Is your soulmate sabotaging your relationship? Is the sabotage verbally or through their actions, creating problems when it isn’t necessary? Do they make a big deal about small insignificant things that don’t really matter? What can you do if your soulmate is sabotaging your relationship?
The first thing to keep in mind is your soulmate may not be fully aware they are sabotaging your relationship. Your soulmate could be sabotaging your relationship on purpose, but in some instances they may have no idea they are doing it. If your soulmate is purposely trying to cause trouble and drama, your best bet it to not engage in it. Now if the time to pull back and take care of yourself. Don’t feed the drama monster, otherwise it comes back repeatedly for more food. No one wants that. So when they are acting out, find someplace else to be.
Is your soulmate sabotaging your relationship by being too controlling? Are they micro managing every thing down to the minute detail? Do they freak out if they are not in control? Are you tired of being treated like a child? Someone that is too controlling usually has no idea the resentment they are causing. They are usually surprised when someone eventually blows up at them for being a control freak. It is best to nip it in the bud and let them know they can’t control everything in their life, and sure as hell can’t control everything in yours. They need to be a partner in this relationship, not the boss. You don’t want a boss, you want a partner, so they need to take it down several notches.
If your soulmate is too busy holding grudges for mistakes you have made in the past, this is another method of soulmate sabotaging. Of course they want you to forget or get over their mistakes, but yours are burned in their mind. This is another thing that causes irreparable damage down the line. When they bring up your past mistakes, let them know they made a mistake bringing it up. They either have to let the past go, or you don’t see a future going forward. That may sound harsh, but it is the truth. If you can’t speak the truth in your relationship, what the hell are you doing in it?
Another method of soulmate sabotage occurs when your soulmate withdraws too often and for too long, whether it is done consciously or unconsciously. There has to be a compromise. If your soulmate is going through a rough patch, agree to give them space. But let them know you will not allow their rough patch to become yours. You are their to help them, and if they don’t want your help, leave them alone. You don’t deserve to be treated that way so they need to come up with another strategy that works for both of you.
If you are in a relationship you don’t get to withdraw from it for weeks and months on end. Either be a partner or go be single. Again, might sound harsh, but so are break ups. Take your pick, either speak the truth or let your soulmate keep sabotaging your relationship and ruining it. The choice is yours.
When your soulmate takes too long to get over a fight or refuses to apologize when they screw up, they are sabotaging your relationship. If you don’t hold them accountable when they are wrong, you are teaching them a bad lesson. You are telling them this behavior is ok, and they are not responsible for cleaning up their own mess. You are also teaching them you aren’t worth an apology. Does that sound like a good idea? Uh, no. Again, very bad idea. You may think you are keeping things together but you are sabotaging it yourself because you are enabling their sabotage.
Both soulmates have to watch out for sabotage. Even if you don’t see it yourself, hopefully your soulmate will bring it to your attention so you can put a stop to it yourself.
Soulmate connections come with strong emotions and if not dealt with properly, tons of drama. Soulmate relationships are not like romance novels and fairy tales for most soulmate couples. Many times soulmates expect smooth sailing relationships where everything clicks and they get along perfectly, but it seldom it happens this way. Instead, they get something that resembles a nightmare. They did not expect the acting out, the fighting, the denial or the obstacles and challenges. They believe if this was part of the universe’s great plan for their lives, the plan would have been a lot more positive a guaranteed happy ending. Many people who are experiencing soulmate drama believe the universe is actually punishing them. Many people have asked us what could they have possibly done that was so bad that the universe brought this heartache into their lives.
Why does the universe bring soulmates that come with so much drama? Why does something that could make us so happy, instead bring us so much misery? Why would the universe’s plan turn out so badly? Couldn’t they have picked a soulmate who didn’t come with tons of drama? The universe did select and choose a soul mate for you, and you for them. The universe was in control of that choice and making sure you crossed paths to establish your connection. And then the universe backed off. It is up to each of the individual soulmates to create the soulmate relationship. Sadly, many, if not most, create one with drama.
So why are soulmate relationships often filled with drama? The intense emotions and longing that come with soulmate relationships support the creation of soulmate drama. The emotion of love is not the cause of drama in soulmate relationships, but fear. Why would a couple experiencing such a connection be filled with fear instead of faith? Soulmate relationships are filled with triggers that set off deep-rooted insecurities and issues we have buried or chosen to ignore. If we don’t face what we need to change we open the door to negativity and drama.
For instance, let’s say your soulmate has trust issues. Upon meeting they feel the instant connection and are aware there is something special between you. They may even acknowledge you are soulmates. You might think that should help them overcome their trust issues, right? Yes and no. If they have faith in the connection, they trust the connection and it is easier for them to trust you. This may be one of the lessons the universe wants them to learn and what needs to be addressed and dealt with within for their personal growth. If on the other hand they do not have faith in the connection, they won’t trust the connection, they will fear it. As that fear grows, their ability to trust you grows, and the drama grows.
