Fears and Insecurities
Has your soulmate made you depressed? When you met your soulmate, you thought you finally found “the one” and thought it would be smooth sailing from now on. The last think you thought was that this relationship would have made you depressed. You thought when your soulmate and you got together your interactions would be filled with nothing but romance and happiness. The connection between you is so strong, and the chemistry is unbelievable. You never felt like this before, and you knew this relationship was something different in a good way.
But now you feel like you are being tortured, and you cannot understand what this is all about. Soulmates are not supposed to make you depressed, right? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels, aren’t they? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels. The problem though is that in order to take you to higher levels, change has to occur.
Rarely is change easy, and change is also often painful. To get to the soulmate high takes some hard work. Being depressed also sometimes comes along for the ride. You may think you are excusing bad behavior or actions and taking the high road but you are actually doing the opposite. When something comes up between you and your soulmate it is one of your tests. It is revealing something about both of you that needs change for the betterment of your relationship.
If you let it go, and your soulmate thinks they got away with it, you both failed. You didn’t do something to help the relationship, you actually played a part in hurting it. These tests are going to show up, and they will repeat themselves until you both learn. Your soulmate may have made you depressed, but you may have also assisted them in doing so. You may be responsible in some way, shape or form. Let change start with you.
Some people in soulmate relationships feel depressed because they feel powerless. They don’t know how to stop the actions or words that their soul ate uses to hurt them. They feel unable to make it stop and change and they are miserable and depressed. But if you keep doing the same thing or saying the same thing as your reaction to those words and actions, of course the dynamic is going to change. You are not powerless. You are afraid to do something different.
It is your fear that is controlling you, not your soul ate. Fearful people feel powerless. They also feel depressed. Take your power back and get rid of your fear. In doing so, you may also begin the process of getting rid of your depression as well. You should also see changes for the better in your relationship. You may get resistance at first, but stay strong and low positive changes to occur for you and your soul ate. Make the required effort, instead of the same thing that never works and only makes things worse.
Your soulmate may not be sure of his feelings. Why? When soulmates meet, the level of emotions that surface are like nothing they have felt before. Think about, how often in life do you experience a new feeling or a new level of feeling? How rare is that? But when soulmates meet, feelings they have been able to control and get a handle on are out of control and taking over.
Over the course of our lives we have learned how to handle our anger (some of us better than others), jealousy, depression and almost every other emotion. It was a process that took time and experience. When it comes to the emotions soulmates experience there is nothing for them to draw from. It is all uncharted territory.
They may have heard or read that this could happen to them, but when it does, it almost seems unreal. It makes no sense to them logically, they wonder what happened to them and why they are experiencing these intense feelings. Is it any wonder they are confused about how they feel? It’s not just men who get confused, women have the same reaction and often find themselves by the feelings they have for their soulmate.
Between denial and attempts to use logic, when a soulmate is unsure of his or her feelings, the relationship can take a serious downturn. Everything may have been going along swimmingly, and then out of nowhere they may tell you they are unsure of how they feel. Wait a minute. Wasn’t this the same guy that was expressing his feelings for you the entire time? Didn’t he just say yesterday how happy he was? Yup, same guy. The thing is, he isn’t unsure of how he feels, he just doesn’t understand it.
Your soulmate may not believe what he is feeling is real, or that his feelings will last. They came out of nowhere and were strong right from the get go. Many soulmates assume those feelings may lessen over time. Even if they don’t, they may fear the other person’s emotions do not match theirs. We cannot tell you the countless amount of times clients have asked us if their soulmate has the same feelings they do!! They cannot believe how much they feel, so of course it is hard for them to believe someone could have that level of emotion for them. All of this leads to confusion.
Your soulmate may need some time away from you to sort out their feelings. It is very difficult to hear your soulmate express they are unsure of their feelings and then distance themselves from you. Many people panic, worrying they will never hear from their soulmate again. They worry that their soulmate’s feelings will disappear during this time apart and that their relationship will come to an end. It is not up to you to convince your soulmate has feelings for you. It is also not your job to help your soulmate become more sure of their connection to you. Trying to do so will only push them further away and they will do everything to win that debate with you. Their feelings are for them to sort out, and the truth will come out in the end.
Stalking your soulmate though social media is becoming quite common. People stalk every photo, every like, comment and interaction. Many people set up fake accounts to stalk a soulmate online because they want to do it without anyone knowing what they are up to. They believe they will find valuable, pertinent information on their soulmate social media accounts. Many also believe they can discover what their soulmate is trying to hide on social media profiles.
In some cases, checking your soulmate’s social media accounts is not a bad idea if done periodically. In many other cases, stalking your soulmate through social media is an epic waste of time. It can actually do more harm than good, because so much posted on social media is simply not reality or the whole story. In many cases it can be complete lies. So are you really gaining anything by stalking your soulmate though social media? In most cases, you are not.
