Soulmate sabotage happens all the time, for various reasons. Depending on the couple, one or both soulmates may sabotage their future relationship. Why, you may ask, would a soulmate commit soulmate sabotage? Many people are waiting patiently, and impatiently, for their soulmate. So why on earth, when they finally appear, would they sabotage this relationship and risk their future together?
There are so many reasons why soulmate sabotage occurs. The foundation of a soulmate relationship is supposed to faith, not fear. When fear, in all its ugly glory takes over, many soulmates will sabotage the relationship on purpose, in order to run away from it. Wether it is breaking up with a soulmate or being so destructive that their soulmate breaks up with them, the intention was clearly there. They want the relationship to end for whatever fear-based reason.
There are also many other soulmate couples who are behaving in ways that will ruin their relationship but engaging in soulmate sabotage. The difference is, these people don’t want the relationship damaged or destroyed. However, they fail to realize their behaviors are sabotaging the relationship. For those, we have written 10 examples of soulmate sabotage in an effort to bring awareness before things get too bad.
Top 10 Signs of Soulmate Sabotage
1) Having unrealistic expectations. So many people think soulmates are like couples in fairy tales. They meet, and then live happily ever after. Nothing could be further from the truth. Soulmates have important lessons to learn and hurdles to get over. However, sometimes a soulmate will have such high expectations that it is actually a form of sabotage. They expect their soulmate to be perfect. They expect they will never argue with their soulmate. They expect their soulmate to agree with them on everything. This is not reality, it is fantasy. Be realistic about your soulmate, otherwise you could be unknowingly sabotaging your relationship.
2) Being too passive, or always the peacemaker, is another way a soulmate can sabotage the relationship. You may think you are doing it for the benefit of the relationship, but in truth, you are not. We are all capable of saying I’m sorry, and we are all in the wrong sometimes, and need to accept that. It is not your job to keep your soulmate from growing and becoming a better person. That is more damaging than you think. You should have enough faith in your soulmate connection and your soulmate than you do.
3) Another form of soulmate sabotage is when you do not address problems, and fix them, before taking your relationship to another level. What was a problem while you were dating, will more than likely be a problem when you live together. That problem, if not corrected, will still be there if you get married or start a family. Don’t move forward with these problems. Deal with them and then move forward.
4) Focusing too much on chemistry and attraction, and not real compatibility, is another example of soulmate sabotage. Sure, the sex may be great and the chemistry intense, but that is not enough to keep you together forever. It is also not a way to fix your problems.
5) Being too melodramatic or a drama queen (or drama king) is an all too common characteristic of soulmate sabotage. Constant drama only causes long-term damage. It doesn’t make for long-term bliss. Get rid of the drama and don’t tolerate it. It has no place in a happy soulmate relationship, only a dysfunctional one.
6) Another example of soulmate sabotage is when you constantly break up over stupid, inconsequential things. That is totally disrespectful to your soulmate and the relationship itself. Your connection was a gift from the universe. If you bought someone a gift and they disrespected it, how happy would YOU be? Would you ever give them a gift again? Don’t be ungrateful for the gift you have it given, as that gift can be taken away from you.
7) Constantly keeping score is another great way to sabotage your soulmate relationship. How does feeling the need to constantly “one up” your soulmate create harmony? It doesn’t, so knock it off.
8) Always needing to be right is another top form of soulmate sabotage. You don’t need to always be right. You don’t always need to go out of your way to prove you are right. That is one of your soulmate lessons obviously. Take your ego down a notch before it’s too late.
9) Being too comfortable with your soulmate can sabotage your relationship. You may think you can do or say anything you want and get away with it because of your connection. Not so. Don’t give your soulmate the worst of who you are. They deserve the best, not the worst. Why would you treat anyone else better than you do your soulmate? How could you not think that isn’t a form of sabotage?
10) Being too needy, clingy, or not giving personal space or privacy is detrimental to your soulmate relationship. Being too needy or clingy makes a person feel smothered after a while. People that feel smothered feel the urge to break free. You should also trust them enough to have a respectful level of privacy. If you don’t, the reason for that distrust needs to be addressed.
Hopefully this will be a wake up call to some soulmates who are sabotaging their relationships without even knowing it and start using corrective action to bring harmony back to their relationships.
Competing for attention from your soulmate can prove very frustrating. You would think that a soulmate relationship would not leave you competing for attention, but quite the opposite is often true.
Due to intensity of the soulmate connection, many people think they bend the rules a bit. Breaking the rules in soulmate relationships can actually cause the relationship to fall apart. Because soulmates have a unique, eternal bond, many believe this connection can never be broken. They believe either consciously, or subconsciously, a soulmate will be extra understanding, and be there waiting for them regardless of the amount of time and energy they throw their way.
