Soulmate relationships, like all relationships, can be manipulated with guilt trips. It is one thing to feel guilty for doing something wrong to your soulmate. It makes sense to feel remorse and guilt if you have hurt your soulmate and feel terrible about it. Guilt trips are another matter all together. Soulmates can use guilt trips in order to get what they want. They may want you to feel overly guilty for little things they can use against you. When a soulmate uses guilt trips to get their way, or to get attention, rarely will they stop on their own. Once you have shown them guilt trips work in their favor, they will use them against you as often as they like.
We all have the desire to express our feelings of hurt when a soulmate makes us feel bad. We communicate with one another to hopefully resolve the issues and move forward. That is not the intention of a soulmate guilt trip. They pretend to be more hurt than they are and want you to feel worse than you should. In doing so, they can get the attention they seek and the reward they want. What most people do not realize is that if a person has been taken on one guilt trip too many, resentment starts to build. They have begun to recognize the guilt trips and the manipulation. They are tired of being forced to feel guilty for every little thing and begin to emotionally distance themselves. This can cause the deterioration of a soulmate relationship. We all know right from wrong and we all screw up. It is the constant badgering that one soulmate does to the other that pushes the relationship over the edge. No one likes the feeling of being manipulated, and no one likes the manipulator after a while either.
Countless times we have seen examples of guilt trips being uses to control or manipulate soulmates. One common way soulmates use guilt trips is by using the connection itself. For example: Soulmate “A” screws up royally. They were supposed to go to a party with soulmate “B” but they were a no-show. Then they were silent for a week, never calling, texting or emailing to explain why they failed to show up. By the second week, soulmate “B” is really pissed off. Their calls have not been returned, and soulmate “A” has dropped off the face of the earth. So they make one last call leaving a message saying they will not tolerate this behavior, and that the relationship is over. Soulmate “A” uses a guilt trip by texting back “But you are the one that said we were soulmates, I guess you lied to me. If I was really your soulmate you wouldn’t be breaking up with me”. You would be shocked to learn how much this kind of guilt trip happens between soulmates. One uses the connection between them as a way to constantly avoid consequences. They also use it to keep the other soulmate from leaving them.
So how do you avoid being taken on a soulmate guilt trip? Well first of all, if you are the only one really feeling guilty all the time then chances are you are being taken on a guilt trip. You know right from wrong. And if it really was a minor mistake or misunderstanding, it should be easily resolved. Especially if your soulmate is the one that screws up time and again. You should never feel guilty for refusing to take anyone’s mistreatment of you. You should never feel guilty about expressing your pain or hurt, as long as it is done properly. But neither one of you has the right to beat it to death over and over and bring it up year after year after year. Guilt trips are like poison to soulmate relationships, and any relationship for that matter, so don’t fall for them and don’t use them with your soulmate.
Many times we see self-entitlement in soulmate relationships. Because of the connection between soulmates, quite often one, or both ,may have a sense of entitlement. When it comes to soulmate relationships, this often translates to one of the soulmates “getting away with murder”. Some soulmates think that no matter what they do or say, the connection will keep the relationship together. They rely on the connection between the two soulmates as a “get out of jail free card” and use it quite often. This is simply not true, and has cost more than one soulmate couple their relationship.
A connection does exist between soulmates, but at a certain point self-entitlement can create dysfunction and chaos. When the connection is used against one partner, the relationship becomes very one-sided. But what exactly is soulmate self-entitlement? It is the same thing as self-entitlement, but to a much larger degree, which of course, makes it harder to deal with.
When you have a soulmate it is very easy to feel as though your whole world revolves around them. This is actually quite normal. The problem is, when it revolves around only one of them, the other feels very left out. There has to be a balance in all relationships, including soulmate relationships, if they are going to work out in the long run. So be careful to make sure when you meet your soulmate that you do not go too far overboard and leave yourself behind. Allow your soulmate to do as much for you as you do for them. If they aren’t, you need to pull back on your efforts.
Self-entitlement between soulmates also occurs due to the extreme emotions involved in a soulmate connection. Anyone in a soulmate relationship experiences emotional highs and lows. So when soulmates have arguments, a soulmate with a sense of sense entitlement can hit below the belt. Way, way, WAY below the belt.
The things soulmates can do to one another, especially in the beginning of the relationship, are shocking. Not all couples go through this, but most soulmate couples do. Often one soulmate recognizes the connection right away and is more comfortable with it than the other. The other partner will act out, flip-flop, or even run. The soulmate who recognizes the connection often chases after them, and wants to talk to them about the connection to ease their mind. This rarely, if ever creates a harmonious relationship. What it actually creates is soulmate self-entitlement.
