Soulmate relationships can often hit a dead-end, leaving the soulmates realizing their connection is going nowhere. There are many reasons this can happen. Without the change and personal growth a soulmate relationship brings, no forward momentum can be achieved. How can you tell if you are soulmates at a dead-end?
Reasons Soulmate Relationships Hit aDead-End
1. Soulmates will be at a dead-end when one or both soulmates are in denial. If either of you are too busy denying the connection exists, there is little room for growth and forward movement. It is hard, but you have to wait for your soulmate to accept the connection between the two of you. When denying a soulmates connection, the one in denial often resorts to horrible behavior. They may say and do terrible things in order to convince you, and themselves that it isn’t real. This can be a very tough period to go through.
2. When one or both soulmates are afraid to end their other relationship, the soulmate relationship is at a dead-end. There is nowhere to go when your soulmate is still tied to someone else. Waiting for a soulmate to have the strength, bravery or balls to end it is annoying at best. Sometimes, but not always, ultimatums, backed up by action, can give them the kick in the butt they need.
3. If your soulmate has a drug or alcohol dependency problem, your relationship will be at a dead-end. First the dependency issue must be addressed and dealt with before the relationship can move forward. It is not time to be an enabler.
4. If your soulmate constantly runs from you and your connection, this is a clear sign you have reached a dead-end. Your relationship is constantly ended before it can reach new levels. You wind up taking two steps forward and three steps back. You are not getting anywhere. Fix the on/off problem or you will stay like a hamster on a wheel getting nowhere fast.
5. Another sign that soulmates are at a dead-end is when one or both is resorting to soulmate sabotage. Constantly checking each others connection, pushing boundaries, and seeing how much you can get away with is a bad pattern. Someone committing soulmate sabotage should not be allowed to repeat this pattern, because it keeps you both stuck. They will never stop committing soulmate sabotage either. They are using the wrong methods to give them the security they seek.
6. The last sign that soulmates are at a dead-end is all about time. If your soulmate is always too busy to see you, talk to you, or text you (even thought texting will NEVER be enough to maintain a connection) your relationship is at a standstill. You both need to be present in the relationship for it to move forward. You also both need to be a higher priority in each others lives as well.
It is important you are able to see when a soulmate relationship is coming to a dead-end. There are things that can be done, approaches that can be taken to get your soulmate relationship back on course. Sarah and Sophia are here to help.
Does your soulmate play the victim all the time? We all have played the victim at one point or another, but does your soulmate have a victim mentality? Do you always have to apologize because you are blamed for everything? Are you tired of defending yourself because you can’t seem to do what’s right? If your soulmate is playing the victim too often, you may need to point it out to them. You may also need to change the way you react and respond when they go into victim mode.
For instance, your soulmate is continually making excuses for their poor choices or mistakes. People that play the victim do not like to accept personal responsibility for anything. It is always the fault of someone else, something else, or something beyond their control. They simply do not want to say “I screwed up”. When your soulmate does this, stop accepting their excuses.
Let’s say your soulmate is late for a date. If their excuse is that there was an accident on the freeway that caused them to be late, don’t just shrug it off. Instead, say “Well, we have all been caught in traffic sometimes.” You are at least letting them know this isn’t about THEM. Casually mention that the lesson learned here is to allow extra time in case of traffic next time. If they don’t like it, who cares. You are simply stating fact.
If your soulmate is constantly telling you about all the people who have done them wrong, don’t act overly sympathetic. Don’t feed into it. Why? Eventually you will join the ranks of one of those people. Keep in mind you are also missing the other half of the story. While there may be a slim chance that many people are mistreating them, more than likely they have played their part in all of it. Start turning the conversation to what they have learned from this experience. Point out that since this seems to happen so often they need to ensure it doesn’t keep happening. Ask them what they can do and what is in their power to take control of the situation. This at least brings the focus back towards them taking some responsibility, and you are not feeding their victim mentality.
If your soulmate keeps pointing out over and over all that you have done wrong (because they are holding grudges) try to put a stop to that too. Let them know that if you have forgiven them for their wrongs, it is time they let yours go to. If they don’t, they are holding your relationship back. Put the responsibility for that back on them. If you know you have done all you can to apologize, yet they won’t let it go, tell them they may need professional help if the relationship is to continue. Tell them at this point it is out of your control, you have done all you can, and although you wish you could help them, you can’t. They won’t like this at all. But it will be a huge step in teaching them that you are no longer going to be the bad guy all the time.