Since soulmates often prove their love in the wrong ways, it is easy to see how they think they can do anything and get away with it. So often soulmates put up with the wrong behaviors, so they can be taken for granted and mistreated in many other ways. Perhaps the reason you are competing for attention from your soulmate is because they know you won’t leave. If they are unafraid because there are no consequences to the lack of attention they give you, they figure why not do it?
When your soulmate has an attitude like this, there is no telling what kind of shenanigans they may wind up pulling on you and your relationship. Your soulmate should not put you in a place where you are competing for attention. You should not have to compete with their family, their friends, hobbies, work, or even a romantic rival. And you should never allow yourself to be put in that situation either.
You may be terrified to lose them and act on that fear. That fear causes your relationship to deteriorate. You reward their bad behavior by standing by them, being afraid to punish them, and therefore enabling them to continue with the lack of time they spend with you. They are immune to your feelings, because your feelings for them come first, with both of you.
If you revolve your world around them, then they are the center of the universe. You are no longer equals. You both took a spiritual connection and made it a dysfunctional one. The universe won’t save your relationship, because they didn’t trash it. Both of you created this mess and it is up to you both to fix it. You can’t repair your soulmate relationship by competing for affection, attention, or anything else.
In order for your soulmate to honor your connection, you must honor it as well. You need to hold them, as well as yourself, to a higher standard, not a lower one. If they want to lower their standards, don’t go down there with them. It will be even harder to rise from the gutter. Instead, challenge them with your higher standards. Don’t give in so easily to theirs! One of you is going to get what you want, and do either of you really want to destroy what you could have?
Soulmates don’t always get to stay together forever. Some can be in wonderful long-term relationships, but those soulmates rose to the soulmate challenge and raised their relationship standards. They did not lower them, at least not permanently. If you lower your standards, you may have a long-term relationship, but it will be full of chaos, drama, and dysfunction, which makes many of them wish a soulmate had never entered their lives.
Before you let fear be your guide, think things though, using your head, not your heart. Would you let anyone else get away with this? Do you really think it is a bad thing to say what is on your mind and tell your soulmate they need to give you the attention you deserve? Is there anything really wrong with expressing how their lack of attention has made you feel? Do you think you have a right to tell them enough is enough and it is time for a change? Isn’t that what you should be able to do in a healthy relationship?
In a healthy soulmate relationship, or any relationship for that matter, the two parties will make mistakes, but they work through them, and resolve them. They don’t focus on the competition, because that won’t fix anything. It is not the competition that is the problem. It is not any outside party, it is one of the two, and it must be fixed from within the relationship. Your soulmate is choosing to put their attention elsewhere, and it is up to you to show them they are making the wrong choice.
Leaving a bad soulmate relationship is something many people are unwilling to do. They feel they would rather stay in a bad soulmate relationship, refusing to leave, in the hopes it will get better. Leaving their soulmate is out of the question for many people. What if leaving a bad soulmate relationship is the only way to save it? What if leaving is the right thing to do or the only thing to do to create positive change?
This may seem like a foreign concept to many people. How can leaving a bad soulmate relationship actually be a positive thing? The answer is easy. Many people are afraid of leaving a bad relationship because they feel that leaving is final. They may let someone break up with them 400 times and let them back 400 times but they don’t think someone would let them back or want them back. If you ask us, that’s pretty ridiculous.
If you wind up leaving a bad soulmate relationship because your soulmate won’t get with the program, how is it your fault you left? Are you implying your soulmate is too stupid to know their behavior wasn’t pushing you away and that eventually you might leave? Your soulmate isn’t that stupid, they know they deserve to have you leave them.
The truth of the matter is you don’t believe your soulmate will care if you wind up leaving. You are insecure. You believe they will be happy without you and move on quickly to someone else. That alone is enough of a reason to leave. Why on earth would you stay in a relationship that makes you feel that way? How could you be that stupid to think you will stay together if your soulmate doesn’t care if you end it?
The longer you stay, the less attractive you will become to your soulmate. When you allow someone to treat you badly, it doesn’t make them respect you. It doesn’t prove your love for them. It makes them see you as their victim, as insecure, and someone they cannot take seriously. Their treatment of you will only get worse.
You may think if you stay instead of leaving a bad soulmate relationship, they may wake up one day and realize how important you are to them. Well, how many days have you given them already to test your theory? What are you going to do to wake them up?
Sometimes leaving a bad soulmate relationship can remind someone how much they need you. Leaving doesn’t always mean you have to end the relationship. You can physically leave, by being less affectionate. You can emotionally withdraw as a way of leaving. You can focus more on yourself and stop making the relationship and your soulmate’s nonsense a priority. Withdrawing or pulling back your attention can be an effective way of leaving. It could be as simple as not initiating contact, or begging to see them, or complaining about not spending enough time together.
