Soulmate sabotage happens all the time, for various reasons. Depending on the couple, one or both soulmates may sabotage their future relationship. Why, you may ask, would a soulmate commit soulmate sabotage? Many people are waiting patiently, and impatiently, for their soulmate. So why on earth, when they finally appear, would they sabotage this relationship and risk their future together?
There are so many reasons why soulmate sabotage occurs. The foundation of a soulmate relationship is supposed to faith, not fear. When fear, in all its ugly glory takes over, many soulmates will sabotage the relationship on purpose, in order to run away from it. Wether it is breaking up with a soulmate or being so destructive that their soulmate breaks up with them, the intention was clearly there. They want the relationship to end for whatever fear-based reason.
There are also many other soulmate couples who are behaving in ways that will ruin their relationship but engaging in soulmate sabotage. The difference is, these people don’t want the relationship damaged or destroyed. However, they fail to realize their behaviors are sabotaging the relationship. For those, we have written 10 examples of soulmate sabotage in an effort to bring awareness before things get too bad.
Top 10 Signs of Soulmate Sabotage
1) Having unrealistic expectations. So many people think soulmates are like couples in fairy tales. They meet, and then live happily ever after. Nothing could be further from the truth. Soulmates have important lessons to learn and hurdles to get over. However, sometimes a soulmate will have such high expectations that it is actually a form of sabotage. They expect their soulmate to be perfect. They expect they will never argue with their soulmate. They expect their soulmate to agree with them on everything. This is not reality, it is fantasy. Be realistic about your soulmate, otherwise you could be unknowingly sabotaging your relationship.
2) Being too passive, or always the peacemaker, is another way a soulmate can sabotage the relationship. You may think you are doing it for the benefit of the relationship, but in truth, you are not. We are all capable of saying I’m sorry, and we are all in the wrong sometimes, and need to accept that. It is not your job to keep your soulmate from growing and becoming a better person. That is more damaging than you think. You should have enough faith in your soulmate connection and your soulmate than you do.
3) Another form of soulmate sabotage is when you do not address problems, and fix them, before taking your relationship to another level. What was a problem while you were dating, will more than likely be a problem when you live together. That problem, if not corrected, will still be there if you get married or start a family. Don’t move forward with these problems. Deal with them and then move forward.
4) Focusing too much on chemistry and attraction, and not real compatibility, is another example of soulmate sabotage. Sure, the sex may be great and the chemistry intense, but that is not enough to keep you together forever. It is also not a way to fix your problems.
5) Being too melodramatic or a drama queen (or drama king) is an all too common characteristic of soulmate sabotage. Constant drama only causes long-term damage. It doesn’t make for long-term bliss. Get rid of the drama and don’t tolerate it. It has no place in a happy soulmate relationship, only a dysfunctional one.
6) Another example of soulmate sabotage is when you constantly break up over stupid, inconsequential things. That is totally disrespectful to your soulmate and the relationship itself. Your connection was a gift from the universe. If you bought someone a gift and they disrespected it, how happy would YOU be? Would you ever give them a gift again? Don’t be ungrateful for the gift you have it given, as that gift can be taken away from you.
7) Constantly keeping score is another great way to sabotage your soulmate relationship. How does feeling the need to constantly “one up” your soulmate create harmony? It doesn’t, so knock it off.
8) Always needing to be right is another top form of soulmate sabotage. You don’t need to always be right. You don’t always need to go out of your way to prove you are right. That is one of your soulmate lessons obviously. Take your ego down a notch before it’s too late.
9) Being too comfortable with your soulmate can sabotage your relationship. You may think you can do or say anything you want and get away with it because of your connection. Not so. Don’t give your soulmate the worst of who you are. They deserve the best, not the worst. Why would you treat anyone else better than you do your soulmate? How could you not think that isn’t a form of sabotage?
10) Being too needy, clingy, or not giving personal space or privacy is detrimental to your soulmate relationship. Being too needy or clingy makes a person feel smothered after a while. People that feel smothered feel the urge to break free. You should also trust them enough to have a respectful level of privacy. If you don’t, the reason for that distrust needs to be addressed.
Hopefully this will be a wake up call to some soulmates who are sabotaging their relationships without even knowing it and start using corrective action to bring harmony back to their relationships.
Competing for attention from your soulmate can prove very frustrating. You would think that a soulmate relationship would not leave you competing for attention, but quite the opposite is often true.
Due to intensity of the soulmate connection, many people think they bend the rules a bit. Breaking the rules in soulmate relationships can actually cause the relationship to fall apart. Because soulmates have a unique, eternal bond, many believe this connection can never be broken. They believe either consciously, or subconsciously, a soulmate will be extra understanding, and be there waiting for them regardless of the amount of time and energy they throw their way.
Since soulmates often prove their love in the wrong ways, it is easy to see how they think they can do anything and get away with it. So often soulmates put up with the wrong behaviors, so they can be taken for granted and mistreated in many other ways. Perhaps the reason you are competing for attention from your soulmate is because they know you won’t leave. If they are unafraid because there are no consequences to the lack of attention they give you, they figure why not do it?