The one causing pain to other sees how much the other is putting up with and that they are always forgiven pretty easily. They then feel entitled to push the boundaries and repeat bad behavior. They begin to feel a sense of self-entitlement that no matter what they do to their soulmate, they will always be there for them. Bad idea. Real bad idea. This is NOT what you want your soulmate to learn. Why? Because any relationship without boundaries has no choice but to become dysfunctional down the road.
Nothing is more miserable than a dysfunctional soulmate relationship, so be careful. If you see that your soulmate relationship has self-entitlement issues, it is time to address them. Not by talking, but by putting your foot down and keeping it down. Action, not words, are the remedy for soulmate self-entitlement issues, so don’t bother having long discussions about it. Your words didn’t give them a feeling of self-entitlement, your actions did. So obviously that is what you have to change.
Is your soulmate sabotaging your relationship? Is the sabotage verbally or through their actions, creating problems when it isn’t necessary? Do they make a big deal about small insignificant things that don’t really matter? What can you do if your soulmate is sabotaging your relationship?
The first thing to keep in mind is your soulmate may not be fully aware they are sabotaging your relationship. Your soulmate could be sabotaging your relationship on purpose, but in some instances they may have no idea they are doing it. If your soulmate is purposely trying to cause trouble and drama, your best bet it to not engage in it. Now if the time to pull back and take care of yourself. Don’t feed the drama monster, otherwise it comes back repeatedly for more food. No one wants that. So when they are acting out, find someplace else to be.
Is your soulmate sabotaging your relationship by being too controlling? Are they micro managing every thing down to the minute detail? Do they freak out if they are not in control? Are you tired of being treated like a child? Someone that is too controlling usually has no idea the resentment they are causing. They are usually surprised when someone eventually blows up at them for being a control freak. It is best to nip it in the bud and let them know they can’t control everything in their life, and sure as hell can’t control everything in yours. They need to be a partner in this relationship, not the boss. You don’t want a boss, you want a partner, so they need to take it down several notches.
If your soulmate is too busy holding grudges for mistakes you have made in the past, this is another method of soulmate sabotaging. Of course they want you to forget or get over their mistakes, but yours are burned in their mind. This is another thing that causes irreparable damage down the line. When they bring up your past mistakes, let them know they made a mistake bringing it up. They either have to let the past go, or you don’t see a future going forward. That may sound harsh, but it is the truth. If you can’t speak the truth in your relationship, what the hell are you doing in it?
Another method of soulmate sabotage occurs when your soulmate withdraws too often and for too long, whether it is done consciously or unconsciously. There has to be a compromise. If your soulmate is going through a rough patch, agree to give them space. But let them know you will not allow their rough patch to become yours. You are their to help them, and if they don’t want your help, leave them alone. You don’t deserve to be treated that way so they need to come up with another strategy that works for both of you.
If you are in a relationship you don’t get to withdraw from it for weeks and months on end. Either be a partner or go be single. Again, might sound harsh, but so are break ups. Take your pick, either speak the truth or let your soulmate keep sabotaging your relationship and ruining it. The choice is yours.
When your soulmate takes too long to get over a fight or refuses to apologize when they screw up, they are sabotaging your relationship. If you don’t hold them accountable when they are wrong, you are teaching them a bad lesson. You are telling them this behavior is ok, and they are not responsible for cleaning up their own mess. You are also teaching them you aren’t worth an apology. Does that sound like a good idea? Uh, no. Again, very bad idea. You may think you are keeping things together but you are sabotaging it yourself because you are enabling their sabotage.
Both soulmates have to watch out for sabotage. Even if you don’t see it yourself, hopefully your soulmate will bring it to your attention so you can put a stop to it yourself.
Soulmate connections come with strong emotions and if not dealt with properly, tons of drama. Soulmate relationships are not like romance novels and fairy tales for most soulmate couples. Many times soulmates expect smooth sailing relationships where everything clicks and they get along perfectly, but it seldom it happens this way. Instead, they get something that resembles a nightmare. They did not expect the acting out, the fighting, the denial or the obstacles and challenges. They believe if this was part of the universe’s great plan for their lives, the plan would have been a lot more positive a guaranteed happy ending. Many people who are experiencing soulmate drama believe the universe is actually punishing them. Many people have asked us what could they have possibly done that was so bad that the universe brought this heartache into their lives.
Why does the universe bring soulmates that come with so much drama? Why does something that could make us so happy, instead bring us so much misery? Why would the universe’s plan turn out so badly? Couldn’t they have picked a soulmate who didn’t come with tons of drama? The universe did select and choose a soul mate for you, and you for them. The universe was in control of that choice and making sure you crossed paths to establish your connection. And then the universe backed off. It is up to each of the individual soulmates to create the soulmate relationship. Sadly, many, if not most, create one with drama.
So why are soulmate relationships often filled with drama? The intense emotions and longing that come with soulmate relationships support the creation of soulmate drama. The emotion of love is not the cause of drama in soulmate relationships, but fear. Why would a couple experiencing such a connection be filled with fear instead of faith? Soulmate relationships are filled with triggers that set off deep-rooted insecurities and issues we have buried or chosen to ignore. If we don’t face what we need to change we open the door to negativity and drama.