In most cases you are being both self-destructive and destructive to your soul mate relationship. If your soulmate left you for whatever reason, stalking them through social media is a waste of time. You may want to know what they are up to, but you don’t need to. The reason they ended your relationship won’t be found on social media, and it won’t be fixed by what you find on social media. They won’t alert their social media accounts that they are coming back to you before they let you know. The only thing you will discover on their social media accounts are the stupid things they are doing, posting and liking. You don’t need that information. You may want that information, but you don’t need it.
Do you really need to see the latest pictures of their family, friends, or dinner? No. But you want to, don’t you? Well, you need to stop. This is not what you should be doing during your time apart. During a soulmate separation you are supposed to work on your issues and address them, not live your life by watching theirs. It is counter productive and will get you nowhere. It’s also and epic waste of your time.
If they are not coming back, stalking your soulmate though social media keeps you from moving on. If they are, you have not done the work you need to do to make the relationship better. You have not evolved to a better version of yourself. All you are doing by stalking their social media is keeping yourself weak, over-emotional, and depressed. What your soulmate is doing with out you doesn’t matter. It only matters when they come back. If they aren’t in your life, don’t make your life revolve around them. Make it revolve around YOU.
If your soulmate is presently in your life, it is not a bad idea to randomly check their social media accounts. People like to stir up trouble, and someone may be out to get in the way of your soulmate relationship. So a periodic check here and there is no big deal. But if you are stalking their social media accounts getting pissed off every time their ex, or some other member of the opposite sex, has any interaction with them you need to stop. If they give you so much reason to be that suspicious or insecure you need to deal with those reasons, instead of spending so much time on their social media accounts. You will never solve the problem that way.
Social media often causes more harm than good in peoples lives. People tend to over analyze everything they see, and also believe it is somehow real. I cannot tell you how many times clients have told us they saw a picture of their soulmate smiling in a picture so they must be happy. Are you serious? Name one person you know that does not smile when their picture is being taken. Other than mug shots, everyone smiles when their picture is being taken, or attempts to look happy. So where does a smile in a picture mean squat? Apparently to those stalking their soulmate on social media is means TONS. Well, in reality it doesn’t mean a thing. So don’t believe everything you see on social media. Believe more in the words and actions of your soulmate. It all starts there. That is where your focus should lie. Stay away from the social media, and pay closer attention to the reality of your relationship.
It is easy to see why you could fear losing your soulmate. Your soulmate relationship can either make you fearless, or very afraid. If your soulmate is coming from a place of fear, they will transfer that same fear to you. We must consider this because soulmates do mirror and reflect to each other. Of course you will have different fears and different reactions to those fears. More than likely if your soulmate is bringing fear to the relationship it will manifest within you as well. Here is an example of what we are talking about:
Let’s say your soulmate has been through a traumatic relationship prior to being with you. Although you are nothing like their past partner, they may see relationships as mostly negative. They may feel that showing real emotion is a weakness. At first, when they meet you, they are open. They share their feelings with you and make you feel loved and comfortable. They speak of your future together in glowing, positive ways. They feel so happy to have you in their life and in turn have made you happy as well. You and your soulmate are on the same page. But then your soulmate begins to dwell on their past relationship. He or she begins to fear that although your relationship is magical, what if it turns sour like their last relationship? Now the fear kicks in. They become genuinely afraid of how hurt they will be if this soulmate relationship takes a downward turn. Because they are afraid of losing their soulmate, they withdraw, either emotionally or physically. They start to tell themselves they need space from you in order to remain in control.
Now you have no idea what is going on with your soulmate internally. All you know is everything was going great and now they are acting like a different person. You go through every conversation, text, and email wondering what you may have done wrong. Now your imagination takes over and you begin to think “Did they find someone else?”. You let fear enter and then it takes root taking over your imagination. You begin to wonder if it was all an act on your soulmate’s part. Did they ever really care? Was it all in your head? Is this just a game to them? Now you get an attitude with your soulmate when you speak to them. You are both afraid of losing your soulmate at this point. The problem is, neither of you are handling it well.
If one, or both, of you doesn’t find a healthy, honest way of being afraid to lose your soul mate, it might just happen. Since both of you are afraid you are not making the best choices going forward. Without an honest discussion and clearing the air, the seeds of fear with only grow and grow.
Another problem is fear breeds lies. Instead of telling the truth, out come lies. If your soulmate is not ready to deal with his or her fear of losing you, they won’t express the truth about that to you. Instead, they will lie or make up excuses rather than let you know their deepest fear. You may also not be willing to express to your soulmate that you are afraid of losing them. Lies or excuses prevent soulmates from dealing with their fears. Until they deal with their fear it will only get bigger. So until your soulmate is ready to be honest with the real reason why they are screwing things up, you will only hear untruths. Don’t dwell on their excuses and lies like they want you to. If you have found yourself in a place where you have become afraid of losing your soulmate, don’t panic. Don’t react emotionally just yet. You need to focus on your faith in soulmates and the connection you share. When you find yourself fearing losing your soulmate, you need to remember your faith to prevent insecurities from building before you make a costly mistake.