Remember, even soulmates can try to put the blame on you, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. Don’t let them always play the victim at your expense.
Stalking your soulmate though social media is becoming quite common. People stalk every photo, every like, comment and interaction. Many people set up fake accounts to stalk a soulmate online because they want to do it without anyone knowing what they are up to. They believe they will find valuable, pertinent information on their soulmate social media accounts. Many also believe they can discover what their soulmate is trying to hide on social media profiles.
In some cases, checking your soulmate’s social media accounts is not a bad idea if done periodically. In many other cases, stalking your soulmate through social media is an epic waste of time. It can actually do more harm than good, because so much posted on social media is simply not reality or the whole story. In many cases it can be complete lies. So are you really gaining anything by stalking your soulmate though social media? In most cases, you are not.
In most cases you are being both self-destructive and destructive to your soul mate relationship. If your soulmate left you for whatever reason, stalking them through social media is a waste of time. You may want to know what they are up to, but you don’t need to. The reason they ended your relationship won’t be found on social media, and it won’t be fixed by what you find on social media. They won’t alert their social media accounts that they are coming back to you before they let you know. The only thing you will discover on their social media accounts are the stupid things they are doing, posting and liking. You don’t need that information. You may want that information, but you don’t need it.
Do you really need to see the latest pictures of their family, friends, or dinner? No. But you want to, don’t you? Well, you need to stop. This is not what you should be doing during your time apart. During a soulmate separation you are supposed to work on your issues and address them, not live your life by watching theirs. It is counter productive and will get you nowhere. It’s also and epic waste of your time.
If they are not coming back, stalking your soulmate though social media keeps you from moving on. If they are, you have not done the work you need to do to make the relationship better. You have not evolved to a better version of yourself. All you are doing by stalking their social media is keeping yourself weak, over-emotional, and depressed. What your soulmate is doing with out you doesn’t matter. It only matters when they come back. If they aren’t in your life, don’t make your life revolve around them. Make it revolve around YOU.
If your soulmate is presently in your life, it is not a bad idea to randomly check their social media accounts. People like to stir up trouble, and someone may be out to get in the way of your soulmate relationship. So a periodic check here and there is no big deal. But if you are stalking their social media accounts getting pissed off every time their ex, or some other member of the opposite sex, has any interaction with them you need to stop. If they give you so much reason to be that suspicious or insecure you need to deal with those reasons, instead of spending so much time on their social media accounts. You will never solve the problem that way.
Social media often causes more harm than good in peoples lives. People tend to over analyze everything they see, and also believe it is somehow real. I cannot tell you how many times clients have told us they saw a picture of their soulmate smiling in a picture so they must be happy. Are you serious? Name one person you know that does not smile when their picture is being taken. Other than mug shots, everyone smiles when their picture is being taken, or attempts to look happy. So where does a smile in a picture mean squat? Apparently to those stalking their soulmate on social media is means TONS. Well, in reality it doesn’t mean a thing. So don’t believe everything you see on social media. Believe more in the words and actions of your soulmate. It all starts there. That is where your focus should lie. Stay away from the social media, and pay closer attention to the reality of your relationship.
Soulmate relationships, like all relationships, can be manipulated with guilt trips. It is one thing to feel guilty for doing something wrong to your soulmate. It makes sense to feel remorse and guilt if you have hurt your soulmate and feel terrible about it. Guilt trips are another matter all together. Soulmates can use guilt trips in order to get what they want. They may want you to feel overly guilty for little things they can use against you. When a soulmate uses guilt trips to get their way, or to get attention, rarely will they stop on their own. Once you have shown them guilt trips work in their favor, they will use them against you as often as they like.
We all have the desire to express our feelings of hurt when a soulmate makes us feel bad. We communicate with one another to hopefully resolve the issues and move forward. That is not the intention of a soulmate guilt trip. They pretend to be more hurt than they are and want you to feel worse than you should. In doing so, they can get the attention they seek and the reward they want. What most people do not realize is that if a person has been taken on one guilt trip too many, resentment starts to build. They have begun to recognize the guilt trips and the manipulation. They are tired of being forced to feel guilty for every little thing and begin to emotionally distance themselves. This can cause the deterioration of a soulmate relationship. We all know right from wrong and we all screw up. It is the constant badgering that one soulmate does to the other that pushes the relationship over the edge. No one likes the feeling of being manipulated, and no one likes the manipulator after a while either.
