Leaving a bad soulmate relationship is something many people are unwilling to do. They feel they would rather stay in a bad soulmate relationship, refusing to leave, in the hopes it will get better. Leaving their soulmate is out of the question for many people. What if leaving a bad soulmate relationship is the only way to save it? What if leaving is the right thing to do or the only thing to do to create positive change?
This may seem like a foreign concept to many people. How can leaving a bad soulmate relationship actually be a positive thing? The answer is easy. Many people are afraid of leaving a bad relationship because they feel that leaving is final. They may let someone break up with them 400 times and let them back 400 times but they don’t think someone would let them back or want them back. If you ask us, that’s pretty ridiculous.
If you wind up leaving a bad soulmate relationship because your soulmate won’t get with the program, how is it your fault you left? Are you implying your soulmate is too stupid to know their behavior wasn’t pushing you away and that eventually you might leave? Your soulmate isn’t that stupid, they know they deserve to have you leave them.
The truth of the matter is you don’t believe your soulmate will care if you wind up leaving. You are insecure. You believe they will be happy without you and move on quickly to someone else. That alone is enough of a reason to leave. Why on earth would you stay in a relationship that makes you feel that way? How could you be that stupid to think you will stay together if your soulmate doesn’t care if you end it?
The longer you stay, the less attractive you will become to your soulmate. When you allow someone to treat you badly, it doesn’t make them respect you. It doesn’t prove your love for them. It makes them see you as their victim, as insecure, and someone they cannot take seriously. Their treatment of you will only get worse.
You may think if you stay instead of leaving a bad soulmate relationship, they may wake up one day and realize how important you are to them. Well, how many days have you given them already to test your theory? What are you going to do to wake them up?
Sometimes leaving a bad soulmate relationship can remind someone how much they need you. Leaving doesn’t always mean you have to end the relationship. You can physically leave, by being less affectionate. You can emotionally withdraw as a way of leaving. You can focus more on yourself and stop making the relationship and your soulmate’s nonsense a priority. Withdrawing or pulling back your attention can be an effective way of leaving. It could be as simple as not initiating contact, or begging to see them, or complaining about not spending enough time together.
At some point, leaving a bad soulmate relationship could be the best thing that happens to you as a couple. Sometimes it is the lesson your soulmate needs to learn to move forward in a more positive and healthy way. You will learn from this experience as well.
There are rules you can follow to have a positive soulmate experience. Growth is hard, and so are the challenges involved in a soulmate relationship. There are, of course, some rules you can adhere to help you have a more positive soulmate experience than a negative one.
The first rule for a positive soulmate experience is to have faith and trust in your connection to your soulmate. Instead of thinking you are insane, that the connection couldn’t possibly be real, you should understand that you are a rational person, and the reason you feel so connected to this person is because they are your soulmate. Don’t let the connection scare you. Sure, it makes you vulnerable but it should also give you more strength than you ever had before.
Even if your soulmate is going through denial, don’t follow along side them. Remain calm and steadfast, and have faith that they will gain acceptance of the bond between the two of you. If you have the faith to believe in soulmates, have the belief in them when you have found yours. There is a reason you came into one another’s lives, so have faith that the universe will reveal those reasons to you both.
The second rule for a positive soulmate experience is having the strength to know that if you are doing the right thing, the universe will reward you. You don’t have to suffer, you don’t have to give in, and you don’t have to do all the work. The universe doesn’t want you to do that.
Another rule for a positive soulmate relationship is to stop thinking that your soulmate doesn’t share your connection or feel it the way you do. Just because the two of you are reacting to it differently doesn’t mean the connection is only one-sided. Sitting around worrying that your soulmate doesn’t love you, will leave you forever, or has broken your connection for no good reason, is giving into fear. The connection between the two of you, and the fact that you feel it so strongly for this person should assure you that they are in the same boat as you. It goes both ways. We realize they may not be acting like they feel the same way that you do, but that is only acting. Don’t act out alongside them.
The next rule for a positive soulmate experience is to stop being so concerned with when your soulmate is going to learn their lessons and come around. It is better for you to focus on what negative things about yourself you are having to face right now and deal with them. You need to make changes. Don’t think that you don’t. Find out what they are and get to work. If your soulmate has created distance between the two of you, instead of worrying and wondering if they are learning anything, use the time productively to learn what you are supposed to. It is NEVER only one soulmate that is supposed to make changes and grow. It is always both.
Soulmate relationships often do have some negative and some positive experiences. If you focus on the positive, and behave in a positive way, you have a more positive soulmate experience.
Has your soulmate made you depressed? When you met your soulmate, you thought you finally found “the one” and thought it would be smooth sailing from now on. The last think you thought was that this relationship would have made you depressed. You thought when your soulmate and you got together your interactions would be filled with nothing but romance and happiness. The connection between you is so strong, and the chemistry is unbelievable. You never felt like this before, and you knew this relationship was something different in a good way.
But now you feel like you are being tortured, and you cannot understand what this is all about. Soulmates are not supposed to make you depressed, right? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels, aren’t they? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels. The problem though is that in order to take you to higher levels, change has to occur.
Rarely is change easy, and change is also often painful. To get to the soulmate high takes some hard work. Being depressed also sometimes comes along for the ride. You may think you are excusing bad behavior or actions and taking the high road but you are actually doing the opposite. When something comes up between you and your soulmate it is one of your tests. It is revealing something about both of you that needs change for the betterment of your relationship.