When your soulmate has an attitude like this, there is no telling what kind of shenanigans they may wind up pulling on you and your relationship. Your soulmate should not put you in a place where you are competing for attention. You should not have to compete with their family, their friends, hobbies, work, or even a romantic rival. And you should never allow yourself to be put in that situation either.
You may be terrified to lose them and act on that fear. That fear causes your relationship to deteriorate. You reward their bad behavior by standing by them, being afraid to punish them, and therefore enabling them to continue with the lack of time they spend with you. They are immune to your feelings, because your feelings for them come first, with both of you.
If you revolve your world around them, then they are the center of the universe. You are no longer equals. You both took a spiritual connection and made it a dysfunctional one. The universe won’t save your relationship, because they didn’t trash it. Both of you created this mess and it is up to you both to fix it. You can’t repair your soulmate relationship by competing for affection, attention, or anything else.
In order for your soulmate to honor your connection, you must honor it as well. You need to hold them, as well as yourself, to a higher standard, not a lower one. If they want to lower their standards, don’t go down there with them. It will be even harder to rise from the gutter. Instead, challenge them with your higher standards. Don’t give in so easily to theirs! One of you is going to get what you want, and do either of you really want to destroy what you could have?
Soulmates don’t always get to stay together forever. Some can be in wonderful long-term relationships, but those soulmates rose to the soulmate challenge and raised their relationship standards. They did not lower them, at least not permanently. If you lower your standards, you may have a long-term relationship, but it will be full of chaos, drama, and dysfunction, which makes many of them wish a soulmate had never entered their lives.
Before you let fear be your guide, think things though, using your head, not your heart. Would you let anyone else get away with this? Do you really think it is a bad thing to say what is on your mind and tell your soulmate they need to give you the attention you deserve? Is there anything really wrong with expressing how their lack of attention has made you feel? Do you think you have a right to tell them enough is enough and it is time for a change? Isn’t that what you should be able to do in a healthy relationship?
In a healthy soulmate relationship, or any relationship for that matter, the two parties will make mistakes, but they work through them, and resolve them. They don’t focus on the competition, because that won’t fix anything. It is not the competition that is the problem. It is not any outside party, it is one of the two, and it must be fixed from within the relationship. Your soulmate is choosing to put their attention elsewhere, and it is up to you to show them they are making the wrong choice.
Instability seems to be a common problem in soulmate relationships due to the challenging nature these relationships often bring into our lives. If you are in soulmate relationship, or have been in one in the past, we can pretty much guarantee there was instability at some point in your relationship.
One of the most common ways a soulmate relationship becomes unstable is when one or both partners are having issues with the connection. Many people find it weird and unsettling to be that bonded to another person in ways they have never experienced. The feelings and synchronicities are unexplainable, perhaps even foreign, because they are unlike anything felt before.
It is hard to deal with these feelings at levels never before experienced. It makes many question their own sanity. So it is easy to see why soulmates often resort to simply denying the connection exists. The instability will remain until that soulmate works through and accepts the connection and the foundation of the relationship suffers.
More often than not when a soulmate is in denial, they often become a runner. Everything can be going perfectly between the two of you but the soulmate will still be a runner. In some cases they will drop off the face of the earth, out of the blue, without even a warning or conversation. Communication ceases, they won’t see you and may even can block you from social media. So when the soulmate relationship should be building a strong foundation, the resisting of the bond creates instability, causing the relationship to go into soulmate limbo. Please check our other article, Soulmate Limbo Sucks, to gain some insight in how to deal with this issue.
Soulmates are often very fiery, and both their love and their arguments will be infused with passion. The levels of love and affection are often matched by the levels of acting out and fighting. Disagreeing on such levels also causes a lot of instability in the relationship. They can do things to each other that you would swear people who love each other could possibly do. On the flip side, they forgive each other for behaviors that others would seem unforgivable.
They may themselves be struggling with the intensity of the relationship so it’s very possible they understand what the other is going through. Since many do not want to lose their soulmate, they let them get away with anything and everything. They are afraid if they take a stand and insist they air out their differences in more healthy ways, their soulmate may leave. What they don’t seem to get, no matter how many times we explain it, is that if they allow bad behavior without consequences, it will be recurring, and become much worse.
This causes the relationship stagnate and this instability does a lot of damage. What they are trying to save they are actually causing to deteriorate. Their worst fear, losing their soulmate, is going to manifest because they won’t do the right thing for themselves and the relationship.
When a relationship is unhealthy it gets to a point where it is mostly negative and often ends. In every relationship the couple is supposed to set healthy boundaries and enforce them. If they do not, the relationship gets more and more dysfunctional and unstable. It has no choice but to eventually come crashing down around them. Drama, acting out, cheating, game playing, and staying in a previous relationship are all causes of soulmate instability. Those bad behaviors and actions need to be changed or the relationship will never be the harmonious one they both know it can be.
