Soulmates don’t grow on trees. Of course most people would like to meet their soulmate, but many don’t understand soulmates are not exactly easy to find. First of all, they are not everywhere, you can’t just go pick one up at your local Walmart. Your soulmate is one grain of sand on a huge beach, so of course, if you decide to put your energy into finding yours, it could take a while.
The universe created a soulmate for you, and will, of course, create the time and place for you to get together and begin your journey. Finding a soulmate can become frustrating because many people expect the universe to create a soulmate for them, but they want to decide where, when and how they meet. It doesn’t work like that. It is not up to you, it is up to the universe.
Think about it, many people don’t believe in soulmates, so it stands to reason they are not looking for them. Does this mean they will never meet a soulmate? Of course not. They are going to meet a soulmate regardless of whether they want to or not. This is why so many people feel blind sided when they meet one.
They were not looking for them and they probably didn’t even believe soulmates could exist. Their soulmate often manifests in their lives at a very inconvenient time for them. Why? Because the universe has its reasons, and when they want soulmates to come together, they put them together. There is always a reason why soulmates meet when they do. It causes both soulmates to take a look at what is not working for them in their lives.
One, or both, of the soulmates could be in previous relationships that have run their course and must come to an end. It could be to take a different career path, or to focus more, or less, on their current job/career. Another reason is to break bad relationship habits, otherwise they will just wind up in one dysfunctional relationship after another.
Friends and family may have created a toxic environment and the soulmate enters to help them break these ties that are holding them back from happiness and their life purpose. So when a soulmate enters, something has to exit. These exits, whether they are people, or ways of thinking or behaving, bring tons of drama and resistance with them. In many cases, only a soulmate connection can give each individual the kick in the pants, or the inner strength, to create those changes that would otherwise go unchanged.
Soulmate connections are rare and you don’t have hundreds of them to choose from. Just because you have a strong pull towards someone does not mean they are your soulmate. That pull could just be a strong physical chemistry, which is often confused with a soulmate connection. Although soulmates have a strong physical chemistry, not all couples with a strong physical chemistry are your soulmate.
You may be strongly attracted to someone because something is missing in your life, and that part of you has remained dormant for a long time. When it awakens it can feel really powerful and shake your life up. Does that mean they are a soul mate? Not necessarily. It could just be a strong attraction you have to something that you lost, or never had. There can be many instances where you meet people you feel a strong attraction to, a crush on, love, infatuation, or have special feelings for. They won’t all be soulmates, and it is important you don’t put the soulmate label on the wrong person.
Check our other article: Stop Trying to Make the Wrong Person Your Soulmate
When is it time to give your soulmate a time-out? Is there ever a good reason to give your soulmate relationship a time-out? Since soulmates are supposed have a connection, how can a time-out be the right thing for them? How could a time-out help a soulmate relationship? Soulmates can benefit from time-outs as it can actually reinforce their connection.
Because of their deep connection, a time-out can be just what they need. Emotions run so very high in soulmate relationships. The love to the extreme and they can battle to the extreme. Everything is extreme when it comes to soulmates. The love and affection are on a higher level, and the fighting is just as intense. So when soulmates are at odds, it could be a very good idea to go to separate corners for a while.
Soulmates may need a time-out to shift gears from wanting to hurt one another to missing one another terribly. They need those feelings of anger or hurt to die down, and love to surge again. When soulmates fight they can act like bitter enemies where you would almost think they hate one another. Often if you give them a few days apart, they are bawling like babies because they miss each other so much. They often then could care less about or don’t even remember what they were fighting about.
So yes, there is a good time to give your soul mate a time-out. If your soul mate is acting out or acting the fool is may be the perfect time to give them a time-out. If you can’t reason with them, or they are looking to fight then let them alone. Let them know you are not going to be around them when they are acting like this. Instead of letting them wind you up over something stupid or irrational, give them a time-out.