If you let it go, and your soulmate thinks they got away with it, you both failed. You didn’t do something to help the relationship, you actually played a part in hurting it. These tests are going to show up, and they will repeat themselves until you both learn. Your soulmate may have made you depressed, but you may have also assisted them in doing so. You may be responsible in some way, shape or form. Let change start with you.
Some people in soulmate relationships feel depressed because they feel powerless. They don’t know how to stop the actions or words that their soul ate uses to hurt them. They feel unable to make it stop and change and they are miserable and depressed. But if you keep doing the same thing or saying the same thing as your reaction to those words and actions, of course the dynamic is going to change. You are not powerless. You are afraid to do something different.
It is your fear that is controlling you, not your soul ate. Fearful people feel powerless. They also feel depressed. Take your power back and get rid of your fear. In doing so, you may also begin the process of getting rid of your depression as well. You should also see changes for the better in your relationship. You may get resistance at first, but stay strong and low positive changes to occur for you and your soul ate. Make the required effort, instead of the same thing that never works and only makes things worse.
Does your soulmate play the victim all the time? We all have played the victim at one point or another, but does your soulmate have a victim mentality? Do you always have to apologize because you are blamed for everything? Are you tired of defending yourself because you can’t seem to do what’s right? If your soulmate is playing the victim too often, you may need to point it out to them. You may also need to change the way you react and respond when they go into victim mode.
For instance, your soulmate is continually making excuses for their poor choices or mistakes. People that play the victim do not like to accept personal responsibility for anything. It is always the fault of someone else, something else, or something beyond their control. They simply do not want to say “I screwed up”. When your soulmate does this, stop accepting their excuses.
Let’s say your soulmate is late for a date. If their excuse is that there was an accident on the freeway that caused them to be late, don’t just shrug it off. Instead, say “Well, we have all been caught in traffic sometimes.” You are at least letting them know this isn’t about THEM. Casually mention that the lesson learned here is to allow extra time in case of traffic next time. If they don’t like it, who cares. You are simply stating fact.
If your soulmate is constantly telling you about all the people who have done them wrong, don’t act overly sympathetic. Don’t feed into it. Why? Eventually you will join the ranks of one of those people. Keep in mind you are also missing the other half of the story. While there may be a slim chance that many people are mistreating them, more than likely they have played their part in all of it. Start turning the conversation to what they have learned from this experience. Point out that since this seems to happen so often they need to ensure it doesn’t keep happening. Ask them what they can do and what is in their power to take control of the situation. This at least brings the focus back towards them taking some responsibility, and you are not feeding their victim mentality.
If your soulmate keeps pointing out over and over all that you have done wrong (because they are holding grudges) try to put a stop to that too. Let them know that if you have forgiven them for their wrongs, it is time they let yours go to. If they don’t, they are holding your relationship back. Put the responsibility for that back on them. If you know you have done all you can to apologize, yet they won’t let it go, tell them they may need professional help if the relationship is to continue. Tell them at this point it is out of your control, you have done all you can, and although you wish you could help them, you can’t. They won’t like this at all. But it will be a huge step in teaching them that you are no longer going to be the bad guy all the time.
Remember, even soulmates can try to put the blame on you, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Don’t let them always play the victim at your expense.
Soulmate connections come with strong emotions and if not dealt with properly, tons of drama. Soulmate relationships are not like romance novels and fairy tales for most soulmate couples. Many times soulmates expect smooth sailing relationships where everything clicks and they get along perfectly, but it seldom it happens this way. Instead, they get something that resembles a nightmare. They did not expect the acting out, the fighting, the denial or the obstacles and challenges. They believe if this was part of the universe’s great plan for their lives, the plan would have been a lot more positive a guaranteed happy ending. Many people who are experiencing soulmate drama believe the universe is actually punishing them. Many people have asked us what could they have possibly done that was so bad that the universe brought this heartache into their lives.
Why does the universe bring soulmates that come with so much drama? Why does something that could make us so happy, instead bring us so much misery? Why would the universe’s plan turn out so badly? Couldn’t they have picked a soulmate who didn’t come with tons of drama? The universe did select and choose a soul mate for you, and you for them. The universe was in control of that choice and making sure you crossed paths to establish your connection. And then the universe backed off. It is up to each of the individual soulmates to create the soulmate relationship. Sadly, many, if not most, create one with drama.
So why are soulmate relationships often filled with drama? The intense emotions and longing that come with soulmate relationships support the creation of soulmate drama. The emotion of love is not the cause of drama in soulmate relationships, but fear. Why would a couple experiencing such a connection be filled with fear instead of faith? Soulmate relationships are filled with triggers that set off deep-rooted insecurities and issues we have buried or chosen to ignore. If we don’t face what we need to change we open the door to negativity and drama.
For instance, let’s say your soulmate has trust issues. Upon meeting they feel the instant connection and are aware there is something special between you. They may even acknowledge you are soulmates. You might think that should help them overcome their trust issues, right? Yes and no. If they have faith in the connection, they trust the connection and it is easier for them to trust you. This may be one of the lessons the universe wants them to learn and what needs to be addressed and dealt with within for their personal growth. If on the other hand they do not have faith in the connection, they won’t trust the connection, they will fear it. As that fear grows, their ability to trust you grows, and the drama grows.
With all soulmate relationships a certain amount of drama can be expected and no cause for alarm. If a soulmate relationship has more drama than a reality show, it is time to do some damage control. The less drama in your soulmate relationship, the happier you both will be. Because you are caught up in the drama, you may not be able to see your way out of it. We can help you steer clear of drama and get your relationship on the right track.