Instability seems to be a common problem in soulmate relationships due to the challenging nature these relationships often bring into our lives. If you are in soulmate relationship, or have been in one in the past, we can pretty much guarantee there was instability at some point in your relationship.
One of the most common ways a soulmate relationship becomes unstable is when one or both partners are having issues with the connection. Many people find it weird and unsettling to be that bonded to another person in ways they have never experienced. The feelings and synchronicities are unexplainable, perhaps even foreign, because they are unlike anything felt before.
It is hard to deal with these feelings at levels never before experienced. It makes many question their own sanity. So it is easy to see why soulmates often resort to simply denying the connection exists. The instability will remain until that soulmate works through and accepts the connection and the foundation of the relationship suffers.
More often than not when a soulmate is in denial, they often become a runner. Everything can be going perfectly between the two of you but the soulmate will still be a runner. In some cases they will drop off the face of the earth, out of the blue, without even a warning or conversation. Communication ceases, they won’t see you and may even can block you from social media. So when the soulmate relationship should be building a strong foundation, the resisting of the bond creates instability, causing the relationship to go into soulmate limbo. Please check our other article, Soulmate Limbo Sucks, to gain some insight in how to deal with this issue.
Soulmates are often very fiery, and both their love and their arguments will be infused with passion. The levels of love and affection are often matched by the levels of acting out and fighting. Disagreeing on such levels also causes a lot of instability in the relationship. They can do things to each other that you would swear people who love each other could possibly do. On the flip side, they forgive each other for behaviors that others would seem unforgivable.
They may themselves be struggling with the intensity of the relationship so it’s very possible they understand what the other is going through. Since many do not want to lose their soulmate, they let them get away with anything and everything. They are afraid if they take a stand and insist they air out their differences in more healthy ways, their soulmate may leave. What they don’t seem to get, no matter how many times we explain it, is that if they allow bad behavior without consequences, it will be recurring, and become much worse.
This causes the relationship stagnate and this instability does a lot of damage. What they are trying to save they are actually causing to deteriorate. Their worst fear, losing their soulmate, is going to manifest because they won’t do the right thing for themselves and the relationship.
When a relationship is unhealthy it gets to a point where it is mostly negative and often ends. In every relationship the couple is supposed to set healthy boundaries and enforce them. If they do not, the relationship gets more and more dysfunctional and unstable. It has no choice but to eventually come crashing down around them. Drama, acting out, cheating, game playing, and staying in a previous relationship are all causes of soulmate instability. Those bad behaviors and actions need to be changed or the relationship will never be the harmonious one they both know it can be.
When is it time to give your soulmate a time-out? Is there ever a good reason to give your soulmate relationship a time-out? Since soulmates are supposed have a connection, how can a time-out be the right thing for them? How could a time-out help a soulmate relationship? Soulmates can benefit from time-outs as it can actually reinforce their connection.
Because of their deep connection, a time-out can be just what they need. Emotions run so very high in soulmate relationships. The love to the extreme and they can battle to the extreme. Everything is extreme when it comes to soulmates. The love and affection are on a higher level, and the fighting is just as intense. So when soulmates are at odds, it could be a very good idea to go to separate corners for a while.
Soulmates may need a time-out to shift gears from wanting to hurt one another to missing one another terribly. They need those feelings of anger or hurt to die down, and love to surge again. When soulmates fight they can act like bitter enemies where you would almost think they hate one another. Often if you give them a few days apart, they are bawling like babies because they miss each other so much. They often then could care less about or don’t even remember what they were fighting about.
So yes, there is a good time to give your soul mate a time-out. If your soul mate is acting out or acting the fool is may be the perfect time to give them a time-out. If you can’t reason with them, or they are looking to fight then let them alone. Let them know you are not going to be around them when they are acting like this. Instead of letting them wind you up over something stupid or irrational, give them a time-out.
They are obviously looking for you to sink to their level, and nothing good will come from that. Don’t go there. Do something constructive instead of destructive. Of course many soulmates are terrified that a time-out will lead to a break up. This is just silly. Do you think a time-out will do more damage than is being currently done? Do you really think they will stop loving you? Love doesn’t work that way. Do you really think they will get over you and find someone else? In a few days? Again, that is just silly and melodramatic. No one falls out of love and in love with someone else in a matter of days. Put your fears aside and do the right thing. When it is time to give your soulmate a time-out, then do so.
