If you are in a relationship with a narcissist you living in hell on earth. A narcissist is someone who constantly belittles you at the drop of a hat. A narcissist makes you feel like a peasant while he is the king of not only his domain but yours. You spend every waking moment catering to their every wish, while all your wishes never come true. A narcissist doesn’t care about your wishes, hopes, dreams, feelings, judgment or needs. A narcissist only cares about their own, and so should you or you will be sorry.
You may try to keep the peace, but with a narcissist, peace is impossible. They create standards you can never reach, so you will fail again and again and it is up to them to dish out your punishment. And dish it out they will. Since you are all alone with your thoughts and feelings and are unable to verbalize them or exhibit them, you will feel like a robot, and a very lonely robot to boot. How did someone so promising and charming hide the fact that they are a narcissist? How did you not see this coming?
A narcissist is always different in the beginning of a relationship, way different. They come across as prince charming, sweep you off your feet and place you on this pedestal and treat you in a way you thought only happened in fairytales. Once you have fallen under their spell, a narcissist then lets his facade crumble. Not to the outside world though. Just in your personal life. They maintain their image for all the world to see, but allow you to see what is behind the mask, and it is what nightmares are made of.
A relationship with a narcissist is a one way street. The street leads towards them, and away from you. When you are in a relationship with a narcissist you must constantly cater to them and build and maintain their inflated ego and sense of self. At the expense of your own self esteem, dignity, and ego. Compassion will rarely be given to you by a narcissist, but they expect and demand it from you.
The term “double standards” is perfect to describe a relationship with a narcissist. It is all about them, and has nothing to do with you. They get the praise, you get the complains and reprimands. They have the say on everything, you are afraid to say anything and better keep your mouth shut. If they are not happy, you will not be allowed to be happy either. A narcissist doesn’t care about your happiness, they are only concerned with their own. Since narcissists are so in love with themselves, they cannot really be capable of really loving you because they can never put you first. Sure, if you try and end things with a narcissist they may go overboard to get you back. But is it really because they love you and will change? No, it is for their own ego, they do not want to be abandoned. THEY can leave YOU, but you cannot leave THEM. So how do you know if you are involved with a narcissist as a friend, lover or family tie?
A narcissist has an over inflated ego and thinks they are above others and look down on everyone else they deem not up to their standards. Because they are special, rules do not apply to them. To everyone else, yes, but to them, no. A narcissist has delusions of grandeur. They are not ordinary so why should they have an ordinary wife, ordinary kids and ordinary job or an ordinary house? That may be good enough for “other people” but not for them. They have a sense of entitlement like no one you have ever met before or since. They think other people are jealous of them or out to get them.
Narcissists feel you should be able to take criticism from them, and they will give it to you constantly. However, you cannot criticize them for ANYTHING. They will also twist your words and take things you say in a critical way when you did not mean it that way. They will have temper tantrums when they are unhappy over any little thing. Narcissists will keep you guessing,. One day they act like all is wonderful and they adore you, the next day, they are as cold as ice and treat you like a stranger or an enemy. A narcissist cannot sympathize or empathize with anyone other than themselves. Other peoples feelings, unless it is to get what something from them, are irrelevant.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist the thing that you may need to learn from this situation, more than likely, is how to walk away from it and gain your personal power and freedom back. Sarah and Sophia will help guide you back to your path and give you the encouragement you need to create the changes you need in your life.