They are obviously looking for you to sink to their level, and nothing good will come from that. Don’t go there. Do something constructive instead of destructive. Of course many soulmates are terrified that a time-out will lead to a break up. This is just silly. Do you think a time-out will do more damage than is being currently done? Do you really think they will stop loving you? Love doesn’t work that way. Do you really think they will get over you and find someone else? In a few days? Again, that is just silly and melodramatic. No one falls out of love and in love with someone else in a matter of days. Put your fears aside and do the right thing. When it is time to give your soulmate a time-out, then do so.
Don’t confuse time-outs with on/off relationships. If you are giving your soulmate time-outs constantly then there is clearly a bigger problem that must be addressed. Some people do use time-outs as power plays and to create an on/off situation. That is relationship dysfunction 101 and not a good idea at all. Check out our article about on/off soulmate relationships here.
When giving a time-out, do so in a calm manner, or as calm as possible. Let them know how long you will be gone, or how long you want them to leave. Let them know this is not the end of your relationship, but an effort to make things better. Let them know you will be think a lot about things, and that you both need time to get your heads together and your hearts in alignment. Tell them you are doing things for the good of the relationship, not to hurt it. Agree to not have any communication until the date you agree on. Make a plan to meet for lunch or dinner on that date. A time-out may be just the thing to give your soulmate relationship a much needed reboot.
Soulmate memories can be bittersweet. For some people, soulmate memories bring positive emotions in remembering their connection and time together. They see it as an experience that helped shape their lives, opportunities for spiritual growth and evolving to the next level of their existence.
For others, soulmate memories can be heart wrenching, preventing them from moving forward with their lives. They live in the past because they feel the constant pull backwards to the time they shared with their soulmates. They very often obsess about the relationship and what coulda, shoulda, woulda been. It is very difficult to stay on a forward momentum and progress in your life when your soulmate has separated from you.
Regardless of the reason, or lack thereof, many people find it almost impossible to release the hold soulmate memories have over them. They wish they could stop thinking of their soulmate, or being reminded of them time and time again, through reminders the Universe throws at them. Memories come flooding back and peace of mind and emotional fortitude go out the window.
How can the memories of a soulmate help someone instead of constantly hurting them? Are there any benefits to soulmate memories? There can be numerous ways they can help, if you use them the right way.
Dwelling on the past, instead of learning from it, is a bad idea and it keeps you stuck. It is natural for someone to feel pain when thinking of a relationship that didn’t work out. If you and your soulmate have ended your relationship, don’t let their memory defeat you.
Don’t focus primarily on the good times. If you find only warm, pleasant memories plaguing you, immediately shift your focus to the bad ones. Don’t romanticize, but remember the entire relationship, not just the parts that were good. Don’t focus on the lessons they needed to learn, and when or if they ever will. Look back at the changes that relationship made in you.
Did you become someone you didn’t like? Did you change for the worse, even though you did it for love? Did you let them get away with murder? Did you constantly make excuses for them? Were they breaking things, including your heart, all the time but you always had to reach out, apologize, or be the bigger person?
That is what you should think about when soulmate memories rear their ugly head. Remember who you were before that relationship and how you may have changed for the worse. Focus on going back to who you were before the damage was done. Detox from the drama, problems and issues. Get your strength, your dignity and your self-respect back. Instead of wondering when or if they will return, worry about them returning to the same old nonsense.
Make the changes you need to so that craziness won’t happen again. Learn the lessons and experience the personal growth you needed to embrace either a new soulmate or a returning one. Then you can create new and lasting relationships in the future.
Has your soulmate made you depressed? When you met your soulmate, you thought you finally found “the one” and thought it would be smooth sailing from now on. The last think you thought was that this relationship would have made you depressed. You thought when your soulmate and you got together your interactions would be filled with nothing but romance and happiness. The connection between you is so strong, and the chemistry is unbelievable. You never felt like this before, and you knew this relationship was something different in a good way.