Don’t confuse time-outs with on/off relationships. If you are giving your soulmate time-outs constantly then there is clearly a bigger problem that must be addressed. Some people do use time-outs as power plays and to create an on/off situation. That is relationship dysfunction 101 and not a good idea at all. Check out our article about on/off soulmate relationships here.
When giving a time-out, do so in a calm manner, or as calm as possible. Let them know how long you will be gone, or how long you want them to leave. Let them know this is not the end of your relationship, but an effort to make things better. Let them know you will be think a lot about things, and that you both need time to get your heads together and your hearts in alignment. Tell them you are doing things for the good of the relationship, not to hurt it. Agree to not have any communication until the date you agree on. Make a plan to meet for lunch or dinner on that date. A time-out may be just the thing to give your soulmate relationship a much needed reboot.
Is your soulmate relationship driving you crazy? There are many people who sadly allow their soulmate to drive them crazy when it really can be avoided for the most part. The best way to keep your soulmate relationship from driving you crazy is to keep the faith. If you really believe you have found your soulmate, and that you have a connection, keep the faith that you will get through this with the universe’s help.
If you begin asking yourself questions like, what is your soulmate doing, are we even soulmates, then you don’t really have faith, do you? If you don’t have the faith needed in your soulmate relationship, how can you expect your partner to? When you lose faith in what you have, you lose the power you need to get through the bad times. Soulmate relationships have a lot of challenges, and you have to draw strength from the connection you share, not break it down. Even if your soulmate is the one doing the damage, make sure you don’t join them.
You shouldn’t be driving each other crazy, or letting the soulmate relationship drive you crazy. You should just chalk it up to the fact these relationships stir up things within us that need to be addressed. Look at what the universe is showing both you and your soulmate. Separate the lessons. Don’t be so busy worrying about whether or not your soulmate will learn theirs that you are not addressing your own. When you avoid learning yours, you enable your soulmate to keep on driving you crazy.
Let’s say your soulmate pulls a disappearing act now and then. First, look at the lessons you both could need to learn. Your soulmate’s could be that they have to face problems and not run from them. Yours could be that you have to set and enforce boundaries so that your soulmate needs to understand they can’t keep doing this.
Without you learning yours, how can they learn theirs?
You actually make it harder for them to learn theirs if you don’t learn yours. If you prevent your soulmate from learning their lesson, your behavior contributes to their craziness. So, time to educate and empower yourself. If you do that, you set the wheels in motion for them to rise to your level.
Don’t let crazy behavior make you question what you know to be true. Don’t obsess as to the why and the how they could behave this way. Just chalk it up to them acting crazy, and let them do it solo. Let them work through what they need to and keep yourself sane. You know the truth. You know your love is real and your connection is real. When they question it, they act crazy. When you question it, you will act crazy. There is no way that two crazy people can have a sane relationship, so stop it.
You may need a bit of a pep talk every now and then, but don’t talk to people who you know will be driving you crazy. Keep a level head and do what you need to do, and chances are your soulmate will do the same. Regardless of how long it may take, you will get through the process a lot easier if you stay sane than let it bring you to your knees. You may not have a choice as to how long it can take for your soulmate to get their act together, but it is your choice how you handle it, and what you do while you wait it out.
Does your soulmate act like a child? Are you tired of feeling like you have a child you have to cater to rather than an adult you can depend on in your relationship? Is your soulmate rude, or even nasty to you for no reason? Does your soulmate act like a child and resort to behaviors like being spiteful, vindictive or immature when they are upset or don’t get their way? Does your soulmate act like a spoiled child and want the entire world, and your relationship to revolve around just them?
If your soulmate does things on purpose to provoke an argument, or make one worse, it’s time you put a stop to this behavior. You cannot allow someone who acts like a child to be in control of your relationship or they are going to ruin it. Sometimes, in soulmate relationships, you have to resort to tough love. When you are with a soulmate, it stands to reason you want to show them love and support. You don’t want to have to call them out or create conflict, but sometimes you have to make an effort to fix the problem. You should know when you are at a crisis point in your relationship and you need to act aggressively, not passively, at that point. Being passive isn’t going to get you anywhere, and it won’t get positive results. It will just enable your soulmate to continue to act like a child.
