with the universe’s help.
If you begin asking yourself questions like, what is your soulmate doing, are we even soulmates, then you don’t really have faith, do you? If you don’t have the faith needed in your soulmate relationship, how can you expect your partner to? When you lose faith in what you have, you lose the power you need to get through the bad times. Soulmate relationships have a lot of challenges, and you have to draw strength from the connection you share, not break it down. Even if your soulmate is the one doing the damage, make sure you don’t join them.
You shouldn’t be driving each other crazy, or letting the soulmate relationship drive you crazy. You should just chalk it up to the fact these relationships stir up things within us that need to be addressed. Look at what the universe is showing both you and your soulmate. Separate the lessons. Don’t be so busy worrying about whether or not your soulmate will learn theirs that you are not addressing your own. When you avoid learning yours, you enable your soulmate to keep on driving you crazy.
Let’s say your soulmate pulls a disappearing act now and then. First, look at the lessons you both could need to learn. Your soulmate’s could be that they have to face problems and not run from them. Yours could be that you have to set and enforce boundaries so that your soulmate needs to understand they can’t keep doing this.
Without you learning yours, how can they learn theirs?
You actually make it harder for them to learn theirs if you don’t learn yours. If you prevent your soulmate from learning their lesson, your behavior contributes to their craziness. So, time to educate and empower yourself. If you do that, you set the wheels in motion for them to rise to your level.
Don’t let crazy behavior make you question what you know to be true. Don’t obsess as to the why and the how they could behave this way. Just chalk it up to them acting crazy, and let them do it solo. Let them work through what they need to and keep yourself sane. You know the truth. You know your love is real and your connection is real. When they question it, they act crazy. When you question it, you will act crazy. There is no way that two crazy people can have a sane relationship, so stop it.
You may need a bit of a pep talk every now and then, but don’t talk to people who you know will be driving you crazy. Keep a level head and do what you need to do, and chances are your soulmate will do the same. Regardless of how long it may take, you will get through the process a lot easier if you stay sane than let it bring you to your knees. You may not have a choice as to how long it can take for your soulmate to get their act together, but it is your choice how you handle it, and what you do while you wait it out.
Does your soulmate act like a child? Are you tired of feeling like you have a child you have to cater to rather than an adult you can depend on in your relationship? Is your soulmate rude, or even nasty to you for no reason? Does your soulmate act like a child and resort to behaviors like being spiteful, vindictive or immature when they are upset or don’t get their way? Does your soulmate act like a spoiled child and want the entire world, and your relationship to revolve around just them?
If your soulmate does things on purpose to provoke an argument, or make one worse, it’s time you put a stop to this behavior. You cannot allow someone who acts like a child to be in control of your relationship or they are going to ruin it. Sometimes, in soulmate relationships, you have to resort to tough love. When you are with a soulmate, it stands to reason you want to show them love and support. You don’t want to have to call them out or create conflict, but sometimes you have to make an effort to fix the problem. You should know when you are at a crisis point in your relationship and you need to act aggressively, not passively, at that point. Being passive isn’t going to get you anywhere, and it won’t get positive results. It will just enable your soulmate to continue to act like a child.
A child, not an adult, goes way overboard when they don’t need to. When you smile at a waiter or waitress, your adult partner should not fly into a jealous rage. It will not cause an them to start making nasty comments towards you just because you were being polite or civil to a member of the opposite sex. Jealousy and insecurity are not excuses for adults to behave like children. You shouldn’t be breaking up every time they fly into a rage for no good reason.
If you can’t talk to your soulmate and express yourself for fear they will get upset and go crazy, then they are acting like a child. Adult relationships have adult problems, and you need two adults willing and ready to tackle those problems. Putting your emotions on the back burner isn’t going to fix anything. If you feel you deserve an apology, then hold them accountable for that apology. Don’t smooth things over yourself, and don’t let them off the hook by using the amnesia trick either.
Don’t let sex be the only way they “fix” things. You should not forgive and forget what they have done just because some time has passed without an apology from them. Don’t chime in and apologize for your reactions to what they did either. Make them take responsibility and show remorse for what they have done wrong. Adults make amends when they are truly sorry and don’t keep making the same mistakes.
Your soulmate needs to act like an adult, handle their own finances and be able to stand on their own two feet. It is not your responsibility to take care of yourself and them. They need to pitch in and do the work neither of you want to do, rather than just wanting to play and have fun all the time. Running off to hang out with their friends or focus on their hobbies instead of doing the things they need to do needs to stop.
Don’t let your soulmate off the hook, it keeps them from growing up. It won’t be a quick fix, but there are a lot of things you can do when your soulmate acts like a child and you want them to act like an adult.
Comparing soulmate relationships can be a big mistake. If you compare your soulmate relationship those in movies, television shows, or romance novels you are setting yourself up for a very frustrating experience. In the movies, television, and romance novels, soulmate relationships are often taken over the top and almost always have happy endings. Comparing the soulmate relationships you see everywhere else to your own soulmate experience can make you question the validity of your soulmate connection. Comparing your soul mate relationship to those of friends or family is a bad idea. Why?
Because just like snowflakes, each soulmate relationship is different. Additionally, timing is different in all soulmate relationships. Some soulmates meet early in life, some later in life. Some soulmates meet while they are both single, and some can meet while one or both are with different partners. Some soulmates meet and get involved in a relationship right away while some may not start their relationship for years. There are lessons to learn in every soulmate relationship. The changes and evolution of each soulmate relationship is different as well. To compare each journey and path of soulmates is a waste of time.
Comparing soulmate relationships can also cause undue stress and confusion. What methods may have worked to get one soulmate relationship on track may not work other soulmate relationships. Some soulmate relationships do not work out in the end, and some do. It is up to each individual in the couple to determine the success of their soulmate union. This can’t be defined by comparing yourselves to another pair of soulmates, or every soulmate, just the two in the relationship.
Some people will have more than one soulmate relationship in their lifetime, while others do not. If your first encounter with a soulmate did not work out, you may have the chance for another one. If you do have two, or more, soulmate relationships, comparing them is probably not a good idea either. The problems, issues, lessons, and path of each connection will be different. It is best to keep the experiences separate as well. There may be lessons you have learned from a previous soulmate relationship that of course you will not have to learn in the present one. But always remember, there are lessons to be learned and needed growth for each and every one.
When you are in the throes of soulmate drama, comparing your soulmate relationship to one that has weathered the storm will only make you feel worse. It could give you hope for the potential of your own soulmate relationship, if you allow it. But if comparing your soulmate relationship that is in tatters to one that is in bliss and harmony to make you miserable, it is best to refrain from comparison.
You may have lost your patience at this point because you have not yet met your soulmate. When you compare your lack of a soulmate to those who have one, you can become bitter and angry. A sense of self entitlement is not going to attract your soulmate to you. It may attract dysfunctional relationships to you, or none at all. Bitterness, anger, impatience, and entitlement is not the vibration you want to be giving off. Remember, not all of us will get a soulmate in this lifetime. To think you are entitled to one, rather than being gifted one, could be a major mistake on your part. The universe does not owe you a soulmate. Humble yourself and you may just get one.