But now you feel like you are being tortured, and you cannot understand what this is all about. Soulmates are not supposed to make you depressed, right? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels, aren’t they? Soulmates are supposed to lift you up, support you, and take you to higher levels. The problem though is that in order to take you to higher levels, change has to occur.
Rarely is change easy, and change is also often painful. To get to the soulmate high takes some hard work. Being depressed also sometimes comes along for the ride. You may think you are excusing bad behavior or actions and taking the high road but you are actually doing the opposite. When something comes up between you and your soulmate it is one of your tests. It is revealing something about both of you that needs change for the betterment of your relationship.
If you let it go, and your soulmate thinks they got away with it, you both failed. You didn’t do something to help the relationship, you actually played a part in hurting it. These tests are going to show up, and they will repeat themselves until you both learn. Your soulmate may have made you depressed, but you may have also assisted them in doing so. You may be responsible in some way, shape or form. Let change start with you.
Some people in soulmate relationships feel depressed because they feel powerless. They don’t know how to stop the actions or words that their soul ate uses to hurt them. They feel unable to make it stop and change and they are miserable and depressed. But if you keep doing the same thing or saying the same thing as your reaction to those words and actions, of course the dynamic is going to change. You are not powerless. You are afraid to do something different.
It is your fear that is controlling you, not your soul ate. Fearful people feel powerless. They also feel depressed. Take your power back and get rid of your fear. In doing so, you may also begin the process of getting rid of your depression as well. You should also see changes for the better in your relationship. You may get resistance at first, but stay strong and low positive changes to occur for you and your soul ate. Make the required effort, instead of the same thing that never works and only makes things worse.
Is your soulmate relationship driving you crazy? There are many people who sadly allow their soulmate to drive them crazy when it really can be avoided for the most part. The best way to keep your soulmate relationship from driving you crazy is to keep the faith. If you really believe you have found your soulmate, and that you have a connection, keep the faith that you will get through this with the universe’s help.
If you begin asking yourself questions like, what is your soulmate doing, are we even soulmates, then you don’t really have faith, do you? If you don’t have the faith needed in your soulmate relationship, how can you expect your partner to? When you lose faith in what you have, you lose the power you need to get through the bad times. Soulmate relationships have a lot of challenges, and you have to draw strength from the connection you share, not break it down. Even if your soulmate is the one doing the damage, make sure you don’t join them.
You shouldn’t be driving each other crazy, or letting the soulmate relationship drive you crazy. You should just chalk it up to the fact these relationships stir up things within us that need to be addressed. Look at what the universe is showing both you and your soulmate. Separate the lessons. Don’t be so busy worrying about whether or not your soulmate will learn theirs that you are not addressing your own. When you avoid learning yours, you enable your soulmate to keep on driving you crazy.
Let’s say your soulmate pulls a disappearing act now and then. First, look at the lessons you both could need to learn. Your soulmate’s could be that they have to face problems and not run from them. Yours could be that you have to set and enforce boundaries so that your soulmate needs to understand they can’t keep doing this.
Without you learning yours, how can they learn theirs?
You actually make it harder for them to learn theirs if you don’t learn yours. If you prevent your soulmate from learning their lesson, your behavior contributes to their craziness. So, time to educate and empower yourself. If you do that, you set the wheels in motion for them to rise to your level.
Don’t let crazy behavior make you question what you know to be true. Don’t obsess as to the why and the how they could behave this way. Just chalk it up to them acting crazy, and let them do it solo. Let them work through what they need to and keep yourself sane. You know the truth. You know your love is real and your connection is real. When they question it, they act crazy. When you question it, you will act crazy. There is no way that two crazy people can have a sane relationship, so stop it.
You may need a bit of a pep talk every now and then, but don’t talk to people who you know will be driving you crazy. Keep a level head and do what you need to do, and chances are your soulmate will do the same. Regardless of how long it may take, you will get through the process a lot easier if you stay sane than let it bring you to your knees. You may not have a choice as to how long it can take for your soulmate to get their act together, but it is your choice how you handle it, and what you do while you wait it out.