For instance, let’s say your soulmate has trust issues. Upon meeting they feel the instant connection and are aware there is something special between you. They may even acknowledge you are soulmates. You might think that should help them overcome their trust issues, right? Yes and no. If they have faith in the connection, they trust the connection and it is easier for them to trust you. This may be one of the lessons the universe wants them to learn and what needs to be addressed and dealt with within for their personal growth. If on the other hand they do not have faith in the connection, they won’t trust the connection, they will fear it. As that fear grows, their ability to trust you grows, and the drama grows.
With all soulmate relationships a certain amount of drama can be expected and no cause for alarm. If a soulmate relationship has more drama than a reality show, it is time to do some damage control. The less drama in your soulmate relationship, the happier you both will be. Because you are caught up in the drama, you may not be able to see your way out of it. We can help you steer clear of drama and get your relationship on the right track.
Many people believe a soulmate relationship is everlasting and that they will stay together. They believe the connection between soulmates cannot be broken. There should be no reason to ever end a soulmate relationship, right? Soulmates are destined to be together forever, aren’t they? What could possibly be a good reason to end a soulmate relationship? Since it took so long to find our soulmate, why on earth would we let them go? How could that you both in the long run? Sometimes it may actually be necessary to end a soulmate relationship.
10 Reasons to End Your Soulmate Relationship
1. If your soulmate has another relationship they won’t end, it may be time to end yours. Your soulmate connection is supposed to enable you to leave bad situations. This works the opposite for some soulmates, however, and actually enables them to stay in a bad situation. This is not honoring your soulmate connection. It may be up to you to put your foot down and let go of your soulmate for a while to allow the other relationship to run its course. Then your soulmate can come back to you single and without the excess baggage of another relationship. Let’s face it, the drama of the other relationship cause friction and problems between the two of you anyway.
2. If your soulmate has pulled a runner and won’t see you or communicate with you, it may be wise to let the relationship end for now. That does not mean they will not return. Chasing them may actually have an adverse affect. You may need to let go of your soulmate for now until they are ready, willing and able to engage in a relationship with you again.
3. If your soulmate comes and goes and your relationship is on again off again, it may be time for you to end the relationship. You don’t want or need an on again off again relationship. Your soulmate, for whatever reason, does. Stop being a part of the relationship that they want. Until you do, you may never get the type of relationship that you want.
4. If your soulmate is addicted to alcohol, pills or whatever and it is affecting your relationship, it is time to end it. You can’t make a relationship work under those conditions. They only thing you are doing is allowing bad behavioral patterns to cement themselves within your relationship. Then, even if they do conquer their addiction, the bad behaviors remain. Walk away and end your soulmate relationship until they seek help for their addiction.
5. If your soulmate keeps sabotaging your relationship, it may be time to end it. If your soulmate picks fights with you all the time and makes every little problem bigger than it should be, end it. Putting some space between both of you make give your soulmate the wake up call they need. They are abusing you and the relationship and they need to have a healthy fear that if they don’t knock it off it will end.
6. If your soulmate has a toxic relationship with his friends or family, you may need to end your soulmate relationship. If their influence is making your relationship toxic, you need to step back. Your soulmate needs to get some control over his relationship with his family and friends. Until then, they will keep damaging your soulmate relationship.
7. If your soulmate won’t commit to you or give your relationship a fair chance, it may be time to end it. Your soulmate may keep saying they are not ready for a relationship. They may be seeing other people and won’t be monogamous. This is keeping you from building a real relationship with them. Your soulmate may be doing this only because you are putting up with it. It may be time for you to call their bluff and end your soulmate relationship.
8. If your soulmate refuses to open up about his emotions, the time might be right to end your relationship. They may be treating you like a booty call or friends with benefits. They may swear up and down they don’t feel the same way about you that you feel about them. You may know deep down that it’s a lie because you can feel the connection. Ending your soulmate relationship may be the only thing you can do to get them to admit their true feelings for you.
9. If your soulmate won’t let your relationship go to the next level it may be time to call it quits for now. The only way for them to get over their fears of getting more serious could be the chance they will lose you for good. If you have been waiting and waiting for a more serious relationship, it might be a good time to give them an ultimatum and follow through with it.
10. If your soulmate relationship isn’t really working and is too complicated and dysfunctional, bow out. If you feel you have done all you can it may be time to walk away. You don’t have to end it forever, just until they are willing to put in the effort to allow the relationship to work. You cannot do it all by yourself.
Although soulmate connections may last forever, soulmate relationships don’t. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself and the relationship is to end it. A permanent ending to a dysfunctional soulmate relationship clears the way for the two of you to rebuild a new healthy relationship with one another.