At some point, leaving a bad soulmate relationship could be the best thing that happens to you as a couple. Sometimes it is the lesson your soulmate needs to learn to move forward in a more positive and healthy way. You will learn from this experience as well.
When is it time to give your soulmate a time-out? Is there ever a good reason to give your soulmate relationship a time-out? Since soulmates are supposed have a connection, how can a time-out be the right thing for them? How could a time-out help a soulmate relationship? Soulmates can benefit from time-outs as it can actually reinforce their connection.
Because of their deep connection, a time-out can be just what they need. Emotions run so very high in soulmate relationships. The love to the extreme and they can battle to the extreme. Everything is extreme when it comes to soulmates. The love and affection are on a higher level, and the fighting is just as intense. So when soulmates are at odds, it could be a very good idea to go to separate corners for a while.
Soulmates may need a time-out to shift gears from wanting to hurt one another to missing one another terribly. They need those feelings of anger or hurt to die down, and love to surge again. When soulmates fight they can act like bitter enemies where you would almost think they hate one another. Often if you give them a few days apart, they are bawling like babies because they miss each other so much. They often then could care less about or don’t even remember what they were fighting about.
So yes, there is a good time to give your soul mate a time-out. If your soul mate is acting out or acting the fool is may be the perfect time to give them a time-out. If you can’t reason with them, or they are looking to fight then let them alone. Let them know you are not going to be around them when they are acting like this. Instead of letting them wind you up over something stupid or irrational, give them a time-out.
They are obviously looking for you to sink to their level, and nothing good will come from that. Don’t go there. Do something constructive instead of destructive. Of course many soulmates are terrified that a time-out will lead to a break up. This is just silly. Do you think a time-out will do more damage than is being currently done? Do you really think they will stop loving you? Love doesn’t work that way. Do you really think they will get over you and find someone else? In a few days? Again, that is just silly and melodramatic. No one falls out of love and in love with someone else in a matter of days. Put your fears aside and do the right thing. When it is time to give your soulmate a time-out, then do so.
Don’t confuse time-outs with on/off relationships. If you are giving your soulmate time-outs constantly then there is clearly a bigger problem that must be addressed. Some people do use time-outs as power plays and to create an on/off situation. That is relationship dysfunction 101 and not a good idea at all. Check out our article about on/off soulmate relationships here.
When giving a time-out, do so in a calm manner, or as calm as possible. Let them know how long you will be gone, or how long you want them to leave. Let them know this is not the end of your relationship, but an effort to make things better. Let them know you will be think a lot about things, and that you both need time to get your heads together and your hearts in alignment. Tell them you are doing things for the good of the relationship, not to hurt it. Agree to not have any communication until the date you agree on. Make a plan to meet for lunch or dinner on that date. A time-out may be just the thing to give your soulmate relationship a much needed reboot.
Has your soulmate made you depressed? When you met your soulmate, you thought you finally found “the one” and thought it would be smooth sailing from now on. The last think you thought was that this relationship would have made you depressed. You thought when your soulmate and you got together your interactions would be filled with nothing but romance and happiness. The connection between you is so strong, and the chemistry is unbelievable. You never felt like this before, and you knew this relationship was something different in a good way.
But now you feel like you are being tortured, and you cannot understand what this is all about. Soulmates are not supposed to make you depressed, right? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels, aren’t they? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels. The problem though is that in order to take you to higher levels, change has to occur.
Rarely is change easy, and change is also often painful. To get to the soulmate high takes some hard work. Being depressed also sometimes comes along for the ride. You may think you are excusing bad behavior or actions and taking the high road but you are actually doing the opposite. When something comes up between you and your soulmate it is one of your tests. It is revealing something about both of you that needs change for the betterment of your relationship.
If you let it go, and your soulmate thinks they got away with it, you both failed. You didn’t do something to help the relationship, you actually played a part in hurting it. These tests are going to show up, and they will repeat themselves until you both learn. Your soulmate may have made you depressed, but you may have also assisted them in doing so. You may be responsible in some way, shape or form. Let change start with you.
Some people in soulmate relationships feel depressed because they feel powerless. They don’t know how to stop the actions or words that their soul ate uses to hurt them. They feel unable to make it stop and change and they are miserable and depressed. But if you keep doing the same thing or saying the same thing as your reaction to those words and actions, of course the dynamic is going to change. You are not powerless. You are afraid to do something different.
It is your fear that is controlling you, not your soul ate. Fearful people feel powerless. They also feel depressed. Take your power back and get rid of your fear. In doing so, you may also begin the process of getting rid of your depression as well. You should also see changes for the better in your relationship. You may get resistance at first, but stay strong and low positive changes to occur for you and your soul ate. Make the required effort, instead of the same thing that never works and only makes things worse.