With all soulmate relationships a certain amount of drama can be expected and no cause for alarm. If a soulmate relationship has more drama than a reality show, it is time to do some damage control. The less drama in your soulmate relationship, the happier you both will be. Because you are caught up in the drama, you may not be able to see your way out of it. We can help you steer clear of drama and get your relationship on the right track.
Many people believe a soulmate relationship is everlasting and that they will stay together. They believe the connection between soulmates cannot be broken. There should be no reason to ever end a soulmate relationship, right? Soulmates are destined to be together forever, aren’t they? What could possibly be a good reason to end a soulmate relationship? Since it took so long to find our soulmate, why on earth would we let them go? How could that you both in the long run? Sometimes it may actually be necessary to end a soulmate relationship.
10 Reasons to End Your Soulmate Relationship
1. If your soulmate has another relationship they won’t end, it may be time to end yours. Your soulmate connection is supposed to enable you to leave bad situations. This works the opposite for some soulmates, however, and actually enables them to stay in a bad situation. This is not honoring your soulmate connection. It may be up to you to put your foot down and let go of your soulmate for a while to allow the other relationship to run its course. Then your soulmate can come back to you single and without the excess baggage of another relationship. Let’s face it, the drama of the other relationship cause friction and problems between the two of you anyway.
2. If your soulmate has pulled a runner and won’t see you or communicate with you, it may be wise to let the relationship end for now. That does not mean they will not return. Chasing them may actually have an adverse affect. You may need to let go of your soulmate for now until they are ready, willing and able to engage in a relationship with you again.
3. If your soulmate comes and goes and your relationship is on again off again, it may be time for you to end the relationship. You don’t want or need an on again off again relationship. Your soulmate, for whatever reason, does. Stop being a part of the relationship that they want. Until you do, you may never get the type of relationship that you want.
4. If your soulmate is addicted to alcohol, pills or whatever and it is affecting your relationship, it is time to end it. You can’t make a relationship work under those conditions. They only thing you are doing is allowing bad behavioral patterns to cement themselves within your relationship. Then, even if they do conquer their addiction, the bad behaviors remain. Walk away and end your soulmate relationship until they seek help for their addiction.
5. If your soulmate keeps sabotaging your relationship, it may be time to end it. If your soulmate picks fights with you all the time and makes every little problem bigger than it should be, end it. Putting some space between both of you make give your soulmate the wake up call they need. They are abusing you and the relationship and they need to have a healthy fear that if they don’t knock it off it will end.
6. If your soulmate has a toxic relationship with his friends or family, you may need to end your soulmate relationship. If their influence is making your relationship toxic, you need to step back. Your soulmate needs to get some control over his relationship with his family and friends. Until then, they will keep damaging your soulmate relationship.
7. If your soulmate won’t commit to you or give your relationship a fair chance, it may be time to end it. Your soulmate may keep saying they are not ready for a relationship. They may be seeing other people and won’t be monogamous. This is keeping you from building a real relationship with them. Your soulmate may be doing this only because you are putting up with it. It may be time for you to call their bluff and end your soulmate relationship.
8. If your soulmate refuses to open up about his emotions, the time might be right to end your relationship. They may be treating you like a booty call or friends with benefits. They may swear up and down they don’t feel the same way about you that you feel about them. You may know deep down that it’s a lie because you can feel the connection. Ending your soulmate relationship may be the only thing you can do to get them to admit their true feelings for you.
9. If your soulmate won’t let your relationship go to the next level it may be time to call it quits for now. The only way for them to get over their fears of getting more serious could be the chance they will lose you for good. If you have been waiting and waiting for a more serious relationship, it might be a good time to give them an ultimatum and follow through with it.
10. If your soulmate relationship isn’t really working and is too complicated and dysfunctional, bow out. If you feel you have done all you can it may be time to walk away. You don’t have to end it forever, just until they are willing to put in the effort to allow the relationship to work. You cannot do it all by yourself.
Although soulmate connections may last forever, soulmate relationships don’t. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and the relationship is to end it. A permanent ending to a dysfunctional soulmate relationship clears the way for the two of you to rebuild a new healthy relationship with one another.
For part two of our article about your soulmate and his ex, we are going to focus on the on/off relationships that seem to plague many soulmate couples.
Quite frequently, the ex does not want to let go of your soulmate and the happiness the two of you share. No matter how long they have been broken up, the ex will still jump at the chance to take your soulmate back. Sometimes an ex may believe your soulmate is actually their soul mate. Sometimes they just don’t want you to have them, because they don’t want them to find a greater happiness with you than what they had. Very often they just want to ruin your chance to find happiness with their ex. Since they are not happy, they don’t want you and their ex to be happy either. So, the ex leaves an open door for your soulmate to return. This can cause a major problem and create all kinds of difficulties.