Countless times we have seen examples of guilt trips being uses to control or manipulate soulmates. One common way soulmates use guilt trips is by using the connection itself. For example: Soulmate “A” screws up royally. They were supposed to go to a party with soulmate “B” but they were a no-show. Then they were silent for a week, never calling, texting or emailing to explain why they failed to show up. By the second week, soulmate “B” is really pissed off. Their calls have not been returned, and soulmate “A” has dropped off the face of the earth. So they make one last call leaving a message saying they will not tolerate this behavior, and that the relationship is over. Soulmate “A” uses a guilt trip by texting back “But you are the one that said we were soulmates, I guess you lied to me. If I was really your soulmate you wouldn’t be breaking up with me”. You would be shocked to learn how much this kind of guilt trip happens between soulmates. One uses the connection between them as a way to constantly avoid consequences. They also use it to keep the other soulmate from leaving them.
So how do you avoid being taken on a soulmate guilt trip? Well first of all, if you are the only one really feeling guilty all the time then chances are you are being taken on a guilt trip. You know right from wrong. And if it really was a minor mistake or misunderstanding, it should be easily resolved. Especially if your soulmate is the one that screws up time and again. You should never feel guilty for refusing to take anyone’s mistreatment of you. You should never feel guilty about expressing your pain or hurt, as long as it is done properly. But neither one of you has the right to beat it to death over and over and bring it up year after year after year. Guilt trips are like poison to soulmate relationships, and any relationship for that matter, so don’t fall for them and don’t use them with your soulmate.
Many times we see self-entitlement in soulmate relationships. Because of the connection between soulmates, quite often one, or both ,may have a sense of entitlement. When it comes to soulmate relationships, this often translates to one of the soulmates “getting away with murder”. Some soulmates think that no matter what they do or say, the connection will keep the relationship together. They rely on the connection between the two soulmates as a “get out of jail free card” and use it quite often. This is simply not true, and has cost more than one soulmate couple their relationship.
A connection does exist between soulmates, but at a certain point self-entitlement can create dysfunction and chaos. When the connection is used against one partner, the relationship becomes very one-sided. But what exactly is soulmate self-entitlement? It is the same thing as self-entitlement, but to a much larger degree, which of course, makes it harder to deal with.
When you have a soulmate it is very easy to feel as though your whole world revolves around them. This is actually quite normal. The problem is, when it revolves around only one of them, the other feels very left out. There has to be a balance in all relationships, including soulmate relationships, if they are going to work out in the long run. So be careful to make sure when you meet your soulmate that you do not go too far overboard and leave yourself behind. Allow your soulmate to do as much for you as you do for them. If they aren’t, you need to pull back on your efforts.
Self-entitlement between soulmates also occurs due to the extreme emotions involved in a soulmate connection. Anyone in a soulmate relationship experiences emotional highs and lows. So when soulmates have arguments, a soulmate with a sense of sense entitlement can hit below the belt. Way, way, WAY below the belt.
The things soulmates can do to one another, especially in the beginning of the relationship, are shocking. Not all couples go through this, but most soulmate couples do. Often one soulmate recognizes the connection right away and is more comfortable with it than the other. The other partner will act out, flip-flop, or even run. The soulmate who recognizes the connection often chases after them, and wants to talk to them about the connection to ease their mind. This rarely, if ever creates a harmonious relationship. What it actually creates is soulmate self-entitlement.
The one causing pain to other sees how much the other is putting up with and that they are always forgiven pretty easily. They then feel entitled to push the boundaries and repeat bad behavior. They begin to feel a sense of self-entitlement that no matter what they do to their soulmate, they will always be there for them. Bad idea. Real bad idea. This is NOT what you want your soulmate to learn. Why? Because any relationship without boundaries has no choice but to become dysfunctional down the road.
Nothing is more miserable than a dysfunctional soulmate relationship, so be careful. If you see that your soulmate relationship has self-entitlement issues, it is time to address them. Not by talking, but by putting your foot down and keeping it down. Action, not words, are the remedy for soulmate self-entitlement issues, so don’t bother having long discussions about it. Your words didn’t give them a feeling of self-entitlement, your actions did. So obviously that is what you have to change.