A child, not an adult, goes way overboard when they don’t need to. When you smile at a waiter or waitress, your adult partner should not fly into a jealous rage. It will not cause an them to start making nasty comments towards you just because you were being polite or civil to a member of the opposite sex. Jealousy and insecurity are not excuses for adults to behave like children. You shouldn’t be breaking up every time they fly into a rage for no good reason.
If you can’t talk to your soulmate and express yourself for fear they will get upset and go crazy, then they are acting like a child. Adult relationships have adult problems, and you need two adults willing and ready to tackle those problems. Putting your emotions on the back burner isn’t going to fix anything. If you feel you deserve an apology, then hold them accountable for that apology. Don’t smooth things over yourself, and don’t let them off the hook by using the amnesia trick either.
Don’t let sex be the only way they “fix” things. You should not forgive and forget what they have done just because some time has passed without an apology from them. Don’t chime in and apologize for your reactions to what they did either. Make them take responsibility and show remorse for what they have done wrong. Adults make amends when they are truly sorry and don’t keep making the same mistakes.
Your soulmate needs to act like an adult, handle their own finances and be able to stand on their own two feet. It is not your responsibility to take care of yourself and them. They need to pitch in and do the work neither of you want to do, rather than just wanting to play and have fun all the time. Running off to hang out with their friends or focus on their hobbies instead of doing the things they need to do needs to stop.
Don’t let your soulmate off the hook, it keeps them from growing up. It won’t be a quick fix, but there are a lot of things you can do when your soulmate acts like a child and you want them to act like an adult.
Soulmate relationships can often hit a dead-end, leaving the soulmates realizing their connection is going nowhere. There are many reasons this can happen. Without the change and personal growth a soulmate relationship brings, no forward momentum can be achieved. How can you tell if you are soulmates at a dead-end?
Reasons Soulmate Relationships Hit aDead-End
1. Soulmates will be at a dead-end when one or both soulmates are in denial. If either of you are too busy denying the connection exists, there is little room for growth and forward movement. It is hard, but you have to wait for your soulmate to accept the connection between the two of you. When denying a soulmates connection, the one in denial often resorts to horrible behavior. They may say and do terrible things in order to convince you, and themselves that it isn’t real. This can be a very tough period to go through.
2. When one or both soulmates are afraid to end their other relationship, the soulmate relationship is at a dead-end. There is nowhere to go when your soulmate is still tied to someone else. Waiting for a soulmate to have the strength, bravery or balls to end it is annoying at best. Sometimes, but not always, ultimatums, backed up by action, can give them the kick in the butt they need.
3. If your soulmate has a drug or alcohol dependency problem, your relationship will be at a dead-end. First the dependency issue must be addressed and dealt with before the relationship can move forward. It is not time to be an enabler.
4. If your soulmate constantly runs from you and your connection, this is a clear sign you have reached a dead-end. Your relationship is constantly ended before it can reach new levels. You wind up taking two steps forward and three steps back. You are not getting anywhere. Fix the on/off problem or you will stay like a hamster on a wheel getting nowhere fast.
5. Another sign that soulmates are at a dead-end is when one or both is resorting to soulmate sabotage. Constantly checking each others connection, pushing boundaries, and seeing how much you can get away with is a bad pattern. Someone committing soulmate sabotage should not be allowed to repeat this pattern, because it keeps you both stuck. They will never stop committing soulmate sabotage either. They are using the wrong methods to give them the security they seek.
6. The last sign that soulmates are at a dead-end is all about time. If your soulmate is always too busy to see you, talk to you, or text you (even thought texting will NEVER be enough to maintain a connection) your relationship is at a standstill. You both need to be present in the relationship for it to move forward. You also both need to be a higher priority in each others lives as well.
It is important you are able to see when a soulmate relationship is coming to a dead-end. There are things that can be done, approaches that can be taken to get your soulmate relationship back on course. Sarah and Sophia are here to help.