You may worry your soulmate could go back to their ex, and because of that worry you let things slide. Actually, you let too many things slide. The fear of your soulmate going back to his ex will create a dynamic in your relationship that will be very difficult to change down the road. When a couple gets together, they create their roles and rules in the relationship. If your fear of your soulmate going back to their ex keeps you from creating and enforcing healthy boundaries, you will wind up in a dysfunctional soulmate relationship. The strength of love propels a relationship forward, the weakness of fear destroys the ability to create a solid foundation for a relationship. If you are coming from a place of fear, what you fear most (which is the end of the relationship) will most likely come to pass. If you have faith in the relationship, and in yourself and the connection you have, you will have the strength to do what needs to be done to preserve that relationship.
Sometimes the fear of your soulmate returning to their ex becomes a reality. You soulmate may not be ready to embrace the connection you share and learn their lessons. They may develop an on/off relationship with both you and their ex. Things seems to be going great between the two of you and then all of a sudden your soulmate starts acting weird. You feel a strange distance developing between the two of you. You have this nagging feeling they may be in communication with their ex. You ask your soul mate what is wrong and they tell you everything is fine. But you know better.
Then, *poof*, your soulmate is out of your life and back with his ex. You are devastated. You worry he will never come back. You wonder what kind of power she has over him that makes it impossible to let go of her. Believe me, she has zero power. You don’t either. HE has all the power and is using it against the both of you. He wants his soulmate in his life, but isn’t willing to step up to the plate. The ex keeps your focus them, and not him or your soulmate connection. You may blame the ex. Don’t. He is to blame. He is not their victim. You are his victim. Both you and the ex want him exclusively. Both you and his ex want the on/off relationship stuff to stop. Neither of you is getting want they want. Only he is. Again, blame him.
This cycle of insanity has to come to a close. The ex needs to stay in the past, and he needs to move forward with you into the future. The only way it will change is when someone finally puts their foot down, and unfortunately that person may need to be you. This is where you need to enforce boundaries within your relationship and make them realize you will no longer be the victim in this on / off relationship game.
Soulmate connections often come with drama and obstacles, and quite often one of them may be his ex. Like many soulmates, you may have met when he was in a relationship with someone else. Soulmates often encounter one another when one, or both of them are currently in a relationship. The current relationship can be what keeps soul mates apart, and the stress and despair can be excruciating.
At this point the ex is not an ex. You pray for the day they will and their relationship, and you wait. And you wait. And you pray. And you cry. And you wait some more. You build up a hatred towards this person, the one he is involved with, because you feel they are holding your happiness in their hands. You hear how horrible they treat your soulmate. You think of how lucky they are to have your soulmate and how they don’t even appreciate it. You feel so bad for your soulmate that they are treated so badly in their current relationship. You hope they have the courage to leave the dead-end relationship is making them so miserable.
Then you start to get frustrated. Why are they remaining with this person that makes them so unhappy? They could be with you instead! What hold does this witch have over him that causes him to stay? You may even begin to feel as though you will never be together and that you will have to move on, giving up on this relationship completely.
Then, one day, that relationship is over. You are thrilled!! Finally, the day you have been waiting for! She has been given the boot and you have your chance at happiness. But now you must deal with an ex who could make the break-up or divorce very challenging and contentious. You must be careful not to let that stress affect your relationship with your soulmate.
The relationship with his ex, if toxic, can mean toxic relationship baggage will be coming into YOUR relationship. You may be so thrilled you finally have your soulmate that you don’t nip bad behaviors right away. You must use special care that the relationship with your soulmate does not become as dysfunctional as the one he had with his ex. His ex may also try to turn his children, friends or family against you. Be careful not to sink to their level, which will only make you look bad. It may take time for the ex to focus their energy elsewhere, but try to ride it out.
The ex may not want to see him happy, and may do everything and anything to cause friction between you. Your soulmate needs to understand that his ex is not his problem to deal with alone. If his ex is not bothering you in the slightest, let him handle it himself. But if his ex causes him to break dates with YOU or affect your life in any real way, you should be allowed some input. It may be HIS ex, but if she is YOUR problem too, you should be able to deal with it as a couple.
Since he couldn’t handle her when he was in a relationship with her, why would he think he can handle her now? He can’t. Work together as a team in dealing with her, otherwise you are both playing right into her hands. Every fight you have about his ex is a victory for her. Since she is in the past, she needs to stay in the past. His ex should have no control of your daily lives. You both need to let go of his ex. You need to drop your resentment and hatred (and so does he if he has any) towards his ex and live your lives. This person has wasted enough of your valuable time. Focus on the two of you, and things will turn out just fine.
There will be a follow on article to this post about how exes can affect soulmate relationships. Keep checking back.