When is it time to give your soulmate a time-out? Is there ever a good reason to give your soulmate relationship a time-out? Since soulmates are supposed have a connection, how can a time-out be the right thing for them? How could a time-out help a soulmate relationship? Soulmates can benefit from time-outs as it can actually reinforce their connection.
Because of their deep connection, a time-out can be just what they need. Emotions run so very high in soulmate relationships. The love to the extreme and they can battle to the extreme. Everything is extreme when it comes to soulmates. The love and affection are on a higher level, and the fighting is just as intense. So when soulmates are at odds, it could be a very good idea to go to separate corners for a while.
Soulmates may need a time-out to shift gears from wanting to hurt one another to missing one another terribly. They need those feelings of anger or hurt to die down, and love to surge again. When soulmates fight they can act like bitter enemies where you would almost think they hate one another. Often if you give them a few days apart, they are bawling like babies because they miss each other so much. They often then could care less about or don’t even remember what they were fighting about.
So yes, there is a good time to give your soul mate a time-out. If your soul mate is acting out or acting the fool is may be the perfect time to give them a time-out. If you can’t reason with them, or they are looking to fight then let them alone. Let them know you are not going to be around them when they are acting like this. Instead of letting them wind you up over something stupid or irrational, give them a time-out.
They are obviously looking for you to sink to their level, and nothing good will come from that. Don’t go there. Do something constructive instead of destructive. Of course many soulmates are terrified that a time-out will lead to a break up. This is just silly. Do you think a time-out will do more damage than is being currently done? Do you really think they will stop loving you? Love doesn’t work that way. Do you really think they will get over you and find someone else? In a few days? Again, that is just silly and melodramatic. No one falls out of love and in love with someone else in a matter of days. Put your fears aside and do the right thing. When it is time to give your soulmate a time-out, then do so.
Don’t confuse time-outs with on/off relationships. If you are giving your soulmate time-outs constantly then there is clearly a bigger problem that must be addressed. Some people do use time-outs as power plays and to create an on/off situation. That is relationship dysfunction 101 and not a good idea at all. Check out our article about on/off soulmate relationships here.
When giving a time-out, do so in a calm manner, or as calm as possible. Let them know how long you will be gone, or how long you want them to leave. Let them know this is not the end of your relationship, but an effort to make things better. Let them know you will be think a lot about things, and that you both need time to get your heads together and your hearts in alignment. Tell them you are doing things for the good of the relationship, not to hurt it. Agree to not have any communication until the date you agree on. Make a plan to meet for lunch or dinner on that date. A time-out may be just the thing to give your soulmate relationship a much needed reboot.
Is your soulmate relationship driving you crazy? There are many people who sadly allow their soulmate to drive them crazy when it really can be avoided for the most part. The best way to keep your soulmate relationship from driving you crazy is to keep the faith. If you really believe you have found your soulmate, and that you have a connection, keep the faith that you will get through this with the universe’s help.
If you begin asking yourself questions like, what is your soulmate doing, are we even soulmates, then you don’t really have faith, do you? If you don’t have the faith needed in your soulmate relationship, how can you expect your partner to? When you lose faith in what you have, you lose the power you need to get through the bad times. Soulmate relationships have a lot of challenges, and you have to draw strength from the connection you share, not break it down. Even if your soulmate is the one doing the damage, make sure you don’t join them.
You shouldn’t be driving each other crazy, or letting the soulmate relationship drive you crazy. You should just chalk it up to the fact these relationships stir up things within us that need to be addressed. Look at what the universe is showing both you and your soulmate. Separate the lessons. Don’t be so busy worrying about whether or not your soulmate will learn theirs that you are not addressing your own. When you avoid learning yours, you enable your soulmate to keep on driving you crazy.
Let’s say your soulmate pulls a disappearing act now and then. First, look at the lessons you both could need to learn. Your soulmate’s could be that they have to face problems and not run from them. Yours could be that you have to set and enforce boundaries so that your soulmate needs to understand they can’t keep doing this.
Without you learning yours, how can they learn theirs?
You actually make it harder for them to learn theirs if you don’t learn yours. If you prevent your soulmate from learning their lesson, your behavior contributes to their craziness. So, time to educate and empower yourself. If you do that, you set the wheels in motion for them to rise to your level.
Don’t let crazy behavior make you question what you know to be true. Don’t obsess as to the why and the how they could behave this way. Just chalk it up to them acting crazy, and let them do it solo. Let them work through what they need to and keep yourself sane. You know the truth. You know your love is real and your connection is real. When they question it, they act crazy. When you question it, you will act crazy. There is no way that two crazy people can have a sane relationship, so stop it.
You may need a bit of a pep talk every now and then, but don’t talk to people who you know will be driving you crazy. Keep a level head and do what you need to do, and chances are your soulmate will do the same. Regardless of how long it may take, you will get through the process a lot easier if you stay sane than let it bring you to your knees. You may not have a choice as to how long it can take for your soulmate to get their act together, but it is your choice how you handle it, and what you do while you wait it out.